Pain. Loss. You watch a lot of people suffer from them on TV shows and movies, read about them in novel and sometimes, someone you know someone who actually experiences them. But no matter how many of your favourite movie characters lose someone they love or your favourite book characters suffer endless physical torture, nothing can prepare you for what it actually feels like. Nothing can prepare you for the constant agony of losing someone. Nothing can prepare you for the fake smiles and comments you give the people around you, when on the inside, you're crumbling. Above all, nothing can prepare you for the endless loneliness that stares you in the face and slowly consumes you, so that you are nothing but a walking pit of darkness. This is everything one might suffer after losing just one person. But put yourself in Clara Beadford's shoes and try to imagine losing every single person you care about. When you lose so many people, eventually you just stop caring all together. 

Clara stepped into a thin strapped, plain black, knee length dress and slipped into her four inch black heels. She tied her slightly curly, caramel-highlighted dark brown hair into a knot at the back of her head. Just another funeral. Nothing special, she told herself. Clara had lost count of the number of funerals she'd attended. Her parents abandoned her when she was nine, leaving a note that simply said 'we're terribly sorry'. Since then, she's been in several foster homes and there was only one she'd ever felt truly loved and accepted. She had her foster parents, a baby brother, two younger sisters, an older sister and an older brother. They were all murdered. Clara was taken in by an aunt and over the course of two weeks, the rest of her extended foster family were also dead. To put it simply, all of her family were dead. And now, her latest foster mother had managed to wrap her car around a power line. Clara felt it was a bit of a shame really. She hadn't minded this women, unlike the rest of her family. The father hated Clara for whatever reason and the two older boys and girl her age were abusive brats. 

"Hurry up Clara, we're going to be late!" The evil foster father, David, yelled. Clara rolled her eyes and waltzed down the mahogany staircase. Of course, none of the other children were ready. Lydia came wailing down the stairs in a surprisingly ugly mess. 

"Daddy, I need more time! Why does it have to be her funeral?" The girl was in hysterics. Clara almost laughed. 

"I know princess. I know. Take as much time as you need. No one is going to start without us." David was stroking her hair and muttering words Clara knew were probably meant to be easing the pain. Not that any of them work. Lydia continued crying as she sulked back up the stairs to her room. David sank into the sofa and Clara quietly scoffed to herself. Although clearly not quietly enough, because Jayden, the eldest, came up behind her and slammed her into the wall, holding her by the throat. 

"What was that you Bitch!" He yelled in her face. Clara laughed through his hold and rolled her eyes. Jayden tightened his grip and slapped her cheek, snapping her head to the side. Her entire cheek stung and her eyes started to water. She could feel her eyes bulging out of her head as black dots danced across her vision. When she thought she was going to pass out,  Jayden released Clara and she fell to the floor in a choking heap. Not once did David intervene and Jake, only a year older than her, stood at the bottom of the stairs with his arms folded against his chest. 

"Was that really necessary?" He asked. 

"I don't know, you tell me. Lydia ran back to her room in a balling mess and she just scoffs," Jayden exclaimed, pointing down at Clara. He bent down so he was eye level with her, "if you say or do anything again to disrespect my little sister, I will kill you." Clara didn't meet his eyes, and stayed in her crumbled state on the floor while Jayden stormed back up the stairs into Lydia's room. Jake started towards her and tried to help her up, but she slapped his hand away. 

"I don't need your help," she hissed. He backed up as she shakily rose to her feet. 

"Jayden's just on edge and everyone's emotions are running high." 

"Well, when I'm on edge, I don't try and  suffocate someone or threaten to kill them," Clara retorted. 

"You could show a little compassion. You've been through this before, you know what it's like." 

"If you think just because both of our mothers are dead, we suddenly have this unbreakable bond, you better wake up fast." 

"Yes. My mother is dead and today is her funeral so just be a little sensitive," Jake started to raise his voice. 

"Sensitive? You're asking me to be sensitive to all of you? How stoned are you right now?"

"We've just gone the through the same thing you have! Okay, I get it. I get what you went through-" 

"You have no idea what I went through!" Clara screamed at him. "We did not go through the same thing!" Jake was slightly taken aback by her sudden outburst. 

"I lost everyone. My entire family and then my extended family. And they were all murdered. You're mother just couldn't drive. You have the closure of knowing what happened to her. I have no idea who killed them. So, I'm sorry if I'm not in the mood for giving any compassion or shedding a tear or two, because I used up all my tears when I was fifteen." Clara lowered her head, pitched the bridge of her nose and stormed out of the house, slamming the door shut behind her. She pulled her phone out of her dress pocket her called her best friend, Adelaide. On the second ring she picked up. 

"Please tell me the rest of the idiots in that family dropped dead," were her first words. Clara sighed. 

"Unfortunately not. Listen, there's no way I can go to that funeral by myself-" 

"Way ahead of you. It was going to be a surprise but you've ruined it for yourself. I'll meet you there okay?"

"Thank you so much Adelaide." Clara breathed a sigh of relief and no sooner had she hung up, Jayden led the rest of his faintly out of the house and into the car.

"There's no room for you," he spat over his shoulder. 

"The last time I checked, the car has five seats and if I can count correctly, there are four people," Clara retorted. 

"I said there's no room," Jayden said through clenched teeth. 

"Pfft, that's fine. Half an hour less I have to spend with all of you," Clara looked at each of them in turn. "But just so we're clear, you're reimbursing me the cab money." 

Before the guests arrived for the funeral, the coffin lay open at the front of the run-down church, revealing a very peaceful-looking woman. Clara couldn't help herself and touched the woman's check,  jerking her hand back when she felt how cold she was. 

"Do you always feel the cheeks of the dead?" Clara jumped around at the voice and tripped on the small step leading to the coffin. She felt herself falling and then strong arms around her waist and shoulders. She looked up and came face-to-face with the most beautiful boy she had ever seen. No he wasn't just handsome; his features were so...inhuman, Ckara thought. His jet black hair was falling into his eyes from looking down at her. And those eyes! They were like a pair of deep oceans she thought she was drowning in. He flipped her up a little too roughly, and she flattened out her dress, trying to act like nothing happened. 

"She just looked so peaceful," Clara replied, looking back at the coffin. "Is it bad I'm envying a dead person?" 

"Yes. Why would you want peace? Where's the fun in that?"

"Well I wouldn't need it if I were having any fun," she muttered. Quickly changing the subject she asked, "so how did you know her," she flicked her head back, indicating to the coffin. 

"I didn't," he gave a smile and Clara thought she saw a hint of malice. She swallowed hard. 

"So what are you doing here?" 

"Visiting an old friend. Got a lot of history in this small town."

"Really? Because I've never seen you before and trust me, everyone knows everyone in this town." What she said was true. Oxgrove Hills was a tiny town centered in Pennsylvania. It consisted of an elementary school, a high school, the local diner 'The Grove', sheriff station, your odd shopping center or two and a graveyard behind the church. 

"Trust me, you should be glad my history is, well...history." He gave Clara another creepy smile and she was saved from answering him when her phone rang. She looked down at the caller ID and back up again to find the boy had disappeared. What a creep, she thought. She answered the call and was greeted by a series of shrill questions. 

"Where are you? Are you okay? Do you know how many texts I've sent you? Was your phone even on-" 

"Woah, Adelaide, slow down. I'm at the church. What's going on?" 

"Oh thank God you weren't with them." 

"With who Adelaide?" Clara was losing patience with all of the vague statements. 

"David and the three snarky amigos. Their car drove off Crystalpeak Cliff." Clara was stunned into silence and almost lost her grip on the phone. 

"Clara are you there? I'm almost at the church, don't go anywhere." Before Adelaide could finish, Clara ended the call and sank to the floor. She didn't really care any of them were dead, she was just overwhelmed from the millions of thoughts that flew into her head like a flock of angry birds. This cannot be happening. It can't be a coincidence, she thought. She didn't know how long she's been sitting there when she felt slender, delicate hands grab her by the shoulders and shake her. 

"Hey, Clara! Clara!" Clara slowly lifted her head up to look at Adelaide, eyes glazed. 

"It's my fault isn't it?" She whispered. 

"How could this be your fault?" Adelaide asked. "You've been here the entire time. What makes you think it was your fault?" 

"Everyone around me dies. Think about it Adelaide, you and Ash have been there for every death." 

"So? You've lost more people in your lifetime than anyone else would in five! That doesn't mean their deaths are your fault! You know what, I'm going to call your boyfriend and tell him to get his ass over here." 

"Adelaide, no-" 

"Ah, ah, ah. You sit there, keep your mouth shut and let me help you." Clara sighed and let her head drop into her hands. This isn't me, she thought. I don't get upset about these things anymore. 

 Hey everyone,

So I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of my book. Please give it a like and if I get enough, I'll continue. Thanks for reading lovelies! 

Chloe xx 

Ash arrived at the church within ten minutes of Adelaide’s phone call.

“Alright, stop moping and get up. We’re going on a road trip.”

“To where?” Clara replied, her head still in her hands.

“Well if you want to find out, you’ll have to get up off your ass and come with me.” Ash gave Clara his typical eyebrow raise and smirk. And this is why she loved him. Where others would have tried to comfort her or sympathize for her, Ash would just tell her to get over it and move on. She smiled and held out her hand for him. Ash took it and pulled her to her feet.    

“So, do you want to tell me where we’re going now?”

“It’s a surprise.”

“You know how bad I am with surprises. You might as well save yourself from my harassment now and tell me.”

“Or you could save yourself from my cussing and keep your mouth shut.” Ash smiled and looked down at Clara and she narrowed her eyes at him.

“Whatever.”

When the pair reached Ash’s motorcycle, Ash jumped in the front and Clara slid on behind him, putting on her helmet and wrapping her arms around his waist. She placed her chin on his shoulder.

“You sure you don’t want to tell me where we’re going?”

“You’ll find out soon enough,” he replied. Ash revved the engine and it roared to life.

“Ready?” He yelled over his shoulder.

“Is that a trick question?” She replied. Ash smiled and they sped off, earning a whoop from Clara.

After forty-five minutes of driving, Clara realised where Ash was taking her. A further twenty minutes erased any doubts.

“This is your great idea of a road trip? A cemetery? Really?” Clara questioned.

“It’s not just a cemetery and you know it.” They arrived at the Greenwood cemetery in Philadelphia and Ash parked the bike. Clara undid her helmet and slid off, walking slowly towards the spot where her foster family were all buried. She found the gravestone for her mom, Julia and dad, Paul and sank to her knees.

“Hey mom, hey dad,” Clara whispered. “I’m sorry I haven’t visited lately. I’ve been too caught up back home. Another family died today. Their car drove off Crystalpeak Cliff.” She took a shaky breath and continued, “I know it’s stupid, but I’m really starting to think I’m cursed or something.” Clara laughed. “What do you guys think about that? C’mon tell me,” Clara raised her voice. “Answer me!” She screamed. Ash was by her side in a second, pulling her to his chest. She grabbed fistfuls of his shirt and cried. She cried and cried until she had no more tears to shed and her eyes were too swollen to see out of. Clara pried her own fingers from Ash’s shirt and lifted her head, blinded by the bright, mid-day light.

“You good?” He asked.

“Yeah, I’m good.” She looked up at Ash and just over his shoulder, she thought she saw that creepy kid from the church.

“What the hell?” Clara whispered. She grabbed Ash’s shoulders and spun him around in their place on the ground. “Did you see that?” She asked.

“See what?”

“A person.”

“Clara, it’s a cemetery. Of course there’re going to be people around.”    

“No, no, no. There was this creepy guy at the church earlier. I was talking to him and then he just disappeared. I thought I saw him.” She kept her eyes on the spot where she thought she saw him.

“There’s no one there. Are you sure you’re feeling alright?”

“I’m feeling fine. I’m telling you, there was someone there,” Clara exclaimed. She pressed her palm to her forehead, “that’s it, I am officially going insane.”

“Hey, you’re not insane. You’re just a little loopy.”

“Not helping,” she ground out.  “You know what, let’s just get out of here. I think this place is making me lose my remaining sanity.”

“You don’t need a cemetery for that,” Ash threw a sideways grin at her.

“Hey!” Clara shoved him and he chuckled. As she climbed onto the back of the bike, she began to brace herself for all the problems she faced when they arrived back home at Oxgrove Hills.

“So where did Ash take you?” Adelaide eagerly asked. Clara had decided to meet up with Ashley at the local diner, ‘The Grove’ to take her mind off of the rest of the day. “Was it somewhere romantic? I bet it was some secluded lake in the middle of nowhere and he surprised you with a fancy shmancy wine-” 

“Okay first of all, we’re under aged-” Clara began.

“When has that ever stopped you?”

“And second,” Clara squinted at Adelaide, “we went to Philly and neither of us does the whole romance thing.”

“Yeah and I don’t get why. You’d think a guy as sexy as him would have a hint of romance somewhere in him.”

“Speaking of sexy,” Clara started. “There was this really sexy guy at the church earlier, just before you called me.”

“Hey! You already have Ash! Leave me some will you?” Adelaide exclaimed and laughed.

“You didn’t let me finish the story. Yes, he was super sexy but he was also super creepy and in my books, creepy overrules sexy.”

“That’ easy for you to say because you already have a sexy man.”

“No Adelaide, you’re not listening to me. Okay, so I’m standing in front of the open coffin and then he just appears behind me, out of nowhere. So we’re talking and he’s exchanging these other creepy remarks and then you call me and he just disappears.”    

“Maybe he had to go to the bathroom,” she exclaimed in a ‘duh’ tone.

“Maybe. But get this. At the cemetery in Philly, I could have sworn I saw him there,” Clara tried insisting.

“What were you doing in a cemetery?” Adelaide asked, horrified.

“That’s beside the point. Adelaide, listen to me. I have a really bad feeling about this guy and if you ever see him around town, steer clear of him okay?”

“Ah, I can’t guarantee that.”

“Adelaide…” Clara said in her warning tone.

“Okay, okay, fine. I’ll stay away from him,” Adelaide threw her hands up in a surrendering gesture. Clara was about to shove a fry into her mouth when Mr. Creepy walked in.

“Judging by the sudden change of your skin tone, that wouldn’t happen to be your mysterious creepy guy would it?” Clara’s voice failed her and she couldn’t reply. His eyes found hers and they seemed to lock her in place. She didn’t even realize what was happening when Adelaide left her seat and sauntered over to him.  Clara jumped up, knocking her chair over and tried to grab her friend’s wrist.

“So my friend says you’re new in town,” Adelaide battered her eyelashes and gave him her best seductive smirk.

“New, no. Returning, yes,” he didn’t take his eyes off Clara.

“We were just leaving,” she tried to tug Adelaide away, but she refused.

“So do you have family here?” Adelaide continued to pry.

“Not alive,” he answered shortly.

“So where are you from then?”

“Adelaide, he doesn’t want to stand here playing twenty questions with you. Let’s go,” Clara tried one more time to drag her friend away but failed once again.

“Hey, if the pretty lady wants to talk, I’m more than happy to,” he finally changed his gaze from Clara to Adelaide. “My name is Julian by the way,” he extended a hand in her direction.

“Adelaide,” she gave him her hand and instead of shaking it, he brought it to his lips and kissed it.

“Sorry, I’m old fashioned.” Clara threw her hands in the air.

“I’ll be in the car, Adelaide,” she spat. Julian whispered something in Adelaide’s ear and she giggled.

“You know what, you take the car. I’m going stay for a while.”

“Are you serious? Adelaide no, we’re going home!” 

“Does she always make decisions for you?” Julian asked.

“No she doesn’t,” Clara sassily replied. “Adelaide I don’t have a home to go back to if you’ve forgotten. I need to come back to your place with you.” Clara couldn’t believe she was even having this conversation with her best friend.

“Clara, I’ve ‘been there for you’ for the past three years. I’m sure Ash – you know, your boyfriend – would love to hang out with you.” Clara’s mouth was hanging open by the time Adelaide finished.

“Fine. You know what Adelaide? You do what you want. I’ll find somewhere else to stay for the night. And tomorrow. And the next night.” She shoved Adelaide’s keys into her hands and stormed out of the diner, walking to the only place she felt wanted.