This is my first attempt at writing a book. The narration is all about my experiences of life, professional and otherwise.

I am neither an authority on art nor on the art of negotiations. My learnings from the real life out of all the negotiations that I have been involved into, articulates the art of negotiation. It sometimes takes the shape of ‘science of the mind’, and at other times, it is ‘an art with pleasantness’.

I firmly believe that a successful negotiation is in finding the invisible middle path, which usually is unseen at the start of a negotiation since most negotiations run parallel with emotions. We are a modern race of people, who use the emotional approach in most situations, depending on which side of the fence we are sitting. Most of the times, we do not even realise that we are emotionally trying to control a situation, since, it is easier, than finding the rational arguments to support a negotiation.

I will, quite often, slip into talking about the areas of negotiation which were often faced by me in the commercial and the viable world, and would, very little, dwell into the negotiated personal lives that we all get so used to living; once again, without realising that our emotional approach, peeps out from our weak spots.

We, the human race, negotiate our way, almost daily, through personal issues of our lives, but more often and intensely so, when we get involved in striking commercial deals in business processes. Through corridors of time, I have negotiated my way through many commercial situations, and would be sharing here, the acquired art of negotiating with pleasantness, yet, with a sharp edge over the other’s circumstances.

The reader will have to appreciate that, in order to project an entire stream of steps and strategies of a transaction, I will have to adopt a transaction in my narrative. I therefore, will adopt a ‘sell side’ mandate, rather than a ‘buy side’, since, convincing a ‘buy side’ about the merits of the ‘sell side’, and successfully negotiating a transaction, is far more tricky and sensitive, and is a bigger challenge by far, in comparison.

My Chapters contain some real life sightings of issues which are very important to transactions and negotiations, to be noticed and not to be allowed to slip by, missing your attention.

CHAPTER 1 - HOW TO START A NEGOTIATION SITTING

CHAPTER 2 – NEVER TRY AND ANTICIPATE THE OUTCOME

CHAPTER 3 – HOW TO NEGOTIATE THE MEAN BENDS

CHAPTER 4 – ALWAYS HAVE WINDOWS OPEN FOR FRESH AIR

CHAPTER 5 – DO NOT REACH A STAGE OF NO RETURN

CHAPTER 6 – BE EMPHATIC BUT WITHOUT ANGER

CHAPTER 7 – RECOGNISE YOUR SHORTCOMINGS

CHAPTER 8 – BE A GOOD LOSER AT SHARP BENDS

CHAPTER 9 – SEE AN OPPORTUNITY IN EVERY CRISIS (DURING TALKS)

CHAPTER 10 – GIVE SOME TO GAIN A LOT

CHAPTER 11 – BE A GOOD POKER PLAYER

CHAPTER 12 – SEAL YOUR GAINS AND DO NOT WAGER THEM

CHAPTER 13 – COME PREPARED FOR THE MOST UNEXPECTED

CHAPTER 14 – NEVER LOSE YOUR SMILE AND AFFABLE SELF

CHAPTER 15 – DO NOT GLOAT OVER YOUR SCORES

CHAPTER 16 – THE DOCUMENTATION IS THE SOUL OF NEGOTIATING

CHAPTER 17 – ALWAYS ENSURE YOU END WITH A WARM HANDSHAKE

The first lesson to learn, is to dress formal but yet in a warmth exuding attire. Dressing to kill is always a disaster. The simplest of clothing, with an air of friendliness, will go a long way. Remember, the journey through the negotiation process is usually long and arduous.

Never forget to wear your biggest and the best smile !

Such meetings are usually attended by the stakeholders, their lawyers, accountants, counsels, and if a cross border negotiation is underway, then the domestic counsels of the relevant global territories are usually present. They are usually the most aggressive of the lot.

All meetings for negotiation start with a bit of a nervous feeling, more of a feeling of anticipation and anxiety. Therefore, introduce yourself to all who are attending the meeting. Never let the feeling, that you are in company of strangers creep in. It increases the anxiety. Therefore, it is essential to have an informal introduction preliminaries, with small talks over coffee. This gives you the feel of the aggressive ones and the reasonable ones. That helps you plan your talks and strategize as to whom to address what; a very important thing on the negotiation table.

Seating at the (usually) large conference table is also a strategy. You will often have eye contact with the stakeholders, but will equally have to eye contact their counsels and advisors. Therefore, always seat yourself in the centre of your side of the row, surrounded, immediately next, by your most supporting aid, followed by the aids in descending order of support. It is most useful to have your own personal assistant who is used to taking notes of vital importance, available close by. The physical proximity of the on-going note taking of the proceedings is very important for your reference during the process of talks, and therefore, the person should be placed either behind you or within ear-shot.

One of the inane but vital seating strategy is to avoid, if possible, the blower of the air-conditioner facing you or above your head. It freezes your face and body and the brain’s attention is diverted to addressing the cold. You cannot afford such diversions.

After the initial introductions, there is usually a quiet, when everyone (who knows it) strategizes his seating. This is the best time to concentrate on your own pattern and seating, which should be in a manner that gives you (the negotiator) support and confidence.

Before starting the talks, remove if possible, all beverages from the table, except for water ( if unavoidable). I have witnessed a shower of coffee blown out of a mouth that suddenly split into a peel of laughter. It was embarrassing and a disaster. You do not want that happening at your meeting.

Once the seating are done, throats cleared and trouser seats adjusted, everyone pretends to look relaxed, while waiting for one of you to start with a de-brief. This is where the words start rolling and thoughts start pouring. Every word, every gesture, every body language is speaking volumes. This is the beginning of the civilised sparring and the test of your Art of Negotiation.

Once the seating are done, throats cleared and trouser seats adjusted, everyone pretends to look relaxed, while waiting for one of you to start with a de-brief. This is where the words start rolling and thoughts start pouring. Every word, every gesture, every body language is speaking volumes. This is the beginning of the civilised sparring and the test of your Art of Negotiation.

Usually, negotiations do not start immediately. The list of issues in preliminary term sheet are spelt out and your attention should be focused on the reactions of the participants on every issue. Most of the times, you will find people scribbling notes on their pads for reacting. These are usually the people who will be the aggressive defenders of their stands.

Never pick the most sensitive areas to discuss at the outset. They can aggravate the atmosphere and could be the mood killer. Always pick areas which are smaller in intensity and easier to resolve. Keep such issues in the outer ring and move slowly inwards towards the more serious and solid areas for negotiation. It is always better to leave a few outer ring issues pending, since they can come handy, when some of the inner ring issues smoulder and the teams need some lighter issues to be resolved, to cool the static in the room.

All the while, keep your attention focused on finding resolution to every issue, without predicting their outcome. Most of the times, the outcomes, are never the finally agreed outcomes on issues. They seem resolved, but when viewed in light of other issues, the resolutions are revisited and the outcomes change. Therefore, even a resolved issue is yet a potential review matter until the entire transaction is negotiated and closed.

Do not pitch fork issues in a hurry or be impatient to nail the other guy. You are inevitably leaving your soft spots open to attack. So stay busy guarding them. It is better to save a loss than gain a home run. Never get into an obligated situation by accepting a friendly surrender on small issues, while they are preparing to nail you on the big ones. These are the mean bends that you should be constantly watching out for.

Many a times, a smart negotiator at the other end, will make you feel victorious at the beginning, which is usually on issues of little importance. But this can often lead you to put your guard down and relax your grip. I caution you against this tactic. Do not feel overjoyed, nor obligated to the relenting attitude of the other side. This is precisely what they want (to loosen your grip) and you will, unwittingly, help them achieve it. There should be no sense of obligation because they relented on some of the smaller issues. Consider it as your strength of negotiation. It is always better to stay confident and take the high-ground, without showing arrogance or losing that best friendly smile. Do not ever predict the outcome. There can be many slips or planned decoys in the path, which will veer you away from your intended arguments. By now, the heat on the negotiation table has started, and you now have to, tread…quick and nimble.