I am just beginning to explore this journey my mind has taken. There isn't much here yet, but it is all forming and will transfer to paper over time. Sorry if you got here so early that you only saw the beginning ramblings. I hope that I can make this something for you to enjoy over time.

Now, please, keep your hands and arms inside the vehicle at all times. Do not move until the train comes to a complete stop. And, most of all, enjoy the ride!

     My eyes flash left to right and right to left as I grapple with the here and now and where I am. The last thing I remember I was typing on my computer. No, that's not right either. My best friend was here. She was at my house with me. She didn't want to leave but I made her go. She was worried about me. I had been arguing with Ben again and I was upset. Bailey didn't want to leave me alone. I promised I wouldn't do anything "stupid" or go anywhere "dumb" as she so put it. 

     And then, it's all gone. Every second is a mystery. It is so black where I am that my eyes are having a hard time adjusting to the pitch of the endless darkness. I attempt to use my voice and find that nothing comes out. I am not even making a squeak. I blink rapidly. Why aren't my eyes adjusting? Where the hell am I? What the fuck happened?

     I attempt to move my fingers and wiggle my toes and I can't feel either. I don't know if they are wiggling. I don't know if they are trying to move. I don't know how hard my body is fighting to continue on and be strong. My breathing is rapid and shallow. I realize that I am gasping for air.

     WHY AREN'T MY EYES ADJUSTING?

     And then, I remember.....

I met Ben 2 years ago. 2 years ago he had a girlfriend, I was busy screwing whoever was next on the block, while always reverting to my typical "ex sex." I had my go-to fuck buddy and he had his girlfriend. End of story.

But, it wasn't.

That's just how it all began. 

There was something about Ben that I felt the second I met him. I didn't care that he had a girlfriend. I didn't care about my fuck buddy. There was a spark. That sounds ridiculous. It's not like he burst into flames or whatever. There was just something. And it intrigued me. 

And then, bam! He was single. And I made my move. Check. Mate.

We went out of town for the weekend and had the time of our lives. We had the most incredible sex that anyone could ever imagine. We never stopped laughing.

And then we came home.

And everything fell apart.