To the most Imperious and Illustrious Abbadon, Section Chief, Human Possession.

Dear Sir,

It is with great humility and groveling before your hooves that I submit a rebuttal to your rating of “Failure” regarding my assignment to possess one Miley Cyrus, mortal female. While I do understand that the original plan was to undermine her career to the extent that not only would her fans lose faith in her, but she would eventually turn to drugs and/or alcohol and suffer an untimely demise, I feel I have at least partly succeeded. I know this was a standard "Fame Game” operation, which proved so successful with subjects such as Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears or Tara Reid, but I have to say the results are not my fault.

First, let me humbly submit that although I am an imp of lustful thoughts, my last field assignment was during the Victorian Era in England, when standards of lust and sexual desire were far different from today. Ergo, how was I to know that “twerking” had become an acceptable behavior among so many American mortals? On my last assignment, women wore garments in which they could not even have moved in the way Miley Cyrus did at the MTV Video Music Awards, much less have such provocative “dancing” excite both male and female members as much as it has. The result, while initially shocking to many of Cyrus's long time fans, simply ended up garnering a new contingent of devoted fans-mostly male.

Also, what I thought was a subtle evidence of irrational behavior, having her constantly stick out her tongue when being photographed, has instead proved to be her new “trademark” and is actually emulated by some young women, having supplanted “duck lips” in the selfies taken by some women in their teens and 20s. (I must say, sir, that your ideas regarding selfies, and especially “duck lips”, proves once again why you are in charge of Human Possession.)

Worst of all is that Cyrus apparently enjoys her current, imp-induced behavior enormously. She has come to relish the controversy and even allowed questions regarding her sexual orientation to be entertained in the media. Personally, I take this as a sign of success, as her “Hannah Montana” persona has been effectively ruined in the eyes of all but the most die hard Disney Channel devotees (it must be noted this is the same demographic that still likes Justin Bieber). How was I to know that the same quirk which made Paris Hilton famous would come into play with Cyrus? This is due to circumstances beyond my control: as evidence, I cite the duration and popularity of TV shows such as “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” as proof of the inherent instability and unpredictable nature of modern mortals. I hope this will be taken into consideration in reviewing my next assignment, and that the rumor that I will be assigned to Donald Trump proves untrue.

Your Most Humble and Unworthy Servant,

Laevus,