Do not think me a standstill. Do not name me stability. I am as elusive to capture as a breeze that passes over your skin. As changeable as the sea. Should you ever hope to know me, remember: I am a goddess. Plan accordingly.

Goddess.

God-dess.

Say it, aloud. Isn’t there something addictive about the word? You utter it once, you utter it again, the syllables slide over your tongue like petals closing and opening—a yearning your mouth never easily forgets. I am that yearning too. I am everything you have yearned for. And everything you fear as well.

Now. Proceed.

Find in me whatever secret you seek.

all stories worth knowing / begin in the night / begin with the darkness / begin with the dirt / what is it about her / that invokes devotion / she is terrible / yet she is grace / vermillion hands / nightmare smile / pools of blood that spread like light / she reaches out / destroys devils / destroys angels / even the ability / to destroy her own makers / necklace of heads / rattling skulls / make music of the unthinkable / music you have never heard before / music like ruin / music like oblivion / music like what rises underneath / the world only she could bequeath / a world so hopeful / a world so sweet / but the tragedy always / all she can create / is a world not meant for her.

Your skin as gossamer, as rivers, as streams

Your voice as every melody unheard by human ears

Your eyes brighter than a billion suns, too bright to look upon, oh

mother--what can I say. I do not know how this can be.

I do not know how any god

can be so impossibly soft.

Now I have recognized you,

never again

shall i see a star as an untouchable thing.