Death is around us. It is everywhere you look. You hear about it; see it on the news. You just never expect it to happen to someone in your life, someone you're close to. It hits you in the face like a blast of cold water. Then, once your face dries, the agony sets in and you're left with the harsh truth that you are now utterly and truly alone. 

December 16th, 2013, it was Monday, I hate Mondays. This day I will surely never forget as long as I live. It started off like any other day. In this nothing falters, my alarm goes off at 8:15, I the hit snooze, I always hit the snooze, I'm to lazy to get up when the first alarm goes off. By the time my 8:30 alarm goes off I pull myself from my bed, because it's what I always do, like clockwork.

I was at work for two hours when the call came. I said my usual hi, how can I help you and that's when I heard the first sound of sobs. I heard about ever fifth word that Mrs. Kennedy said but the point was clear. Car Accident. Adam. Dead. I just stared blankly at the phone once I had put it back on the receiver, I slightly recall my boss paging me but I couldn't give myself enough motivation to care. My Adam, was dead, gone like that, and I didn't even get to say I love you one last time. Five years of my life, my wonderful life just ripped away from because some idiot couldn't get off his phone for two seconds. It hits me suddenly and I'm on the floor. Catatonic is the word to best describe the current state I was in that day, recalling the day I'm sure there were people who were trying to get my attention, to get me to say anything. I couldn't speak, for once, the words that never failed to come have finally left me. 

After what felt like a lifetime my savior came in the form arms that felt just like my Adam's. They weren't, it was Mr. Kennedy who was the spitting image of Adam just slightly older. Looking at him I realize I've been selfish in my thoughts not even thinking of the tragedy that his family is going through and here he was taking care of me. It is I who should be taking care of that whole family. 

"I'm sorry," I told him. I can tell he wants to reply, but he waits. After we arrive to my home he sits and ponders before just blurting out what he wants to say. As if debating on if he should say what is on his mind. 

"It is me who is sorry sweetie. You were Adam's everything, and I know this will hurt but know he had every intention of making you his wife, please though for him and for me, don't let this consume you," said Mr. Kennedy. With those words I shook my head because that is all the strength I had left to do. I let myself into my home, into my bed and shut out the world for hopefully what will be, forever.