I opened my eyes to see the sunlight streaming through the window cracks, burning my eyes and causing me to flinch, as you see, I'm not quite a morning person. I can feel myself getting sick of life more and more everyday. School is getting closer and closer and I'm still not mentally nor Physically prepared.

         After my grandfather's death, dad had to move to a new town to take care of the stationary grandpa left behind, he now owns it. And well, I got two younger sisters ( Serena and Madison) Serena -or as I like to call her Rena- is 12, Madison is my cutie little pie and she is 4.

      I'm very anxious about this entire thing. It's just that I'm not a big fan of sudden changes, they sometimes frighten me because you never know what to expect.

    Anyways, I'm going to have to try to be optimistic about this whole thing and take it as a new exciting adventure, hopefully my life will get better after all the shit I've been through.

    I've already made my mind as to what I'm ought to do here: Study, hide and stay out of the way. yup, that's the plan. I don't need any attention, I don't want anything that can bring out the wounds I'm still in the process of healing. 

    Mom, she has always kept bugging me about how proud she'd be if I was on the cheer-leading squad or anything such as it is. But that, my friend, is one of the many reasons I intend not to do that. I don't need her pride, even if I did, I can't even get it.. I hate that woman after what she did. She used to be my world and hero, but now, as I remember her, she is nothing but a lost woman who left her family for no rational reason.

    A tear rolls down my dry face as I remember how Maddison looks at kids her age with their mothers. She deserves better. That's where I come in, I always try my best to help her with everything and do to her all the things I wished my mom could've done to me. She combs my hair while I sit still enjoying the sensation of her fingers gathering my hair together. Her beautiful voice keeps vibrating in the room as I get more and more addicted to it. The atmosphere is lovely and comforting. she turns me around and hugs me tightly whispering how much she loves me as I bury my face into the depth of the addicting smell of the hair of hers. oh, don't I wish. Damn it, I get so vulnerable and weak when it comes to her.She had the guts to leave us and wound us all, and I utterly hate her with every ounce within me.

     Dad, he had been so strong through it all. He never gave in and cried, not in front of us. I love his strength but I hate how hurt I know he is but who am I to speak when I'm the most depressed person in this household.

     I love my family and I'm going to do my best to keep us together and mend our wounds, even when mine haven't even began to heal.

      Despite the fact that I'm not a morning person, I decided to make out the best of it and enjoy my last day of summer vacation. I woke up struggling and trying to open my eyes due to the sunlight that might actually blind me, Rena's voice could be heard all the way from the kitchen downstairs

"MADISON !!!! LEAVE MY CEREALS ALONE!!!"

and so does Madison's "DADDY!!!! SERENA IS YELLING AT ME!!!" 
what a typical morning to the Wallaces.

     After taking the refreshing shower of everyday, I plug in my earphones as I listen to 'Demons' by Imagine Dragons. boy do they rock.I bid goodbye to my dad after taking a granola bar, I get out for my usual jog.

    Jogging is one of my everyday activities, since it helps me get rid of my stress and depression, and the lovely breeze of the weather just makes it a whole lot better. Just as 'you lost me' began playing, the words sinking in and I started to feel the tears forming in my eyes and my vision got blurry because of the memories that started flashing in my head. Ronald, mom, bullying.. When all of a sudden I bump into to someone and fall right on my back.

"Are you okay ??" he asked, concern obvious in his tone, as I start rubbing my eyes.

"I'm fine" I said  "I didn't watch where I was headed, I'm sorry" I smiled sheepishly

    When I finally got to see clearly again I saw beautiful hazel eyes staring right at me with a warm smile tugged on the beautiful angel's face.

"It's okay, as long as you're not injured" he offered me a hand and I accepted it willingly.

"Uh, n-no, I-I'm fine" I stuttered "thanks" I couldn't help but stare at his angelic features. He had the perfect skin tone, along with a captivating smile and sharp, yet not too sharp, jawline. His clothes seemed to be the type where you'd think he's a nerd, but a cool nerd might  I add. 

"okay, uh.." He said, obviously wanting me to tell him my name.

'oh! I'm-" I began introducing myself before the thought came falling down on me like millions tons of cold ice. 

   I stared at him wide eyed, with my thoughts roaming in my head, the memories suffocating me and rendering me speechless.

   I'm talking to a boy! I AM TALKING TO A BOY!!!

  I haven't really talked or even looked at one, ever since that unfortunate span of events, since the incident, and that's when I started running away, scurrying past everything on full speed.

  He tried calling me and telling me to wait but I was far too afraid and anxious to even look at his face.

  I stopped abruptly after disappearing from his sight. I needed to get my thoughts straight. this cannot and will not happen again, for this one incident has control over me and over my actions and I can't help but stay under it, but no matter what happens I'll never put myself into a situation to be asked about it, because it'll be my denied truth.

"Ashley!" 
Oh god, is it time?

"You got to wake up or else you'll be late!" I hear dad call from out the door. 
"I'm up, dad." I say grudgingly.
I cannot believe that today is the first day of school for me. too much to take in.

"DON'T TAKE LONG!!!" and that's the last I've heard of him before he ran down the stairs.

I looked at the clock and the time was 7:20 am, which gives me only about 30 minutes to get ready. I quickly got off the bed and got my lazy ass in the shower, and got dressed in a blue blouse and white shorts with matching vans.

As usual I didn't have time to eat breakfast so I grabbed a granola bar and quickly hopped in the car.

"Goodmorning pumpkin" dad says genuinely with a warm smile, "Morning dad" I reply rather calmly.

"Morning Ash, you ready for your first day of school ?" I heard the sweet voice of Madison calling me from the"yup I sure am" I said sarcastically. "Why are you up so early??" I asked " you don't go to school"

"wellllll, I wanted to be the last to hug you and kiss you when get out for school, just for luck" she replied almost instantly, and that was one of the most things that I loved about her, her sweetness.

"awww I love you Maddyyy" I said with an attempt to hug her but failed when Rena tore as apart and said "Dad, let's go, NOW".

Stupid Serena, always jealous of our love.

The ride to school was calm - while I sure wasn't- it took us about 13-15 minuntes to arrive there, I bid goodbyes to dad and Madison while getting out of the car to be faced with the place I'll be spending my next two years in.

It looked like any other school would, nothing new, except for the fact that it was packed with people, all looking so vivid and alive while I looked like a dead zombie, what a great first impression to make.

Serena quickly ran there and started talking to people while I, the most reasonable girl, plugged in my earphones and started rocking to Cold Play.

Yup. Living the life.

I wasn't actually planning on making friends here, I didn't even try to talk to anyone, except of course the principal just to get my schedule, my first class of the day was with Miss Picket 'English Literature' I was kind of excited since I was into reading, A LOT. As I entered the class, avoiding the teacher, she grabbed me quickly as I was trying to escape. " AAAAAH Miss Ashley Wallace, am I right??" she said with an extremley loud voice, "umm, yes ma'am" I said awkwardly.

She cleared her throat, uh oh, "CLASS, LISTEN UP" she bagan, double uh oh, everyone is looking !!! 
"There's really no need for the hassle Mrs Picket, I can just sit down" I tried shutting her up.
But she just shrug me off.
"This is Ashley Wallace, a new student who just moved here, make sure to treat her well" I was speechless, I never liked attention, never did, never will 
"Miss Wallace" she said interrupting my thoughts 
"Please take your seat, right next to Drake over there" she gestured to the fourth seat in the middle row, oh well.

The class went by quickly as I was distracted by the so called drake staring at me, the whole damn class, he made me quite uncomfortable.
I quickly grabbed my stuff and scurried outside trying to find my locker. In the process of my search I bumped into someone.
"OMG OMG OMG I'm so sorry !!! are you okay???" a sweet lovely girly voice called.

"I'm fine, sorry I didn't see you coming." I tried to escape the conversation with a possible-to-be-friend person since I didn't really want any. Buuttt to my luck the universe wasn't on my side today "Heyyyy, you're the new girl right??" as I looked at her, she was deadly beautiful, pretty green eyes and soft blond hair hanging to the end of her spine, I was stunned.

"HELLOOOO" she tried calling as she waved off my gaze, 
"umm, yeah, I mean yes I am" I replied still in shock, 
" well, I'm Amy and you are??" she said while extending her hand for a shake.
"I'm Ashley" I replied smiling at her

"So what do you think of the school so far??"

"Well, I haven't seen anything yet so, I can't actually say anything"

"I guess that's my job, I'm gonna be your guide for the day" she said happily, her enthusiasm is suffocating.

"There's no need, I can do it on my own" I tried to escape.

"No, I will be your guide, period." she said firmly.

"Alright. sure, bossy pants"

"no need" she said while holding my hand.

As we were walking in the school halls, awkward silence fell upon us which happned to be broke by Amy herself "got any intrests???"

"Interests??" I asked confused

"you have to join a club you know" she stated " so what do you like to do??"

"I like Photography, that's pretty much it"

"it's okay one club'll do" she squeaked "afternoon classes are canceled on the first day in order for students to join clubs and choose their activities"

"Photography it is" I said.

Signing to the photography club didn't take long, so I seized the chance and quickly ran away before Amy could catch up with me.

phew that's a relief.

Now I need to make it through the school doors, to get some fresh air. As I quickly ran through the halls, I suddenly felt myself crashing into something or rather someone, WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME? I think, exasperated.

As I look up to see who it is, my jaw fell right down to my knees.

Uh oh.