The beginning hurts sometimes
A boy. He was my crush. Still Is my crush. It was summer 13. Where in a summer camp I met him.
Where it truly began
Truly you were nothing more than a cute model. Truly I was nothing more than a Asian girl with ok looks. I was short and fat. We became friends. But not on the first day, more like the 5th. But truly there were moments where I truly thought you might possibly like me, the fat small Asian girl.
You were 3 years older. When I told my friends about you, they laughed saying how silly it is to dream that.
You asked me about my weight. I could say nothing more than, "take a guess." Praying in my head you wouldn't think of a huge number and make fun of me. You said 35 kg, I wanted to lie and say yes. But I knew I shouldn't do that. After a few guesses you said 43kg and I lied and said yes. I'll tell you now you were off by 3kg. Now that I think about it you were probably being nice when you said 35 kg.
When I said I was ugly you said you're cute don't say that. Thanks that doesn't make this better. You treat me as a sister always stealing my flip flops and making jokes.
You always played card games with your friends. I never thought to come and play. The last day I came to your room to say bye to your roommate and I saw that you were playing cards with another friend. It wasn't you who invited me to play but the other friend. All I said was, "Maybe another day." I knew there would be no other day.
I got your wechat on the last day of camp. The day I last thought I'd ever see you.
Little did I ever know or could ever possibly imagine we would meet again. And not only that but in school. In America. You came to our school. You were a student in the same high school I was in. Of course this was 2 years later. And I don't know if you recognized me. I didn't change. My face and height and weight were all the same.
I tried to walk in the path you went but, never did I get your attention. One day, we held eye contact. Just that one faithful day, you looked up saw me gave me a smile and looked away.
Yes. You were popular. Yes little after that day you got a girlfriend. Yes, you went to a good college after that. But I know you recognized me right? I later found out you got married and got a merry life with your high school girlfriend.
So just to clarify if I ever see you again, yes I remember you and summer 13. Yes, I did wish I was more than a sister to you. And thank you for being in my summer 13.
Ever so sadly
based on my true story