I never noticed how heartbroken i was until now. I never noticed how hurt i was, never thought i would be left off in such a bad situation. 

 I can barely distinguish where I am right now. 

It's like i've been unconscious for a few hours now.. maybe even a day?

I look around me & all i see is tissues, dirt from the floor I'm sleeping on & a few boxes of empty cigarettes. 

 I try to open my eyes heavily .  

My vision is kind of blurry, i look at my clothes , they're messed up.

Where have i been? 

Slowly my memory comes back as I remember running away from home, after being assaulted by my uncle. 

More i try to remember , more my memory come backs to me. 

Alec breaking up with me , my drunk uncle, the assault, me trying to run away, the cigarette box i stole with the bottles of alcohol , running away.

I think i drank too much.

I think i smoked more than i should have. 

I think i cried more than my eyes could handle.

I think i lost too much.

Too much time,

too many people.

My life has no value any longer. 

For some reasons, i knew my life would end up in the worst ways.

After my uncle legally took me away from the orphanage to work for him, i was still young, he would tell me to stay in my room and sometimes would give me chores, small ones indeed but still, i never got to live as a child

i knew i would end up running away and finishing off in some random road. 

And here i am.

Time goes by and it's already getting late.

It's been a few hours & I'm still sitting in the position. 

What else can i do?  I have no home, no one to talk to. 

Not even a boyfriend to run to and throw all my fears into his arms.

All I remember is Alec telling me he had a good time, & that i had a good shaped body, but he got bored.

He used me. No, he used my body for his pleasure.  I thought our relationship would be more than some hookups.

I guess all that " i love you, i always do, i always will " was just a key to access to what he really wanted. 

Pleasure. 

I feel used, betrayed,  like an idiot. 

I let him use me because of how foolish i was.  Foolish that there would be someone out there to really care about me. I guess i was wrong.

I'm just a good looking girl no one likes for who she is, but how she looks.

And as if all of this wasn't enough, there was my dipsomaniac* pervert of an uncle.

He would come back befuddled* every night.  If I would be lucky enough, he'd be drunk enough not to be able to hurt me. Why wouldn't i run away from him? Or call the cops?

The only reason is because he's in a gang*.  He has people watching me from everywhere. 

He's their leader. 

I guess my father was too. He resigned when he met my mom. He left all these dangerous people when he saw all the love and kindness my mother had. 

They died in a car crash.

That's what my uncle used to tell me while being drunk. 

I was " lucky enough to survive the car accident " & was brought to the orphanage. That's what they say.

I don't think it was luck. Sometimes i wish I hadn't survived the accident & would've died.  It would have been better than dying over & over again every single day.

Not on only the outside , but on the inside too. This time I couldn't take it any longer.  I had to run away. 

I don't think he'll notice it until a few days, as much as he's drunk & unconscious. 

He'll probably kill me.

I hope so. It'd be better than assaulting me then beating me up every single day.

 It's getting darker and I'm still a little bit unconscious. I see an old creepy man walking towards me. 

I feel vulnerable & can do nothing about it.

I feel him getting closer with the creepiest look ever, when i see a tall silhouette of a really well maintained man behind him. All i can see is his silhouette because of the dark.  

He punches the old man who falls on the ground.

Afterwards everything turns to black.

 I never noticed how heartbroken i was until now. I never noticed how hurt i was, never thought i would be left off in such a bad situation. 

 I can barely distinguish where I am right now. 

It's like i've been unconscious nfor a few hours now.. maybe even a day

I look around me & all i see is tissues, dirt from the floor I'm sleeping on & a few boxes of empty cigarettes. 

 I try to open my eyes heavily .  

My vision is kind of blurry, i look at my clothes , they're messed up.

Where have i been? 

Slowly my memory comes back as I remember running away from home, after being assaulted by my uncle. 

More i try to remember , more my memory come backs to me. 

Alec breaking up with me , my drunk uncle, the assault, me trying to run away, the cigarette box i stole with the bottles of alcohol , running away.

I think i drank too much.

I think i smoked more than i should have. 

I think i cried more than my eyes could handle.

I think i lost too much.

Too much time,

too many people.

My life has no value any longer. 

For some reasons, i knew my life would end up in the worst ways.

After my uncle legally took me away from the orphanage to work for him, i was still young, he would tell me to stay in my room and sometimes would give me chores, small ones indeed but still, i never got to live as a child

i knew i would end up running away and finishing off in some random road. 

And here i am.

Time goes by and it's already getting late.

It's been a few hours & I'm still sitting in the position. 

What else can i do?  I have no home, no one to talk to. 

Not even a boyfriend to run to and throw all my fears into his arms.

All I remember is Alec telling me he had a good time, & that i had a good shaped body, but he got bored.

He used me. No, he used my body for his pleasure.  I thought our relationship would be more than some hookups.

I guess all that " i love you, i always do, i always will " was just a key to access to what he really wanted. 

Pleasure. 

I feel used, betrayed,  like an idiot. 

I let him use me because of how foolish i was.  Foolish that there would be someone out there to really care about me. I guess i was wrong.

I'm just a good looking girl no one likes for who she is, but how she looks.

And as if all of this wasn't enough, there was my dipsomaniac* pervert of an uncle.

He would come back befuddled* every night.  If I would be lucky enough, he'd be drunk enough not to be able to hurt me. Why wouldn't i run away from him? Or call the cops?

The only reason is because he's in a gang*.  He has people watching me from everywhere. 

He's their leader. 

I guess my father was too. He resigned when he met my mom. He left all these dangerous people when he saw all the love and kindness my mother had. 

They died in a car crash.

That's what my uncle used to tell me while being drunk. 

I was " lucky enough to survive the car accident " & was brought to the orphanage. That's what they say.

I don't think it was luck. Sometimes i wish I hadn't survived the accident & would've died.  It would have been better than dying over & over again every single day.

Not on only the outside , but on the inside too. This time I couldn't take it any longer.  I had to run away. 

I don't think he'll notice it until a few days, as much as he's drunk & unconscious. 

He'll probably kill me.

I hope so. It'd be better than assaulting me then beating me up every single day.

 It's getting darker and I'm still a little bit unconscious. I see an old creepy man walking towards me. 

I feel vulnerable & can do nothing about it.

I feel him getting closer with the creepiest look ever, when i see a tall silhouette of a really well maintained man behind him. All i can see is his silhouette because of the dark.  

He punches the old man who falls on the ground.

Afterwards everything turns to black.