hello fellow immigrants...

Well hello there, now i have your attention id like to tell you a story...if your a fellow illegal immigrant like me you'll understand the struggle of being a drug dealer...so im gonna bring you through my life and the hole i traveled through to get into the United States.

My life started in the back of  a van heading towards the United States. My name is José and im from mexico, i was raised by 7 transvestites.My first adventure was when i was 7 and my mum told me we where moving to another country?England... i didn't know where that was so i was abit scared. My mum drove us to the sea side so i thought England was a sea side but actually we had to swim 200,000 miles to England...on the way i fought some sharks no biggie i also made out with a few stingrays, Anyway when we got to shore ,everything was so strange. All the people were riding walruses and had fancy cigarettes...But we moved to a place called Essex, it was a bit strange because all the kids were 'hard', but i bought a pair of huaraches and a hype tracksuit so they think i'm alright now.

As i got older my mum made me go to school, it was terrible as i was the only 7 year old drug dealer in my class. As i moved up the drug pyramid i progressed onto selling rulers and crayons...the only problem was the 7 year old drug smuggling police...i thought they were onto me but they just wanted to buy some rubbers. As i was on my way home i came across a homeless man called Peter Griffin he was a bit strange becuase his chin looks like ballbags i started to chat with him and he told me about how he has a talking dog? he must be mental so i gave him some cocaine and left.