40.3
Japanese Warrior
Chapter 1
Struggles ahead..
Rikū stumbled forward, nearly tripping over the roots of a tree. He could feel it now, the pain in his back, the thumping of his heart in his ears and the warm blood that seemed to flow endlessly down his back...
Thump... thump... thump....
The sound was growing, hammering incessantly at his ear drums. Would this be it for him? He was tired, he had lived a decent life. Maybe, just maybe, he should take a lie down, only for a few moments...
He fell forward, on to his hands and knees. Something whistled by slamming into a tree in front of him. Another, one, two, three....
Arrows. His pursuers were close, it would only be a matter of time before they caught him. He couldn't stop, he needed to keep moving. To stop is to die, and he was not done with this world.Not yet.
He slammed a fist into the snow, then grit his teeth and pushed himself up, using his sheathed katana as support. He can't stop, won't stop, not until he'd had his vengeance.
Thump... thump... thump...
The noise, this persistent noise, of his heat pulsed through this body, reverberating off his very soul. He was losing to much blood. His heart was struggling to keep his muscles supplied with the oxygen he needed to keep going.
Despite the pain the weary, old man was in, he couldn't help but give a slight smile which was accompanied by a very quiet chuckle. This wasn't him, he didn't believe in gods. He must be going delusional from loss of blood.
Stray thoughts began to seep from the darkest pits of his mind, plaguing his consciousness with questions he had no answers for...
Why must I push on? Why can't I rest? Don't you want to see your family again? Why must I strive to live, when the world is full of so much pain?
Thump... thump... thump...
His vision was blurring now. He could feel the cloth on his back stick to him, as if it had been coated in honey. Everything was beginning to feel... warm.
Rikū stumbled again, falling against a tree and quickly grabbing hold of it for support. He couldn't go on like this, his mind may be determined to keep on going, but his body was getting ready to give up.
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A great start! Really pikes the interest and is action packed, well written too. A few things which are just typos and strange use of punctuation the use of commas where they don't need to be used and you used 'to' when 'too' would be betret. Will read the next chapter as soon as I can (you also have an 'untitled' empty chapter between this and the next which could use a deleting) keep up the great work!
*RID KSKSKS
maybe get red of this since its blank & just start at "Struggles ahead.."
Would favorite this but the page won't let me lol