Inconvenience & Oxygen

 

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Free at Last

Chapter .1. Free at Last

Victoria was 27 and had been habitually single her entire adult life, so much so that her family had an inside joke, regarding her handful of boyfriends in High School and the “2 week rule”.

            “oop, it’s been two weeks now, I guess he’s about to be shown the door” her mother or father would remark humorously, Victoria would laugh too, it was funny and true, they would soon be gone. She could hardly stand her boyfriends, none of her short-lived “relationships” ever felt serious, she wasn’t particularly attracted to them, she certainly wasn’t interested in having sex with them and there was no physical reaction when she was with them, it was strange of course, but Victoria didn’t think much of it at the time.

            As Victoria stood in line behind countless other freezing patrons, under the rose glow of ‘Red Bar’s’ neon sign, the only gay club in her small city, she began to think about how she’d gotten to this point and her first time out on the scene. She was ready to call herself a lesbian, but she would feel like a fraud if she did, she had never been with a woman, though it was all she wanted, she would keep her inexperience to herself, she feared being judged and she’d had quite enough of that in the past few weeks, she didn’t need any more, least of all from people she saw as her people and some lesbian circles were notoriously judgmental, mostly towards bisexuals, and in her inexperience she feared she would have a place of scorn in their eyes for barely being out. This fear would likely prove to be just that:

                False.

                Emotion.

                Appearing.

                Real.

The problem was she knew she was a lesbian without a doubt in her mind, but she felt like a fraud actually using that label, she would feel deserving once she had actually been with a woman in every way you could be.

            It had taken a serious illness to draw out the truth from the depths of her psyche, lying still for weeks, almost months on end batting a nasty virus, not to mention the year or so it took her immune system to recover, with nothing but her mind for company, life had inadvertently taught her many things, about the world, about the people in it especially those around her and most of all about herself.

Victoria remembered the day she was lying in bed letting her mind wander to an adventure she could not go live without a functional body, imagining a house by the sea, the furniture in it and the views from her bedroom balcony, as her mind drifted into this other world she was taken to a place she did not expect, into a woman’s arms, the thought was fleeting. The only reason she caught it at all was because she had been so ill that her body and mind were slow, so slow in fact, that she could hear her subconscious thoughts, from her mind telling her body to brace itself to have the strength to lift the kettle, to the moment that she realized had happened so many times before, she'd had thoughts of women, many times, but had squashed those thoughts down so far, so fast, that she never realized she was doing it, not consciously anyway. She always knew growing up in such an insular environment had fucked her up in some ways, but she never realized what the human mind was capable of, until that moment.

Women were beautiful, she had always looked at them, the shape of their bodies, their emotional intelligence and their ability to accept intimacy in its truest forms, more naturally than most men. The confusing part for her was masculinity came in many forms, but life had taught her that girls who looked like her only found men attractive. She soon discovered whilst she could appreciate male masculinity, it was masculinity in women that made her feel all those things that were missing with men.

Victoria remembered that day, every moment of it, for those were the moments that she gave herself permission to think of women. She let herself consciously imagine this beautiful butch woman, that had miraculously appeared in her daydream and saved her from the abject denial of who she was. Quickly her mind took over and she was in the woman’s arms, being kissed by her and it made Victoria feel for the first time, something she always thought would be denied to her.

It was a revelation.

She remembered feeling shock, but not at the thought that she liked women, the thought of this beautiful butch woman made her feel warm, free and happy, the shock was that she had suppressed herself so far in the closet that she had been in denial, almost her entire life.

All the small moments of her life that made her feel strange or different from those around her came into focus, she did look at men, because masculinity was beautiful they were like works of art, but she did not lust after them, not in the way you’re supposed to be physically attracted to a person of romantic attachment, for Victoria it was women who really turned her head and looking back she laughed at herself and wondered how she had missed the fact that she was a lesbian?

Victoria recalled playing at a friend’s house as a girl, in a particular memory they were lying under her friend’s bed on 2 or so occasions, giggling and touching each other, it wasn’t sexual, just exploratory, but she had never done that with a boy, nor wanted to. It was a time before she became aware of the world around her, the things the adults would say about each other and how cruel they could be to people who didn’t measure up.

She had been a good girl, she did as well as she could have in school, she went to church every Sunday with her parents and didn’t even know a swear word until she was twelve.

Christian people surrounded her in childhood, they weren’t bad people, and their beliefs weren’t any different or more extreme than mainstream Christianity. The Church and Private Christian School she attended were connected, her family’s social circles were completely unvaried and her friends were the children of her parent’s friends and vice versa, there were different cliques within the church and those were usually based on economic status. Then there was Home-Fellowship every Friday night, the fellowship groups took it in turns cleaning the Church each week, and so as you can imagine, these kind but devoutly Christian people made up almost all of her childhood interactions and observations.

It wasn’t that anyone ever told her it wasn’t okay to be gay, because they hadn’t, not that she remembered. It was all the words unsaid, she didn’t realize that it was a natural, normal thing to be gay, let alone that it even existed, because no one ever told her. Everyone around her was middle class or upper middle class, caucasian and heterosexual. It was the silent suggestions that influenced her the most, slowly over the course of many years strangling the individuality out of her until she put herself into the basement lesbian closet, the idea reinforced again and again, was that anyone who didn't fit into their ideal was treated differently, sometimes left out and even ostracized. Victoria didn’t want to be different, she wanted to be liked, loved and accepted.

Once she knew who she was she couldn’t hide anymore, she set herself free to love women, in every way a person can be loved, touched, pleasured, connected, physically, mentally, emotionally.

Whilst sitting in her parents lounge room, willing the words to come out of her mouth -“I’m a lesbian”- was the most terrifying moment of her life and the following weeks a heart wrenching ordeal, she still felt happier and lighter than she had her whole life. She was alone, but still, hopeful.

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Little Flower

Chapter 2 Little Flower

            Victoria realized she was at the front of the line outside Red Bar, when a voice pulled her out of her revelries.

“I need to see your I.D. missy” said the butch bouncer, bearing an I.D tag that read “Ange Babocci”.

She laughed and said “just a second” as she dug it out of her vintage clutch.

Once she could prove she was over 18 the bouncer stepped aside and let her pass.

She had a general admission pass, there was a VIP section but she had waited too long to get tickets, so she showed her ticket to the bookie and went through, nervously wondering who, if anyone would befriend her for the evening and help her get through her first night “out”.

As she went inside Victoria was amazed by the costumes and outfits everyone was wearing, there were a few people who were more casually dressed like herself, if you could say Victoria in all her high femme glory was ever casually dressed, in this crowd she was somewhere between normal and mardi gras, which was actually a welcome existence, compared to everyday reactions to her pinup style, from random exclamations like “Oh my goodness, how long does it take you to get ready!?” to people asking for impromptu tips and tutorials, on how to look the way she did. It was probably about time she had some business cards made, with her blog address and Pinup Facebook page “Victoria Victory” –so named for her love of Victory rolls- so that when asked she didn’t have to keep repeating herself and running herself late.

 She headed straight to the bar for a bottle of water, she figured taking it slow when you’re alone in a club was a good idea, she didn’t know anyone in the scene and this was her first time out.

In the crowd around the bar Victoria started to heat up, for the cold winter wind outside her vintage fur coat had been perfect, but indoors was another story, she shrugged it off and swathed her coat over her left arm and tucked her clutch under the same.

“Bloody hell, are you real?” said the woman in front of her.

Victoria looked up and met the gaze of an androgynous looking woman, who was managing to hold a rather large round of drinks.

She looked around self-consciously for a moment, not sure where to look, or how to react to such a rhetoric “yes” she said slowly.

“Are you single?” she asked.

“Ye-ss” she replied somewhat reluctantly, unsure of what kind of reaction her response would get, a random grab and pash, wasn’t what she had in mind for her first kiss with a woman.

The woman before her just nodded slowly, with her mouth slightly ajar and then walked away, leaving Victoria feeling even more unsure of how to carry herself in this crowd than when the exchange began.

Victoria had only the experience of online groups while she recovered from the aftermath of a nasty virus, Epstein Bar to be exact, it had knocked her out for over a year, not including the 3 months she was sick. The consensus from the members of such groups, was that lesbians were fucking crazy.

Which sounded pretty accurate to Victoria, they were all women, hormonal women and being a humble woman she wasn’t too proud to admit it. In fact, she herself was inclined to being snippy or sassy if she was; tired, hungry, or hormonal and god help the person who came across her when she was all three at once. Should anyone ever be that unlucky they should read her warning label; tuck this blonde into bed, throw her a care package of Ice Cream and Salt & Vinegar Chips, get her water and some Panadine Extra and then back out of the room and shut the door.

She shook off the unusual, all be it brief, conversation and decided one drink with a bottle of water wouldn’t hurt, if she relaxed a little she might find her way in this new experience, a little more easily.

“Wow, what can I get you Marilyn?” the guy behind the bar said, clearly her vintage pinup look, was going to get her the usual amount of attention, which was not enjoyed by a reluctant extrovert like herself.

“A bottle of water aaaand” she looked around behind the bar for inspiration, but didn’t know what else to have, she’d never tried a true cocktail and wasn’t sure what she would like, the premixed drinks didn’t seem very appetizing and she thought she deserved something a little more enjoyable for her first time out.

“Get her a Petite Fleur on my tab” said a dashing dyke dressed in muted gray and black at her left said surveying her with a wandering eye.

            “No, I really can’t let you do that, just the water please” Victoria smiled and rebuffed the offer, she didn’t know how she felt about someone buying her a drink, she felt bad taking from others, no matter how small the act or gift was. Victoria was a generous giver by nature, taking went against the grain of who she was.

“Do you have a sweet tooth princess?” she asked.

“A little, yes, but”

“The Petite Fleur” she ordered the bar keep.

Victoria frowned open-mouthed and said “you can’t”

“I just did”

“Are you always this stubborn?” she said still frowning at the gorgeous woman.

“Are you?” she said as she reached out and touched one of Victoria’s victory rolls.

“DO NOT, touch a pinups victory rolls. Ever” she scolded, as she gently petted her hair where it was touched to make sure it was still in place.

“Okay baby femme. Noted” she said amused at the little outburst.

“You don’t know how long it took to get these little bastards' she explained pointing to the top of her head, where the 3 victory rolls nestled perfectly together ‘perfect’, then her eye brows drew together and she asked ‘and what does “baby femme” mean?”

She laughed and said “I’m sure I don’t, here, you’ll like it it’s sweet just like you little flower. And I called you “baby femme” because of the fact you’re clearly out on the scene for the first time”

“how do you know that?”

“I don’t know maybe it’s the mingled awe-excited fear on your face, or perhaps the fact that you’re so alone you look lost”

Before she knew it the beautiful butch stud had her arm around her waist and was leading her away from the bar “wait I haven’t paid yet, and my water!” she tried to turn back around.

She was pulled closer as she tried to get back to the bar “already paid little flower and your water is in my pocket”

Victoria glanced around her companion’s body to her right pocket and her water was there “Oh, thank you. Why are you being so nice, you don’t even know me?”

She smiled and leaned down to Victoria’s ear “because you’re a unicorn, little flower and every woman in this room has given you a once over, I’d be stupid to leave you at the bar where someone else will scoop you up”

Victoria smiled a little then, she had worried about no one talking to her, she imagined she’d just sit in a dark corner alone, wondering how to makes friends with people who probably already had plenty of those themselves. Now she just found herself hoping that this woman was her kind of crazy and had the same intentions.

“Unicorn?” she asked puzzled.

            “Femme, the most femme I’ve ever seen in here, never seen you before though and this is my usual haunt, did you just move to Adelaide, oh god, please tell me you’re a lesbian?”

“I didn’t realize femmes were a rarity. It’s a long story, but I didn’t move to town I grew up here and I am a lesbian yes” she said.

Relief washed over her face, she had a lovely smile, the kind that smiles the most at the eyes, a true, happy, smile.

“Thank god for that little flower, speaking of names, what is yours?”

“Victoria, and yours?”

“What! Oh my God, seriously?” The beautiful butch woman chuckled heart-warmingly then replied “Tori”

“Uh-huh, I take it that’s short for something I’ll find familiar?” Victoria smiled up at her.

“Yes, ‘Victoria’. But if you call me by that name I’ll have to kill you” Tori lent down and jokingly whispered in her ear.

“Noted.” Victoria smiled up at her.

“A-ha-ha I see what you did there. Guys this is Victoria, Victoria these are my people, a little unhinged, slightly alcoholic and a little bit dramatic sometimes, but they’re mine” Tori’s friends laughed and preceded to reply in a slew of sassy comments.

“You, love us” said a man his the left arm draped around the shoulders of his well-dressed husband, evident by their matching diamond encrusted rings. He seemed like fun this one, he had glitter art around his face including what looked like a little hand print, all under pinned by his warm smile.

The man next to him tipped his drink at Tori as he said “Who else would drink with you?” the dapper man who was married to the warm glitter-faced man seemed more classic in style, no glitter just a loosened tie and an impeccably fitted suit.

“Or entertain you” said a lipstick lesbian with dreads and a quick playful wink with her bright hazel eyes. Her paint splattered shirt and pretty made-up face made her look as though she was equally the type of woman who could be serious over a bottle of red or more fun than a bus full of drag queens, depending on which mood you caught her in.

“Remember when Nicki drunk surfed in your pool?” a sandy haired soft butch woman said with a laugh, quickly echoed by everyone else.

They had inside jokes, Victoria liked that, it made for well-rounded, happy people, because it meant they had history and affection for one another and a sense of family was exactly what she needed to be around right now.

“Ah, I think you mean, drunk stumbled and fell off my surf board multiple times pseudo surfing, followed by nearly drowning in my pool” Tori retorted.

“ha ha yeah but then, she did get mouth to mouth from you, best day of her life!” joked the Hazel-eyed beauty.

“Shut up, Con” Tori glared at her friend.

            “Ma’am you don’t have a pass you can’t be in this area” a bouncer took Victoria by the upper arm and tried to pull her away.

            Victoria didn’t realize Tori had taken her into the VIP area “I’m sorry” she said to the bouncer.

            Tori felt her pull away from her side and turned her head to see the bouncers hand around her arm and said “OI, get your hands off mate, she’s with me” she held up two All Access passes.

            “Fine, but put it on her, or it’ll happen again” the male bouncer was a surly guy, seemingly one of those officious types.

            Victoria looked at the table of Tori’s friends slightly embarrassed, but they all wore looks on their faces that said shit was about to get real.

            Victoria looked up at Tori, her smiling face had gone and she was looking at the guy like she wanted to strangle him, then you could see her do her best to calm herself before she spoke “look, you’re obviously new or just here for the night, but what you don’t know, is I own half this place, so don’t be manhandling my girl, she’s with me, in my club, she can do whatever the hell she likes, don’t come back unless you’re called”.

            Victoria bit her bottom lip and raised her eyebrows as she leaned into Tori’s embrace, this was obviously the safest place in the club.

            “You okay little flower? He didn’t hurt you did he?” she asked concerned.

            “I’m okay” she replied still shocked by the welcome protective response.  

            “Good” she said, ushering her over to sit next to her friends in their booth seat, where Tori followed suit and sat next to her.

            “Sooooo, how long have you two been dating?” the sandy haired soft butch woman asked.

            “Good question Lis, Six weeks” Tori replied.

            “Nice, congrats, that’s like three months in lesbian time” Lis said with a smile.

            Victoria laughed and smiled along with the rest of them, but in the back of her mind she wondered why Tori had lied to her friends?

            “This is good” Victoria said to Tori, then took another sip.

            “I knew you’d like it little flower” she said a little too smugly.

            “Where did you meet, tell us all about it?” the sparkly-faced man asked.

            “Of course you want all the romantic details Liam, met her at the bar, in the Whisky” Tori said.

            “And what does she do?” asked his husband.

            “I’m right here you know” Victoria said.

            “okay let me rephrase that, what do you do Victoria” he rephrased.

            “I’m a part time pinup model, as you can probably tell”

            “nooo” he replied sarcastically.

            Victoria chose not to be upset at his response, she didn’t think he was being mean, besides she was very over sensitive at the moment and he just seemed very serious and dry “I spend most of my time, at a salon as a hair and make-up artist, spring and summer are busiest with weddings and formals, it’s a bit quiet at the moment so I’m just putting my extra time into my blog doing my outfit of the day, giving people pinup inspiration and tips, building a fan base so I can eventually do what I love full time”

            “”outfit of the day” You know she’s going to be high maintenance?” Con said after listening to the reply.

            “Yeah, well it takes time to look this beautiful” Tori said looking at Victoria.

            “To greater and lesser degrees I do look like this every day, but I’m well practiced so it doesn’t actually take me very long anymore, except when hair doesn’t want to comply” Victoria said touching her victory rolls that of all nights, decided tonight was the time to be difficult.

            “How much do you make on average per annum?” the serious man asked rather rudely.

            “Wow, that’s not something I would be asking a stranger, what does it matter?” Victoria asked, a bit miffed.

            “It matters if you plan on taking advantage of our friend” he said seriously.

            “I never ask for help, not even when I’m desperate, that’s not my way” Victoria said, hoping that would be the end of the unpleasantness.

            “Con, Michael, guys, I want you to get along with my girl” Tori warned.

            “Hey, you have enough hangers-on in Nikki and Kel, you don’t need another one, we want to make sure when you settle down, it’s with someone who deserves you and isn’t just along for a free ride. You’ve been taken advantage of enough” said Michael.

            Victoria tried her hardest not to be upset by the conversation, because these people clearly really cared about Tori.

            “We’ve never heard her name, can you really be surprised we’re giving your girl the third degree” Con said, backing Michael up.

            “It’s okay, they have a right to speak their minds” Victoria said forcing a happy smile.

            “You’re damned right we do” Michael said indignantly.

            “Honey, we’ve only just met her, what if she is a lovely girl and you two are going to scare her away if you keep this up” Liam chimed in, a kind voice of reason that was sorely needed.

            “Thank you Liam” Tori said exasperated.

            “Is she coming to church tomorrow?” asked Lis.

            “She’ll be coming home with me, sleeping in my bed, so yes, she will be at church tomorrow” Tori said, defensively clearly expecting some more lip in return.

                Victoria’s stomach jumped at the mention of Church, she was not prepared to step into one of those again for quite some time, even if her people were allowed in a church, there’d still be those people who likely wouldn’t want them there, and what if an acquaintance of her family was there? The last thing she needed was to chastised by the people who had all but disowned her, because they hear their lesbian daughter was found in a church on the arm of her butch girlfriend. She choked down her panic and tried to keep her focus on the conversation.

            “Why didn’t you tell us about her?” Con followed up Lis’ question.

            “Do I honestly have to answer that question?” Tori surveyed Con with raised eye brows.

            Con breathed one huffy breath, turned to Victoria and said “It’s nice to meet you, I’m sure you are lovely in your own ways, we just want the best for Tori, its been a long time since she had someone who could be her equal, you know?”.

            “lovely to meet you too, I get it” Victoria smiled, but really she wanted nothing more than to escape the booth, if it weren’t for her sleep deprived state and the slight dizziness creeping in either from her cocktail or the exhaustion, she’d have tried to make her excuses to slink out of the booth to the ladies for a reprieve.

            “Can we talk about something not related to my girl?” Tori asked trying to change the topic.

            “One more question, not a presumptuous one either’ he surveyed his hubby and Con “I swear”.

            Victoria liked Liam, he seemed to be of the same opinion as her when it came to people, give the benefit of the doubt, and until you show me I should treat you otherwise, I shall treat you with kindness.

            “One more and only because it’s you asking” Tori said to Liam, happy that at least someone was speaking up with kindness to the goddess by her side. She had a warm feeling when she looked at Victoria and an electricity that permeated her whole body, like they were magnets, positive and negative drawn together like magic. She hadn’t felt this, ever, and she didn’t want to lose her chance to see if it was real.

            “What can we call you for short? Little Flower?” he beamed cheekily.

            Victoria laughed, he was observant, she liked that in a person and it usually meant they were thoughtful too, which was always a blessing and extremely underrated “My family used to call me V or Viv, but that just makes me feel sad now, I never liked Vicki, Vic or Tori’ she grimaced at the last one ‘sorry’ Tori held up her hand and waved it away shaking her head, to say no biggie. ‘but my pinup friends call me Vivi short for Victoria Victory and I really like that. So yeah, Victoria or Vivi, if you don’t mind, and I think we’d better let Tori keep little flower for herself”

            “Sounds like a plan Vivi” Liam said.

            Vivi smiled and hoped that his kindness would rub off on the others.

            “Thank you” Tori said looking at Liam.

            “Aaaaah Liam, you always make the rest of us look bad” said Con.

            “Well you guys do make it easy for me” Liam challenged jokingly.

            “How are we for drinks? Who wants another round?” Tori asked, seeing empty or nearing it glasses.

            “Hell yes, I could drink a vat of Gin tonight!” Con exclaimed.

            “Why, what’s driven you to drink?’ asked Michael, as he held up his glass and mouthed quietly ‘bourbon and coke’.

            “Ugh, I’ve been doing a commission for a client and they’ve been asking for progressive photos, NEVER AGAIN!’ she rolled her eyes ‘every time I send a photo of the progress, they have something they want changed, it’s a nightmare! It’s okay though, they are filthy rich, I’ll charge them double, triple if they carry on like this much longer” Con said, looking slightly satisfied thinking about charging them the extra money.

            “Gin and tonic for Con, bourbon and coke for Michael, Liam, Lis what do you guys want?” Tori asked.

            “Sem-Sav Blanc for me” Lis replied.

            “a Tequila Sunrise would be perfect” said Liam.

            “Oh, so I’ll be getting up with the baby in the morning then!” Michael said smiling.

            “Ha ha yes Tequila turns me into a dancing queen and leaves me with an incurable hangover in the morning” Liam giggled already clearly a bit buzzed.

            “Let’s not forget the floor swimming” Con said suggestively.

            “Hey, I have an explanation for that!” he exclaimed.

            “You were swimming on the dance floor babe, you were paralytic, how could you possibly remember why you were face down and waving your arms, pulling yourself around the dance floor. How you got out with only some scrapes and bruises I’ll never know” Michael laughed.

            “I was hot, alcohol makes me hot and the floor was cool, oh it was sooo cool, it was heavenly and then, when the spot I was on heated up I moved on to the next cold spot, hence the swimming” Liam said sincerely.

            “I’ll see to the drinks and I’m taking my little flower with me, watch her stuff yeah?” Tori said.

            “Of course” said Liam with a reassuring nod.

            “Alright we’ll be back”.

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Red Bar

Chapter .3. Red Bar

As soon as Vivi thought she was far enough away from Toris friends she said "Six weeks huh? Is lying a vice of yours?"

Tori frowned in a way that suggested it was complicated "Let me order the drinks, I'll get them sent over and explain in my business partners office before we go back"

After exerting her privilege as a proprietor and cutting to the front of the line by going behind the bar to order, Tori and Vivi left for her managers office, fresh drinks in hand, the other half of the round being sent to the table in their absence.

Vivi took a few big sips of her cocktail, afraid of slopping it everywhere, as Tori led her through the crowd to a door, which took them through the change rooms of the dazzling drag queens and kings and other intriguing acts that were set to entertain the masses that evening.

Finally when they entered a small but well-appointed office and the door was shut, Tori started to explain herself and her lie "If you think that short interrogation was bad, just imagine having to prove yourself over and over again for the next 6 weeks and beyond. If they think I have checked you out myself for the past 6 weeks, they might be different with you"

"They're protective of you, I could see it back in the VIP booth, that made me happy for you, because it means they love you"

Tori felt relieved and lent back on the desk in the middle of the room, and after surveying her like a hungry hyena she said "come here" goadingly.

Vivi smiled, her heart picked up its pace and she knew what Tori would do if she went over there, but was she ready for her first kiss with a woman?

"Why?" Vivi asked. She sipped her drink and hoped she had caught her breath by the time the crucial moment came.

"I think you know why, judging by the fear that washed over your face moment ago" Tori said a little smugly, after reading her like a book, for at least the second time since they met at the bar.

"I just. It's kind of a long story and I don't want you to judge me or doubt me" Vivi replied nervously sipping her drink, plying herself with some more liquid courage.

"hm, you'll have to let me kiss you, then you can tell me your long story, because I can't possibly wait until after you've finished"

Vivis mouth dropped open at the prospect, she hadn't prepared herself for anything like this tonight.

"Perfect" was all Tori said as she stood up from the desk and pulled her closer.

Vivi stood idle, thankfully Tori was in control of the moment because Vivi felt like a nervous school girl, Tori gently plucked the glass from her hand and set it aside. She had one arm wrapped around Vivis back and was playing with the line of her bottom lip using the tip of her thumb "will this smudge if I kiss you?" she remarked looking at her lips.

Vivi couldn’t manage words, so she just nodded and tried to remember how to breathe.

In.

Out.

Repeat.

"Sorry little flower" Tori said apologizing for the crime she was about to commit against her perfectly applied red lipstick, almost touching her lips to Vivis as she spoke.

Somehow, the best moments of this first kiss were between Toris absence and her touch, the lingering static between them and the breath on her skin, willing her to be closer and yet drinking in those trembling moments before Tori caught her lips with hers, sending electric tingles through her entire body. For a long while Tori captivated Vivis lips solely, taking her time letting their lips rub and roll over each other, gradually their mouths parted and a lick of tongues touching between the lips was more electrifying than the moments prior.

After the enduring, overwhelming kiss was over, Tori gently pulled Vivis head in under her chin and Vivi was thankful for that, she was feeling extremely dizzy.

“I, well. Fuck” Tori uttered quietly, seemingly as lost for words as Vivi felt.

Vivi breathed out feeling very serene “Is it always like that?” she managed to mumble.

Tori laughed evenly and replied “Not usually, not for me” Tori paused silent for a few moments and they just breathed together relaxed still in the moment together. It occurred to Tori that Vivi must have had a reason to ask her such a question “Has it never been like that for you?”

“No, that’s where my long story beings”

“I see, shall we sit?”

“Probably ideal, I am so dizzy right now” Vivi smiled.

“alright, come here then”

Tori sat down in one of the modern style bucket arm chairs and pulled Vivi into her lap, as they sat down it rocked.

“Woah” Vivi exclaimed as the chair moved back and forth.

Tori chuckled at her reaction “My business partner has a baby, obviously doesn’t bring her to work during open hours, but when the place is closed he brings her with him, so he has a rocking chair in his office and it’s bloody comfy if I do say so myself”

“I can hardly concentrate enough to tell you the long story now”

“Dazed you with my enchanting kiss huh?”

“That and the 2 cocktails you got me, I’m feeling rather tipsy, don’t let me go tonight okay? Ugh” Vivi collapsed into Toris arms the wooziness taking hold.

Tori just held her and reached for the stash of bottled water on a side table, she cracked a bottle and put in in Vivis hand “here beautiful, have some of this”

Vivi looked down and smiled “mmm thank you!” she slid her leg up Tori’s thigh so that she wouldn’t fall off her lap.

As Vivi glugged down the bottle of water, trying to hold being completely drunk at bay (2 cocktails was to her what 4 or 5 would be to a regular drinker), Tori looked down at Vivis legs.

“Jesus Christ” she ran her hand up Vivis thigh, who didn’t notice as she was engrossed in her bottle of water. She ran her palm over the silky black stockings and then glided her fingers under the thing that had made her gasp, a suspender strap peeking out from under Vivis tight wiggle dress, Tori couldn’t resist, she pulled back the elastic slightly and let it go.

“hey!” she said in shock.

“What else is under here?” Tori asked inquisitively as she slid her hand slowly beneath Vivis dress.

Vivi gasped and pulled away from Tori so fast she fell to the floor “Don’t you dare!” she said crawling away to the sofa bed lounge along the wall.

“I’m sorry” Tori said as she stood up.

“Not in the chair where your friend rocks their baby, that’s wrong and gross!”

Tori felt slight relief “If you don’t want me to touch you at all tonight I won’t”

“I do, I just don’t want to do anything like that in that chair, it just feels wrong”

“You’re right, can I come over there and explore beneath you dress?”

Vivi giggled.

“God you’re adorable and sexy at the same time, how do you manage that?”

Tori pulled Vivi into her lap again and put her back the way she was before she fell off.

“I’ll try not to fall off again, I’m sure my tail bone will hurt tomorrow” she said massaging the base of her spine and pushing her chest out to stretch her back, inadvertently giving Tori a closer view of her sumptuous breasts.

Tori cleared her throat trying to remain in control of herself “Sorry little flower, I won’t let you fall off again, deal?”

“hm, deal” Vivi lent down and kissed her much like they had the first time, but a little more needful this time, Tori couldn’t let anything serious happen, Vivi wasn’t wholly in control of herself, she could see the change in her once quiet, reserved disposition and she would never want her to feel taken advantage of because she couldn’t really give consent right now, nor like she missed out on their first time because of drunken delirium.

Tori slid down onto her back and pulled Vivi with her, maybe she could sleep it off a bit. Without any cajoling Vivi was quiet and went to sleep on Toris upper chest, just beneath her collar bone.

Tori siezed the opportunity to immortalize the moment for the two of them, she took a few photos, she wanted to remember Vivi like this, whether they were destined for a night, a week or a lifetime, Vivi was unassuming, gentle, innocent and Tori never wanted to forget her asleep on her chest, just moments after their first kiss.

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