For all of the young women who have experienced
cat-calling, harassment, abuse, and suffering at the hands of men.
*All spelling kept the same as original messages
Who is this?
My names John. I sorta have a little crush on you
I can’t really say..
How did you get my number?
Got it from a friend
Who gave you my number?
I answered your question. I got your number from one of my friends
I can’t say what friend
What’s our connection? Work? School? Both are wide enough to conceal your anonymity.
School is our connection
I’ve heard something recently about you. I heard you’re kinda kinky
Who told you that?
Same friend that gave your number to me
May I ask if that’s true?
Who are you?
I told you my name.
I don’t know you.
I’d prefer to know who you are.
I can understand that but I can’t tell you just yet
Is our connection high school or college?
Well I was only at EL for three months. I was kinda nerdy and quiet when I went there. I graduated in 2013
That was a long time ago.
I know but that’s kind of a reason I decided to figure out what your number is
Oh and I spend a lot of time with horses
You had a crush on me in high school?
I did before but kind of intensified after I heard that
Is it true?
Why does your number have a Virginia area code?
I don’t know you.
Does that help at all?
I don’t recognize you.
I was only at EL for two months
Now that you sent me a selfie can I get a last name?
Can I get the friend’s name now that gave you my number?
I can’t say the friend but you know me now
Did they say why you can’t tell me?
No they just said not to tell
So you don’t know why you can’t tell me who?
No I do not.
So can you answer my question?
You are kinky? Into what exactly?
What do you want to know?
Are you submissive?
What experience do you have a sub?
Nothing formal, just casual encounters.
Have you ever been dominate?
Ever thought about it?
So you’re a true sub? Any fantasies?
Fantasies are earned, you don’t get to hear those.
Awful dom attitude for a sub
That would get you into a lot of trouble
With who? The sexual preference police?
No. I mean when you do find a Dom and if you get mouthy like that you’ll be punished.
I know what I like to do to mouthy subs.
A multitude of things honestly.
Please do not tell.
I don’t want to hear it.
I’m a Dom and you’re a sub.
What do you want?
Your first true dominate
How do you plan to accomplish that?
Just talking to you about it for now
Until I could learn more
What about me?
What you were into. How much you want a Dom. What you don’t like.
Do you even know me?
Not really no
What do you know about me?
Nothing. Besides that yore kinky and cute
I knew you were cute before then
Tell me about your tattoos.
What do you mean? Like what are they or what do they mean?
The one on my left wrist is of a horse. I ride horses and live on a farm where I have multiple horses. The one on my chest.. Honestly I got that when it was drunk and I’m not even sure what it means
Also I have a rainbow flag on my left hip bone because my brother is gay.
Do you drive?
That would make things easier
Make what easier?
If it works out I don’t want to have to go pick you up every time I want you here
My farm in turner.
I live here by myself since my family moved back to Montana.
I wanted to stay and of we left we would have sold the horses but I didn’t want to.
You have a farm?
It’s not completely a farm. When I say that I should probably specify. It’s just me and the horses and a ton of land. Of and two dogs.
And you live by yourself?
It’s not hard to care for the horses alone
Why were you at EL then?
We lived in auburn for a few weeks and then we moved to turner.
Now I’m by myself
How do you afford that?
My parents had a lot of money when they were around. When they died my brothers and I decided to pay off the land here with some of the money
And your family went back to Montana?
Yeah my brothers went back to the actual farm we have there and I stayed here with the horses.
Can I see the rainbow tattoo?
Yes you can. Can you send a pic of yourself as well?
Cute. Plenty of hair to pull
What are limits you have?
Do you have any pictures of your brothers?
Not on my phone no
You didn’t answer my question
Yes but there are things I’d like to know
My farm is sort of dedicated to having a sub though I do not have one.
Not what I meant. It’s the perfect place to have one
It’s remote. No ones around. It’s private.
We could do stuff outdoors, in the barn, at the pond, hell we could even do stuff on he porch.
I could even take you places on the bourses while you’re naked
I can be a lot less careful on the farm when it comes to being outdoors.
What if I don’t want to be naked on horses?
That’s fine. I have an ATV
That works just as well and it vibrates.
So it may be more fun.
Tell me who gave you my number.
I still can’t tell you.
Did they tell you why you can’t tell me?
No. They just told me not to tell. Isk why.
You should ask them.
I can ask. So does the idea of serving as a sub on a farm interest you?
I don’t know much about you.
That’s fine. I’d love for you to ask more.
I don’t trust you.
It’ll come in time.
If you proved you were real I would trust you more.
I’m sorry but doing that through texting isn’t exactly reliable.
The only way to really prove it over text is if you send a photo with your ID.
That’s kind of an odd request
That’s the only way to prove who you are.
I know but I’d really rather not
Well then you can understand my trepidation with agreeing to be a farm sub and answer those kinds of questions for someone I don’t even know is real.
I can understand that, but you won’t be agreeing to that now anyway. Anything you say here stays here cause people don’t know this about me either.
You off as such a Dom.
I’ve been told. I get asked to dom a lot, can you see why?
Yes I can. Why don’t you ever take the offer?
Just don’t feel compelled to do it?
A true sub then.
What if I don’t want to be naked on the ATV?
Well you can be clothed in restraints.
Handcuffed to me or with your arms around me.
Why? I’m going to be holding on so I don’t fall off.
You wouldn’t fall off. That’s to make sure you don’t try to get away.
Why would I be trying to get away?
I’m not sure but you can never be too careful.
Is people trying to get away a problem?
Have we ever met in person?
Unfortunately we have not.
That would have been a nice first step.
It would have. It would be fun to be your first Dom.
You know I live in Ohio right?
Thought you just went to school there
I do. I’ll be back for the summer then I’m moving here.
Well then it’ll be a fun summer
What happens if I agree to this?
If you do the first thing that happens is punishment to show your place
Behave poorly and you’ll be treated as a farm animal.
You’ll even stay with them in the barn.
You’ll be kept naked 24/7
What if I don’t want that?
Then it won’t happen
Though you’re the sub you do get to say what doesn’t happen.
I want another selfie.
I’ll send one. So what are your limits?
Why do you want to know?
That’s something I need to know.
Limits related to what?
What are your limits as a sub
Any definite limits? Face fucking? Anal?
Not hard enough to make me want to throw up, and no.
Okay well they won’t happen. How good at sucking dick are you?
Anything else you won’t do?
Blood or piss play.
That won’t happen either
How do you feel about being slapped or whipped?
I don’t mind it but I’ve never had whipping experience.
Then you will learn
It will hurt but you’ll take it and you’ll thank me.
What do you do with mouthy subs?
Do you really wanna know?
Not really but I thought I’d ask. My roommate took my laptop from me so I’m going to bed soon.
They took you laptop from you?
I need to sleep.
It’s a lot of stuff to tell. The worst punishment I have is to cage you in the barn while being boynd
Being placed in a stockade outdoors. Being leased naked on the porch. Being bound and gagged in the basement. Restrained and hung by your wrists in the barn.
Another one could be to tie your hands together and attach the rope to a saddle on my horse and make you walk behind the bourse while I ride it.
That sounds more like medieval torture.
It could be I guess
Too bad for me I like to talk shit.
You’ll spend a lot of time gagged then
And when do I get a selfie?
When do I get one of you?
I don’t have selfies on my phone. I can’t afford the memory space. That was a fb pic I sent earlier.
Okay then I’ll send one in place for some information.
Tell me what your biggest sexual turn on is. Tell me about one fantasy you have is
I told you you earn fantasies.
And you earn selfies.
I think an exchange would be fair.
Looks like I’ll deal without a selfie for now.
You’re stubborn. I’ll break that from your attitude.
Good fucking luck.
By the end of your time with me you’ll be used to not getting your way. Oh and you’ll be used to being naked too
Have you done this before?
Yes. The last one was a cheerleader who was mouthy like you. She’s not mouthy anymore I promise you that
Do I know her?
I don’t usually give out info of past subs but her name was Lexi and she went to EL too and is a high school senior this year.
But she doesn’t go to EL anymore I don’t think.
I don’t know any Lexis.
Well she used to go to EL. She was as mouthy as you but after being kept in a stockade for 5 hours one day she had a change of heart.
What if I want to be one of those pampered subs that wears nice lingerie and high heels and gets tied up with silk ribbons?
Is that what you want?
I want to hear the answer to the what if.
If that’s the case then you behave and you’ll be treated that way. Misbehave and what you want won’t have much meaning to me.
What do you like, what’s your fantasy?
You get to know mind and I don’t get to know yours?
I don’t trust you.
To do what?
My fantasy is to have a sub that I train from being a mouthy brat to s well behaved slave girl who will do what I say when I say.
What’s your goal with a well behaved slave girl? Is that the end all be all? Just to have one?
Well once she is well behaved if she is open to bringing in another girl to be trained then that would be what I’d want to have happen
If she isn’t?
Then she will remain a slave until she wishes to return to normal life.
Do you expect this person to live with you 24/7?
That’s negotiable but that would be the preference.
Then look for someone else that isn’t even possible.
Like I said that would be negotiable.
What do you plan to do to gain my trust?
First of all when you get back we will meet somewhere public.
What do you know about me?
Besides that you’re submissive, mouthy, and sexy? Not much.
Yet you have a crush on me?
Crush isn’t the right word. You’re my type though. Mouthy submissives are my thing.
How did you hear about me?
Saw you in the halls at EL all the time. I asked a friend about you. He told me you were submissive, yes I knew that when I messaged you, and that you were cool.
My junior year then.
That’s probably about when I asked about you yeah
You’ve had a crush for 4 years and now, just now, you text me?
Not a crush. I’ve known of you. I was preoccupied with Lexi.
She was a freshman when you two were doing your thing?
Yes she was. She considered herself a sub when she was 13 which was before I met her.
Holy shit dude that’s not cool.
I know. I was a senior she was a freshman it was wrong
Yeah like really fucking not okay.
I know it wasn’t okay. That doesn’t happen anymore. I actually prefer older girls now.
Jesus Christ. I’m going to bed.
Can I ask you something first?
I told you a fantasy right?
So since I told you one why don’t you tell me one.
I’ve told you no. You gave me one, thanks, but I’m not telling you anything. What I am going however, is going to bed.
Then answer one other question.
What’s your biggest turn on as a sub? What would be your number oen thing you’d want out of your Dom be?
That’s a sub-par question to, “What is your fantasy?” maybe I’ll answer it in the morning. Goodnight.
Do I get an answer?
Okay that’s fine the
Not fair to me but fine
I like how sassy you are. It’s actually kind of sexy
It’s not sass. It’s a literal: fuck off.
Why do you say that?
You’re freaking me out.
And yesterday I wasn’t?
Oh no, you still were.
Then why not freak out last night?
I was just not you.
I don’t think John Alexson is your real name, I’m suspicious that you’re using a texting app, you won’t tell me who our mutual is.
I can understand why you’d feel that way
If you literally told me who the mutual is that would clear off so many levels of doubt.
They’re afraid you’d get mad
I need to know.
Why is there such a need to know?
Because I know their character, not yours.
That doesn’t make any sense
It means I know who they are, I can judge if I would trust their friends. I don’t know you, thus I don’t trust you.
Okay that makes sense
If it makes sense, can you please tell me who the friend is?
Ugh? Is my concern for safety that much of a nuisance?
No but going agains what a friend said is
I’m not going to get mad at them if I find out. I would have preferred a, “Hey! So-and-so gave me your number…” intro text.
Well I’m sorry
It’s been a weird night. Scrolling down through my blog I decided to check in on a friend I haven’t spoken to in a year. Sometimes he updated his photos and posted new ones; he was a photographer, after all. Sometimes they were other women and it hurt in a strange way. Captions about how they were fantastic to work with, sitting there on a bed clad in their underwear with flat stomachs, long hair, and big bountiful breasts that toppled over the top of their lacey bras. They were only a limited amount of the photos, but how jealous could one person get when they were sitting alone dreaming about a future that was never going to happen?
I saw something familiar. That was odd, so odd. A wall of skateboards lining from one side of the photo to the other, from the top to the bottom: skateboards. It was posted October of 2015, captioned 2014. I knew those skateboards because I had a similar picture just like it. I had been holding my breath. Almost one year after we had spoken and here in front of me was a remnant of that time together. I remembered he had taken photographs of me and I asked myself, “Did he have those too?”
Scrolling down the next picture unrelated, beautiful in its own way but not of the time we spent together; I thought that it had ended. Following to the next and suddenly the pink bathroom, dim lighting, and woven styled texture of a white motel towel came into view. Standing, back facing the camera, front facing the wall my body was standing there. Scrolling down again two more pictures came up against the black background of the blog. The bright pink background of the bathroom again shining through like a distinct feature. Now it was my hand, pulling the towel down over my breasts creating their distinct shape, then a tight fist clenching the towel in what? Agitation, anger, nervousness? What would the person looking at this picture think? What would they think of this third photograph of my legs, peaking through the towel as its being pulled away by the tightly clutched hand?
What beautiful aesthetic photos. They would look fantastic, sitting in a grunge collection of pastels mixed with neons and other half-naked women posing for something classy but not erotic. Naked but not quite. And while everyone is concerned over whether the theme of the picture fits the theme of their lives, I quietly ask, who knows the memory?
There was so much more behind those photos than a retro bathroom with two sinks and a white girl wrapped in a white towel. How many people know that the girl in the photo, me, was nervous beyond meaning? How scared I was in a good way, of how I would look in these pictures that man was taking. He wasn’t making money off of his photos, but I looked at him like a professional I was lucky to work with. I had anticipated on the pictures happening but I never imagined the feeling of it. The two of us in the tiny nook of the motel room.
Both in towels, just out of the shower we had taken together he had lined me up for the shot. Watching him sitting in the corner, his towel deftly twisted around his waist with nothing underneath. Line up the camera, click, and take the shot. He would shimmy over across the small distance between us and grab my hand gently to move it somewhere else. Whispering lightly to stand still while he moved the towel edges to show a bit more skin; telling me to relax. My heart was beating fast. In a special way, the moment was intimate. A sacred memory between two momentary lovers who found themselves in a motel room in rural Virginia, each of us 300 miles from home.
Suddenly seeing these photos now published on his page means he has seen them. Now, a year later, he has gone through the memories of our time together and spent time on them. Gone back and edited, revised, and must have, at least a little bit, please just a little bit, thought about when we were together. He has a girlfriend now, she’s seen those pictures of me; she must have. What did she ask? What did he say? Did he call me a girl who he met with that one time during that year? Or did he tell her I was just a good friend who he didn’t talk to anymore? How lucky would I be if the memory nestled in his brain the same way it had for me? Three days and two nights spent with someone who at the time was more than a friend, but a spiritual lover who turned the time from a simple recollection to a passive secret. It was never secret on purpose, but it never came up in conversation.
What a bizarre feeling. I was so glad to see those photos again and know that he knew I still existed, but everyone could see them. Everyone knew. That intimate weekend now turned public and everyone was invited to join the sweet memory.