Suicide

 

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Introduction

Suicide; the act or an instance of taking one's own life voluntarily and intentionally. Sadly these words resonate true to a lot of people. To someone who is depressed and not thinking clearly this word means more than killing yourself. It means a light at the end of a long dark tunnel. It means that the pain and sadness can end and you can be at peace. The glowing exit sign for the production called "life" that you had no part in to begin with. Living in the now it seems like a fantastic option when you can't deal with your own problems but looking to the future, well, there isn't one. Suicide prevents the sadness of now but also the happiness of the future. It stops potential jobs, kids, significant others. Suicide is not only killing yourself but any future that you may have had. 
On the other side of the fence, the morals instilled in everything from parenting to religion preaches that your not "allowed" to take your own life. In reality, its become one of the few freedoms you have left. How can you justify telling someone that they aren't allowed to be in charge of their own life, Whether living or dead? The morality of the case is something that should be thought of, if you desire to die to end your problems what's that leave? You've just dropped the weight of the world on your family and friends. Questions with no answers. This empty void that nothing can fill besides hearing their voice one more time. How could they leave us here? Why didn't they talk to me? What could I have done differently?  
Empathy is the only route to turn around someone who's considering taking their own life. To walk in their shoes and hold their hand through the darkness, helping them discover that life is worth living is the way to save their life. The alternative is far worse. The light at the end of the tunnel is just the flash of a barrel or the sharp sting of a knife to flesh. All this leads to is more darkness. To offer a shoulder to cry on or a hand to hold is much more effective than telling them not to do it.
 
    Personally, I've dealt with suicide more times in my life than I'd like to. Three seperate occasions have had me on my knees begging for answers. Once was my own attempt, in a moment of weakness when I couldnt handle the weight on my chest I made the awful choice to end my own life. Sitting in a bathtub in Florida with nodody but myself to talk to I slit my left wrist. Deep enough to sever some tendons but not enough to truly end my life. In that moment, I panicked, ran to the kitchen and saved my own life. It obviously worked because I'm here to talk about this. It opened my eyes to the tragedy and heartbreak that a family must endure. Given the opportunity to go back and talk to myself, I would have done my best to explain that its not worth the struggle. The years of physical therapy to regain control of my left hand. The tremble I get when trying to support weight on my hand. Rereading the note over and over again trying to really put an answer to the endless questions I gave myself.  

       Secondly, I lost a family member. An uncle who I hadn't seen in years. My father's brother, whom he hadn't spoken to in years. They found him in a tree, a stomach full of bleach and a rope tied around his neck. No note, no answers and a family left in pain. Lastly, and most recently a friend decided a long fall onto a concrete slab was easier than living with his demons. No answers, no note. Life has its funny way of turning you on your head but the quote that always come back is: "Rock bottom is a good play to lay a foundation" meaning there's nowhere to go but up. When you're at your lowest don't look at it as an end. Look at it as a new beginning. Life is worth living and no matter what its better than the alternative.

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