All we have seen is the red-hot dust that flies into our faces. The beating sun burning our skin. No water to be found in any direction when turned. The sky bright with few clouds that would block the heating sun. Nis is looking paler and paler by the minute. We really need to find food and water and soon.
“I don’t know how much longer I can hold on, Damon. We haven’t slept, ate or even drank a drop of water for the past few days. If this keeps up we may die of dehydration,” Nis stated with worry. I can’t blame him because I feel the same way. Disoriented from not enough liquids in our body. Hallucinating of which wish to be there and yet it disappears from our eyes as though our reality is teasing us before our final death. At the same time, we cannot succumb to such destiny.
I look up from the ground staring ahead of us. I see trees. Finally, trees are coming closer. When there are trees there should be water nearby. I poked Nis in the shoulder. Nis’s gaze follows my finger to the trees just dead ahead of us. Excited we both ran towards the trees. It felt amazing that finally, that nice cool water will flow down to our stomachs. I am super excited about it. Although, it felt like ages like we have not gotten any closer to those damn trees. Is this another hallucination. I turned around about to say something to Nis when Nis is laying on the ground face-first. Ah, shit. We're not going to make it. The last thought that arose in my mind. As I drop dead to the ground.
Are we going to make it I wonder? Are we going to die without the love from our lovers? My whole body seems to shake and shake. A hand grasped on to me.
“Wake up son, it’s time for school,” a man’s voice echoed in my head. My eyes opened. Gazing into my father’s eyes. Shit seriously this is bad enough. I hate it when I am in this fucking body. I can’t ever seem to control my urges nor am I able to see what is going on with me in my other reality. This is fucking nerve-wracking.
“Yes, father I am up,” I responded in a daze followed by a light sigh. My father walks away towards the door. He looks nice and, in a suit, wonder what he is up to. Ever since I started coming to this reality I have never seen him in a suit. It seems uncanny. I got up and started getting ready. As I am brushing my teeth I can’t help but wonder how Nis is doing. Where is Gin? I need to figure how to find them. I would need more than luck to get out of the situation that we are now accustomed to.
I get downstairs and see my father walking out the door, most likely heading off to work. My mother singing in the kitchen. Honestly, I think it’s time to go. I'll just let her sing and I will head to school. They seem happy. I do wonder what has been going on?
I open the door and start to walk out when I see Luscious at the front door. Confused I asked, “what are you doing?” Lucious started playing with his backpack string tensely. He glimpses at me and then down back at his string.
“Just wanted to walk to school with you. I mean we do live close to one another,” Lucious clarified. Well, that is a bit weird. I have never really seen this side of him before. Sigh, it doesn’t matter.
“Alright then let's go,” I responded. Lucious nodded. We walked towards school in a silent manner. I am never sure what to talk about with him. I know he is nervous, but still, it is like we have nothing in common. Then I randomly blurted out “I can’t find Gin?” What the fuck am I a fucking idiot? First off were outside in this damper heated weather with people grazing by and yet I blurt out something that is ridiculous in front of others. I smack my head with a self-loathing motion in response to my own stupidity.
Lucious jolts his head towards me, “what,” he asked. He looked confused.
“Well, Gin and my brothers were on a ship heading towards Gin’s home planet, Cyron, and some of the humans attacked the ship that we were on. Gin and everyone were heading towards these portable spaceships. Gin ended up getting shot while we were on the portable ship. After that something happened,” I started off explaining. Lucious looks as though he is absorbed in this conversation.
“So, explain to me what happened afterward,” Lucious asked suspiciously.
“Um, okay, well I am not entirely sure we even made it on the planet. But Nis and I are together, alone with no one else there. Not even the ship that may have been wrecked. We’re not sure what happened or how we ended up where we were. The place we ended up was covered in like red dust, you know like the desert in Egypt,” I explained even further. Lucious became even more intrigued. Anxiously waiting for me to explain even further, but I really can’t since I woke up in this century. He waited a few minutes before raising his finger to his chin. In deep thoughts of what was said.
“So, you don’t know what else happened where they are or even where you are,” Lucious asked. I shook my head no. “Uh-huh!” Lucious looked like he was in deep thought trying to figure out what I said. You know now that I think about it I had a weird surreal dream. Maybe if I tell him about this dream he may be able to help me. Although I am still questioning his intentions, but also Gin’s. When I told Gin about this dream it was like it didn’t even faze him nor was he suspicious of me either. That is a bit, uh, unreal.
“Something else was a bit weird. I mean this reality I am in right now is surreal to me but is highly real since I am living in it, but before I woke up from the planet I had a dream that we made it to the planet and Gin and I was finally having sex, but then I woke up from that dream-state. I am not sure what to think about it,” I asked. As always, this walk to school is long and Lucious didn’t even answer my question I wonder if he is still trying to figure out the whereabouts of my location on the planet. “Who are you, exactly?”
Lucious jumped from his skin. He looked nervous, “um, what exactly do you mean?” I can’t help but question him like this. His actions are suspicious like he knows something, and he isn’t telling me. I am sure I will figure out soon enough, but still, the way he is nervous and anxious makes me doubt him and his intentions.
“Never mind, so we're almost to school. Let’s separate and we will meet on the rooftop for lunch, sound good,” I said. Lucious nodded and ran off towards Marc and Dillion who are most likely talking about football and their opponents that they have crushed so far during this season. I may go to this school, but I still haven’t figured out why the soul who was in this body before me committed suicide. It just doesn’t make any sense. I am even questioning who this person may be.
“Well, gay boy you came back to school again today,” Jack grinned. Seriously doesn’t this kid have anything better to do? What does he not have a happy life so now he wants to ruin everyone else’s happiness because of peer ignorance? I can’t believe people call this bullying. I wonder what part of me is he jealous of. I am hot and maybe he just wants a good lay, I giggled. “What the fuck you are laughing about, huh?”
“You. I can’t tell if you're bothering me because of your crushing on me or you're scared of me because you think I would have a ridiculous crush on some moron who is full of ignorance and can’t seem to find the happiness he is so desperately looking for. Well sorry to burst your bubble, sweetheart, but your whining as a bully about how my life sucks and yours is better so I am going to give you a hard time is kind of annoying, besides don’t you know if you want happiness you need to figure out how to obtain it without crushing others. Boo-hoo, my life sucks so I am going to ruin your happiness, honestly, this makes you look much more pathetic,” I responded angrily.
Jack looks a bit speechless. Can’t have that kind of bullshit near me. I really dislike this kind of person. Seriously I don’t have time for these children play I have much more important things to worry about than some bully who can’t find anything without destroying others. It really does make him look pathetic.
School is boring as always. Talking about the repetition of subjects in general. It is like the teachers lost imagination and went straight towards adulthood. The bell rings, finally lunchtime. I rush up the stairs onto the roof. Threw the door open. Looked around and no Lucious, as my hands went up into the air rushing towards the sides of my legs in response. Where did that bastard go?
Oh well. I start munching on the snacks I bought from the vending machine. They are cool to have food close by and at any time to get that snack when you're replenishing your energy, as the people here say.
“What are you doing up here,” a tame voice flowed over. I turn to realize it is Jack. Seriously why do I have to deal with morons every single fucking time? I am about to lose my shit. “Are you speechless now? Is it because you said everything you wanted before school started?” Jack walked over to where I rest my body on the railings. Starts munching on his food in an upsetting daze. His eyes look a bit swollen like he cried. Well, I am still not apologizing you’re the fucking idiot that brought it upon yourself.
“What are you doing up here,” I asked. Jack turned his head and shrugged his shoulders. Went right back to eating. What the fuck kind of response is that. I mean I know I don’t own the fucking rooftop, but still, why is he fucking eating up here. “Let me ask you a question why do you bully people? What is the fucking purpose of it? What do you exactly get out of it? I mean honestly, it is starting to piss me off, and you know what they say about the quiet ones, you better watch it?”
Jack smirked “you ask me why I say the things I say or do the things I do, well, honestly I am not entirely sure. Every time I see you, smiling while talking to others it is like you shine in some weird way. It was like you have never experienced any pain of any sort,” while he continued on munching on his snack. Maybe the old soul that preoccupied this body did not have such a thing or maybe they did. Nobody will ever know. This poor old soul must have been heartbroken. The soul that could never be fixed because of no light to break through their shell.
I smacked my head, gently, awe geez everyone goes through fucking pain. “Are you a fucking idiot,” I sarcastically stated. Jack turns his body, as he drops his snack on the rooftop. Struggling for the words that he is searching for to come out in play. “Don’t you fucking understand that everyone goes through something whether it’s a death of a family member, abuse or whatever. Honestly what the fuck would you know about anything of that sort? This is life Jack, look around you, you are one of many humans that occupy this world,” I stated in anger.
“Romeo, look I understand what you are saying, but not everyone experiences pain. Pain hinder people from moving. The pain of agony and torturous memories engraved within our soul. So, you're saying I am just one of many, but not every single person in this world is in my shoes, experiencing what I experience, not being able to comprehend my own thoughts, so why should I not be mad and take it out on everyone else,” Jack explained in desperation. This is a good time to explain a story that Garcia once told me.
I smiled, “you know Jack there is this woman whom I have met that explained to me about pain, sorrow, loss, and confusion. She said that you should picture yourself out in the deep blue waters. Now picture your surroundings that are pitch black. You can’t see anything. No sun. No blue sky. No clouds, not even thunder that may light up within the sky. Are you with me so far,” I asked patiently. Jack nods in agreement. You can tell he is picturing everything in the smallest detail concentrating on what I will say next. His eyelids closed with anticipation of the next storyline.
“Now picture only sounds zipping through the air. Only those sounds will help you. You see the water represents a path of your choosing. The ship is the soul that you carry with you. The darkness represents the pain you harbor. The sounds represent a light to guide you. The question is do you follow that sound or ignore it,” I explained. Jack opens his eyes. Glances at me and then closes once more.
“I won’t ignore it, but I want to know where it leads me,” Jack asks in a soft voice. I can’t help but smile while listening to his answer, all right then let’s continue.
“No one knows where a path may lead. A path may lead to more paths and choices that will be made. Even so, we have to be brave enough to follow that sound to move. Now, you follow the sound. Your boat crashes, although it is sinking at a slow rate. Remember the ship is your soul meaning that when your soul seems like it’s crashing and your sinking it means you are experiencing another kind of pain that is added within the darkness,” I started to explain.
“Wait, what? You mean I will not only experience the darkness of pain but more pain from other directions,” Jack asked anxiously. I nodded.
“It can’t be helped, in life we experience more than one kind of pain and sometimes others experience just pain. This will make us stronger and that is also how people end up becoming survivors. Now, shut up so I can finish,” I responded, although Jack just nodded in an agreement and closed his eyes once more. “Now the boat is sinking because of more bad experiences, but the sound is still calling, and you follow that sound. You reach a piece of land after so many bumps and crashes that you have experienced. You arrived on an island with many people, although the darkness still resides. You can hear them, but you can’t see them. Of course, your confused on where to start. So, the main goal is to get back on the waters to follow the path that leads you to your happiness and goals, so what do you do first,” I asked?
“I, um, I need to fix the boat, my soul in order to start moving,” Jack responded.
“Your right you do, but how would you get your boat fixed? You are doing this all in complete darkness, what would you do,” I asked. My answer to Garcia was that I would stay on the island shrouded in the darkness. Embracing the pain and converting it to more harm, until I met my brothers and Gin. I realized then that support from whoever will bring even more light into our lives.
“I would find someone who could fix the boat and leave after it’s been fixed, so then my soul still somewhat stays intact,” Jack responded confidently. It’s a decent answer, but it’s not complicated enough, nor will it make him strong enough. People have many crashes nonstop without sinking so fast into the sea. That is why when you land on an island of some kind, basically, a small stop that helps give you a breather. A place to look for those who may help fix your broken soul.
“That is one way, but wouldn’t that lead to more crashes,” I stated? He had this look of “oh” drawn on his face. “Exactly, so what you should do is find people to talk to. Follow the sounds of people then start interacting with them. Their light will shine on the main light that will fix your soul. Now each person you talk to keeps shining a light towards one direction. At the end of that direction, you find a person who fixes ships. Now your whole path has been lit you are going back to find your boat to fix and be on your merry way. Now the people who guided you to the boat fixer are the ones to guide you to the person who will heal your soul. Now, this can be family or even a lover and at times it will be your best friend, even rarely it could be some stranger with their own story. The only thing you have to do is find that first light that showed you your path,” I finished my story. Jack sighed with relief as though a huge weight has been lifted off his shoulders. And hopefully, this story will help others.
He turns my way with relief on his face. “So, what are you then, my soul fixer? If so then what do we do now,” he asked. I looked at him a bit confused, but maybe he does mean a friend. I mean I already have a lover and I don’t particularly want another lover, especially just thinking about how angry and upset Gin would be if I had sex with another other than him.
Ugh, adding a bit of a shiver. Jack could tell something was up. I interrupted his muttering “look we can be really good friends that hang out and help understand one another’s pain. So yes, in a way I could be your soul fixer, but I could also be one of those guides that lead you to your soul fixer,” I explained. A smile crept on his face. Jack then bent towards the dropped snack on the rooftop ground. He picked it up and started munching on his snack. Although Jack looks really satisfied with my answer as though everything just came to him. I turned to look at the bright sky with ease. I honestly want to know more about the soul before me. Who was the person who occupied this body? “Can I ask you a serious question?”
Jack turns my way. A bit astonished by my question, but a bit happy by me asking. “Um, yeah what is it,” he asked. I am still a bit anxious and nervous about how to ask this question and what would I do with this information, but still I feel as though I must find out no matter what.
“Before my accident,” my voice started to shake a bit “what was I like?” Jack looks at me a bit confused by my question.
“You mean before your suicide attempt,” Jack clarified. I nodded hesitantly. “Well, honestly you were the opposite of who you are now. Before you used to keep quiet. Never talked or interacted with anyone. Even so, nobody really paid any attention to you, until someone saw you.” Jack crumpled his chip bag into a small ball and shoved it in his pocket.
“Saw what,” I asked anxiously?
“Ah, the twin brothers, Drake and Blain saw you coming out of the hotel in Beaming city with another man. They were shocked. So, they started rumors of how you were gay and beat you to a pulp a few times. Yet somehow you always toughen it out. Until the brothers took it too far, although this is a rumor, the twins took you to an abandoned building and had gang-raped you with other guys from our school. It was even said that there was a video of it roaming around the school, although I am not sure if any of it is even true,” Jack explained in full detail.
My jaw dropped with shock. So, this other soul was forced to do such a thing at that time. He must have felt alone. Lost. Confused. Most likely didn’t know what to do or how to handle the situation. “Um, about this video do you know who may have it right now,” I asked impatiently? I need to figure this out. If I don’t I fear the worst may yet to happen. This is fucked up in so many ways. The twins, I wonder if they are the ones I met when I was walking home that day.
“Actually, I am not sure, but if we ask that Shelly girl from Lucious’s friends I am sure we would be able to figure it out,” Jack replied. Shelly. Weird, well whatever if I get to the bottom of it and handle it in a way that will let this old soul rest in peace. I nodded.
Jack and I met after school in front of the doors for the cheerleaders to come out on the grounds to practice their routine for the upcoming football game. Jack keeps fidgeting like crazy.
“Knock it off. What are you so nervous about Jack,” I asked. Jack ignored me with his fidgeting body. What the fuck ever. This whole situation is starting to get fucking ridiculous. Finally, the cheerleaders all walk out of the building. Jack starts to back off little by little away from them. “Um, hey Shelly, may I ask you a question?”
Shelly shrugged off my hand that laid on her shoulders. Jack kept jumping here or there whenever Shelly moves a muscle. I turn to Jack and mouthed “knock it off”. I turn towards Shelly as she mutters.
“Look, Shelly, I just need some information on something and I hear you are the one to talk to about anything,” I stated. I said this because women love to be looked at as though they are amazing. Well, women, in general, can be, but not all.
“Look, um, what was your name again,” Shelly asked in a sassy kind of girly tone with her hip shift and her leaning even ever so close to my face. Her fucking tone and attitude are highly agitating on so many fucking levels. I told her my name. “Well look, pathetic gay boy, I don’t really have time for your ridiculous request for information. I am busy with other things that are much more important than what you want, you get me gay boy?”
Nope, I completely despise this woman. “Shelly listen I don’t care what you have against me all I want to be about the video that is supposedly going around about me. I want to know who has it.” I explained with a bit of sarcasm. Shelly had this look of anger that was lingering.
“Tch, you want to know huh, well I don’t give a shit about that. And what I have against you. Tch, I don’t want you to turn Marc into a gay boy since it is contagious,” Shelly explained with a high intensity of anger. You know what would be interesting if I threatened to turn her man gay if she doesn’t give me what I want.
I smirked with enjoyment in our conversation. “Well, then how about this. I will stay far away from Marc if you give me the information I ask for?” I asked, but I don’t really know how it will turn out. Maybe if I add “if you don’t give me the information I will make sure to stick to marc like glue and let him experience a gay relationship!” She looks even more agitated. Did I press the wrong buttons?
“Fine. I heard that a guy named Chase has it, although he doesn’t go to our school,” Shelly explained with a bit of relief on her face. “Now don’t forget to stay far away from Marc, got it?”
I smiled even more. “Yes, I understand and thank you,” I replied. I turned around and grabbed Jack by the hand and we ran off to the front of the school building. Out of breath “finally I think I may know who she is talking about.” Jack looked a bit surprised by my comment.
“Who is she talking about,” Jack asked with a bit of a confused tilted head expression. Ah, I don’t exactly mind telling him who I am talking about, but I need to figure out a plan. Jack is staring at me, very impatiently.
“Um, right, well I might have to figure out a plan, so it may take a few days,” I responded before Jack fell over from fidgeting anxiously. He just nodded, and we said our goodbyes.
On my way home, I have figured out one plan, but it will mostly go all wrong in so many ways. Even so, it is a bit weird that the guy named Chase has this video it makes me wonder if this video was passed out of school connections as well. Still pondering on the different alternative paths from my plan I walk into my house. The lights are all off. I turned on the doorway light and peeked through the peephole to see if the cars are at home in the driveway. Yet nothing was there. Damn it! I have too much shit to worry and think about and now I must figure this whole bullshit video that has been leaked.
I finish the dinner that I microwaved, of course, I have taken a liking to pizza subs. They are delicious, although very unhealthy. Well, my parents are not home yet, so maybe I should start my plan tonight. I grabbed my phone to call Lucious yet scrolling down finally realizing I never got his phone number. Should I wait until tomorrow? Nah, I am sure everything will be fine. I open the door and head out to the last place I have seen that moron.