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The bed sheet is covered in sweat. My mouth is dry like a desert. My brain thuds like a heartbeat but instead of spreading blood it spreads pain. I sludge out of my bed and feel the cold ground between my toes. I look out of the window, the city looks like a sandcastle stepped on by kids. not a living thing is in site, I laugh "took long enough" my blood shot eyes spread tears.  I clench my fist looking at the red spots on my knuckles against the pale skin. "uh, realistic to". I smile like a maniac and punch the wall beside me, it smashes like glass and displays a beautiful array of dry paint... it hurt.


this is not real, its fake, when i wake up i will be back home.

I take other step feeling the smooth water like tiles. i slump to the floor, the world spins around me and the dirty colours of  the sky fill the air. 


The dry chestnut trees cover the ground and the dust of the gravel swims around me. I hold the diary in my hands turn the pages over like its a museum treasure. the words scream in my head from the pages below. I found it on the ground in my bed. It found me, It knows me, it is me, i am it. I hate the way those words roll of the tongue and how they are like old friends. anger swells inside me, i was not always like this, i used to be just like everyone else but after i went to that cold, dead hospital i only feel pain and anger, well that's may be a bit of an exaggeration . i still feel happy, just at the strangest things. 


i  just wish i knew what was happening, what they do to me?


"another one of those dreams honey?"  "your here" i cry " of course i am?" "what are they doing to me mum? when can i go back?"  that woman looked like my mum but the eyes were so cold, a shiver ran up my spin, "where is she, where is my mum?" "oh baby your in shock again, come let's get you to the testing room"       "WHERE IS SHE, what have you done with her" i scream.  I lashed out and got that evil creature in the face. "baby don't hurt me (no more (: ), i love you, i am your mum"  


i know what they are doing to me, they do this so many times, how could be so stupid. i am not going back to that place. "i won't be your little puppet, you are interested in that place then go yourselves. "honey it is just a dream we don't want you to go back to that nightmare." "we?"


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children are screaming and braking the car windows, their pale faces lean on the glass and their eyes ask for help. "mum, where are we going" i whisper "world is safer without you" mum? "world is safer without you" i lay back into the car seat, ha ha sooo funny. " ok, i get world is safer without me " i minic "world is safer without you.  " so you are acting like a robot, kids are crying and... and" a young girl with a olive face, white clothes and a braid walked up to our car. "welcome hope you enjoy your stay" mum? "world is" "ok i get it"

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