She sits with me day by day, crying her beautiful blue eyes bloodshot. My life is coming to an end and I couldn't perceive leaving someone in the state that I'm in either. She is breathtaking though. Her piercing blue eyes just stare straight through me at this point. She spends more time watching the windows and wiping the tears back than she does sitting with me. She can't bare to look at me in the shape I'm in. I open my mouth to speak but the tubes in my throat stop me from doing anything but grunting and wheezing. The silence in the room at this point is deafening. I want to open my mouth and tell her I love her, that I don't want to leave. The cancer has taken everything from me. My manhood, my money, my job, my house and now my life.
You would think after never smoking anything but the occasional marijuana cigarette that I'd be a low risk for lung cancer, apparently not. This devilish disease takes a once strong and powerful man and diminishes you to a sad sack of skin and bones. Night after night I can feel the pain of the cancer grasping at my throat. Squeezing like the devil himself is trying to choke the life out of me. He's succeeding in his attempts to take me with him but he'll never get my soul.
I never sleep anymore. There's no reason, I'm going to die soon as is, so why waste the precious seconds that I have left. I see her sleeping on the couch across the room and I so long to get up and go over there with her. I want to go back to the days that her and I would walk and talk along the beach in my back yard. The days where the love was real and her days were filled with tears of joy, not sadness. Her voice was that of an angel and her hair showed the softest shade of brunette. The light breeze blew the sweet smell of flowers and I would breathe it in and hold it, imprinting it to my memories so that even now, with her look of loving sadness, couldn't sway the happiness of spending my last moments with her.
It's time for me to go, the light of the other side is calling to me and I can't resist it any longer. I can feel my soul lifting from my body. My physical form is no more but I can still gather the strength the walk my ghost over to her and sit down next to her. The blanket hangs low on her shoulders and I can see she's cold. I pulled it softly onto her shoulder, I give her an ethereal kiss goodbye. "It's time for me to go, I love you and hope you're happy." Her lips curled up into a smile, her eyes fluttered in her dreams and she mouthed, "I love you too." The EKG went flat, I was gone. Goodbye my love.