I know my desires are vague and that my reasons are plentiful. I also know that my life superfluous and that my sudden dreams arenothing if I just order me to stand still seeing others take my place in the world. The desire to be all possess, but the gift of making, fewdeserve.
- The Illusions of Ben Stiller.
For a long time I've been wondering. Who am I?
I have thought to say it was ningém. Just another girl this sad grayworld. I kept everything to me, because not everyone deserves to know me me at all. I swallow the crying, closing his fist and I shut up.
Someone who always preferred to keep quiet instead of speakingwhich for years stuck in my heart.
But I was wrong. I had the need to shout. To shout and show what Iam. To stop drowning in words.
After a time learning and missing several times, I finally managed to find out who I am.
I am a giant book, full of leaves written with pies words, scrawledhalf, full of errors and too tiring to read to the end.
I'm a mess. A puzzle of a thousand pieces abandoned in the basement of someone's home. I am the shadow of abandonment and the light of my smile is as false as the golden tips of my hair. Every day I force a joy that does not exist in me, and I never cry to the world the pain I feel.
The other day I created wings and learn to fly, but the walls are so high ... and the time always drags me back to the ground. And I'm here. Play. Start. Alone.
I want to do is change the skin, heart, and soul. I want to stop feeling, stop fearing. I want to write texts happy, but what can I do if all I see is darkness?
I looked for happiness, but the weather made me so blind that my fears drowned on myself.
I drowned myself. I transbordei, I imundei my dreams; tide I swallowed at once.
Once told me "if the world is not giving you what you want to receive, you need to see what is giving the world" but only I know how many times I changed my position for the world to see me better, but I still huddled in shadows.
I know give up fast, but I give up for fear of giving up on me. I run away for fear that escape me. And I'm also afraid of the light, because light too also blind.