To the guy who only thought of himself,

First of all, I want to say thankyou. Thankyou for hurting me - as badly as you did. How did you hurt me you probably ask? You hurt me by borrowing my heart and using me at the worst possible time. To explain this hurt I have to go back to the beginning and start there.

When I met you I was still struggling over my previous relationship that had turned pear shaped. I was timid, hurt and scared to fall in love again. I was still in the process of mending my heart. You knew this. You knew everything about me and stupid me thought I knew everything about you too. All those perfect nights we would stay up late cuddling and talking about life. You made me believe that you wanted to be with me and that it was okay to fall again. I was the happiest I had been in ages; I had finally mended my heart and was ready to give love another shot again.

But little did I know, you had two other girls on the sly. You didn’t care about me. The words that came out of your mouth were all sweet talk words; you didn’t mean any of them. You lied. You continuously lied about where you were and what you were doing. You had me giving you all the trust in the world. But it turns out you were saying these exact words to the other two girls.

Finding out the truth was the hardest part. I felt sick in the stomach and couldn’t manage to hold the tears back. In all honesty I felt like a fucking idiot. An absolute joke. 

Do you want to know when I really got to know the real you. I learnt the real you when I confronted you. I sat in front of you and balled my eyes out and let all my hurt out. You? You just sat there with no expression of care or sympathy. You smirked at times and struggled to look me in the eyes. You had no explanation – you didn’t care – you didn’t feel – you didn’t understand.

You damaged me and I honestly have never been the same again. I didn’t love you no, not yet. But fuck I cared and put my heart on the line and that’s what hurt me the most. Because by putting my heart on the line like this I had it broken again and blamed myself for this. What was wrong with me? Something must be wrong with me if a guy cant even give me the truth or have some respect for me. I have never had a guy humiliate me like this before and left me confused about what I really deserved.

But after reading this, you may be thinking ‘Why is she saying thankyou to this?’ I’m saying thankyou because by having you in my life and experiencing this horrible feeling I have actually realised the exact type of guy im looking for to fall in love with next and I can tell you now they will be nothing like you.

Love the girl who will never second look you again.

(Anon)