by Adam Lynch
“Okay, how do I look?!” Amy asked me as she and I added the finishing touches of our zombie make-up.
“Well… like a zombie…” I replied with an unconscious smile.
“And zombies are totally fabulous, right?! I mean look at that grey skin! Sexy right?!”
“Jesus, Amy! Really?!” remarked Seth suddenly as he came into my room. “You couldn’t have at least thought of something more attractive to dress up for Halloween?!”
“Well at least I’m dressed up as something!” she replied. “Where the heck’s your costume, dude?!”
“I don’t need a costume! I’m just going for the free candy! We’re a little too old to be dressing up anyway!”
“Oh? But not to too old to be eating a bagful of candy?!”
“You’re never too old for candy, Amy!”
“Do you even know where we’re trick-or-treating at this year?!”
“Miles told us about a neighborhood where celebrities and famous bands like us meet for Halloween every year,” said Michael as he snuck into our room with his goofy “Count Dracula” outfit. “This year we’ve been invited to join them!”
“You mean there are going to be several adults dressing up there?!” Seth asked.
“Yup, looks like you’re going to be the odd-ball out!” said Amy. “I told you should have picked up a costume!”
“Well dang it, man! Nobody told me there were going to be adults dressing up!”
“Well luckily for you, I so happen to possess an additional costume! And if you say please, I might actually think about letting you borrow it.”
“What is it?”
“A werewolf, but it might be a little small for you. You’re welcome to try it on anyway if you like.”
“Sure, I might as well. Thanks for telling me all of this beforehand, Amy!”
“Quit your whining before I take back my costume and leave you with nothing!”
Seth reserved the movement of his tongue after she had said this.
“You girls are looking great!” said Michael as Seth left the room to get changed.
“I know, don’t we?!” said Amy as she stuck out her hips to the side in a flattered fashion. “Aren’t we just the sexiest zombies you ever saw?!”
“Without a doubt,” he chuckled.
“Where’s L?” I asked Michael suddenly. “Is he ready yet?”
“Yes, baby girl,” he answered me. “I believe he is just about ready to reveal his surprise.”
“Surprise?!” asked Amy as if puzzled. “What, is he he planning to go as something fancy?”
“I’m not sure, baby cakes. I suppose we’ll find out soon enough.”
It was at that moment when Seth returned dressed in his werewolf costume, stumbling through the door frame as he presented his awkwardly fitted apparel.
“How’s anybody supposed to see through this thing?!” he asked as we struggled to hear his voice outside of the large wolf mask. “It’s also really hard to breathe!”
“Yup, and that’s why I decided to go with the zombie make-up instead,” Amy replied.
“It seems a bit tight…” I added.
“Yeah and it’s itchy as hell!” he said.
“Yeah, well take it or leave it, dude!” proclaimed Amy. “It’s not like you have very many options!”
“Whatever, I don’t care! Let’s just go and get some free candy already!”
“Sounds like a good plan to me,” I said. “Let’s go check on L!”
As Amy and I made finishing touches to our make-up—and attempted to fix up Seth’s costume the best we could—we left the room and made our way out the front door to see if L was there… because for some reason, he wasn’t anywhere else in the house…
“Where the heck did he go?!” Amy asked agitatedly. “He didn’t just leave without us, did he?!”
The second our voices caught ear of the sound was the second everyone flinched from being startled! But it wasn’t just the sound of the unexpected voice that frightened us—but the fact that sudden life was given to a substance our eyes once believed to be a statue…
“Holy crap, it lives!” Amy gasped.
“My god, L, I thought for certain you were one of the Halloween decorations!” admitted Seth.
“That’s the point!” L stated proudly as he showed off his theater-quality ghost-statue costume!”
“Beautiful costume, L!” said Michael, being the first to appreciate its exquisiteness.
“That’s so cool!” I said. “Where did you get something like this?”
“I hired a tailor to have this custom made! I wanted her to make the most realistic looking ghost-statue costume possible—that way I could trick people into thinking I was part of the decorations!”
“Well somebody’s taking this a bit too seriously!” said Amy in an envious tone.
Once everyone was ready, we pitched a ride in one of the “celebrity-Halloween-limos” that could only be summoned by referral of another celebrity who’d already once participated in the reserved event. In this way it could be assured that only invited guests would be able to attend.
“Alright, here we are!” the limo driver proudly presented as he opened up the doors for us.
“Wow, cool!” said Amy immediately upon sight, being the first to give her impression as she always was.
“Pretty neat-oh place, wouldn’t you say, Rebecca?” L asked as he looked at me, smiling brightly even over his ghoulish make-up.
The sight certainly was something to excite even the hearts of full-grown adults. There were celebrities everywhere—some recognizable and others not, due to the complexity of their costumes, but regardless of who was here and who wasn’t, the costumes themselves were super cool to look at!
Some costumes had bright glowing eyes and prickly finger-tips, while others had costumes of robotic form—reminding me a lot from that one movie I saw a while back… what was it again? Transformers?
Some costumes looked really expensive! I saw life-like iron mans that looked as if they were pulled straight from the movies! Incredible, I thought! There were even some star-wars looking characters with these really cool glowing swords!
Despite the endless amount of costumes I could describe that particularly caught my eye, the neighborhood was also very well decorated! There were orange and yellow colored lights everywhere, with pumpkins, gravestones, jumping spiders, and any other cool Halloween decoration one could think of!
And although the neighborhood was intended for adults, of course every celebrity that was a parent also had to bring their children with them, so as you might imagine, there were kids running around everywhere!
“What the heck are you doing, L?!” Amy asked as L stood next to a row of statues, standing perfectly still.
“I’m beginning the purpose of my new creation,” he replied.
“You know the whole purpose of trick-or-treating is trick-or-treating, right?” asked Seth with as much of an annoyed tone as Amy’s.
“Any of you are welcome to join in if you like. It’s quite fun scaring people this way.”
“Oh my gosh! Did that statue just talk?!” asked a little girl as several kids approached L.
“Well of course it did, honey!” said the mother of the child as she approached L herself. “These statues are made to talk so they may appear as realistic as possible.”
“But mommy, he spoke like a real person!”
“He does seem a bit real… now that you mention it…”
L waited for the mother and children to get really close before suddenly bursting out with a loud yell!
The mother and all the children gasped in terror, tripping over themselves. However, they all laughed hysterically once they realized their mistake.
“Oh my god, he is real after all!” laughed the mother as she placed her palm on her chest. “That really is a cool costume you have there!”
Upon making the family’s acquaintance, the kids marveled at each of our costumes, especially L’s and Michael’s in particular—since their costumes were the biggest standouts. The family’s questions were endless. The mother demanded the entire explanation of how L’s costume was made while the kids had a blast playing with Michael and his cool cape.
“Here, come on!” suggested Amy, eager to get started with our venture. “L and Michael will probably be occupied for a while now, so let’s go ahead and get started before all the good candy is gone!”
“I completely agree!” said Seth as the three of us made our way to the closest home.
As we ventured from home to home, I was amazed in news ways of the various presentations they each provided. Every house had its own set of decorations that established a unique theme, whether that theme was of monsters, ghosts, or Frankenstein, there was always something to be astounded with!
“Hold on, you guys!” cried Seth as Amy and I paced ourselves from house to house. “I can’t see at all in this thing!”
“Then take it off and put it back on before we knock on the next house!” suggested Amy as he obeyed, running to catch up with us. “Sheesh, how’d you guys end up all the way up here?! Don’t you think you’re moving a little fast for zombies?!”
“Not all zombies are slow, stupid! Haven’t you ever seen the movie, I Am Legend?”
“Those weren’t zombies! They were infected! Big difference, smart one!”
“How so?! They both suck brains!”
“No, only zombies suck brains! The infected raises an army by biting and turning normal people into one of them!”
“That’s exactly what zombies do, you moron!”
While Amy and Seth argued endlessly (as they always have) over insignificant matters, I focused on splitting the candy I gathered for Michael and L, assuming they haven’t collected any of their own yet. At the end of the night, I’d feel really bad if I gathered all this delicious candy for myself without the boys having anything…
As we managed to arrive at the dead end of the road, we found one house in the whole lot that wasn’t decorated—which was very strange, considering the immense festivity throughout the entire neighborhood.
“How come this one’s not decorated?” I asked Amy and Seth, hoping to have them interested in something other than their pointless argument.
“Yeah, what the heck?” said Amy. “That is weird! What a scrooge!”
“Scrooge only applies to Christmas, Amy! Come one, now!”
“Shut the hell up, Seth!”
“Should we go knock on the door?” I asked.
“I wouldn’t!” said Amy. “It looks haunted!”
“All the more reason to engage!” initiated Seth as he approached the old house, peeking through the side window.
“Don’t do that, you creep!”
“What?! I’m just seeing if anybody’s in there!”
“Then try knocking on the door like a normal person!”
“Go ahead then! I’m not stopping you!”
As we knocked on the door, we waited patiently as if not expecting an answer to arrive anytime soon… however, the second Amy knocked on the door was the second a short old lady yanked it open, startling us so greatly we nearly tripped over ourselves!
“Who’s there?!” she shouted.
“Jesus!” gasped Seth—even though he wasn’t even on the porch…
“Who are you and what are you doing at my house?!”
Amy and I turned to look at each other, hoping one of us could possibly understand why she’d ask such a question.
“Uh, trick-or-treat?” I asked almost hesitantly.
“Aren’t you ladies a little old for Halloween?!”
“Come on, Amy and Rebecca, let’s go!” declared Seth as he departed from the property. “There must have been a good reason for everyone to avoid this house, and I think I’m beginning to understand why!”
“What the hell is that young man doing on my lawn?!” the old lady asked anxiously. “Are you three trying to rob my home?!”
“No, ma’am, we were just passing through!” I clarified as Amy and I slowly stepped down the house. “You have a goodnight now!”
“I’d better not catch you folks on my property again! If I do, you’ll have my shotgun to escort you off!”
“Understood, ma’am! It won’t happen again! I promise!”
“Next time I’ll set landmines on my front steps! See how you like that! Now go on! Get!”
Suddenly fearing for our lives, the three of us sprinted from that home when we heard the sound of loaded guns—she was serious! Running back to the festivities, we passed a family of four heading the same way we just came.
“Don’t go that way! Crazy old lady alert!” warned Amy when we passed them at high speed.
Once we caught our breaths after returning to “the safe zone”, we checked over every house to make sure we had already visited it—and to make sure it was civilized if we hadn’t.
“Whelp, looks like that’s all we’re going to get today!” said Amy as the three of checked our batch of sweets.
“What do mean, that’s all?!” mocked Seth. “That’s a month’s worth of candy, maybe even two! How much do you need, fat-ass?!”
“I was just making an observation! You don’t need to be so rude!”
I was so relieved to find Michael and L again—before Amy and Seth got rattled up into another one of their pointless arguments. Thank god I’d found them just in time!
“L! Michael!” I said the two of them as I embraced them with adoring hugs. “It’s so wonderful to see you two again!”
The two of them chuckled with the understanding of my tone when they saw Amy and Seth bickering again.
“Did you guys get a lot of candy?” L asked as he peeked inside my pumpkin basket.
“Yup, and I made sure to gather some for you two as well!”
“That’s sweet of you, baby girl,” said Michael. “But I’ve never actually been too fond of candy. I’m sure L would love some though.”
“You bet I would!” he said. “I haven’t eaten candy since last Halloween, ha ha! Thanks, Rebecca!”