“Ashlee Thorne…”  I felt a nudge on my shoulder and turned to see the intrusion into my thoughts.  Professor Drake was drilling holes into me with his eyes.  “Miss Thorne, can you please tell me the novel in which I was referring?”

My cheeks reddened and my heart began to race.  Normally I was a great student.  Normally I listened and took notes in a flurry, hanging on each word that fell out of my professor’s mouth.  Contrary to my current situation, I was a great student.  I turned all of my assignments in on time and had no problems with the work given to me.  Today, however, was not normal in any way.  My thoughts were muddled from the night before.  From every night of the past week.  

I mumbled out a novel that I remembered being mentioned in a previous class and felt the heat creep over me as I was corrected and dismissed.  I could feel the eyes of my fellow classmates and cringed in embarrassment.

I’m not usually such a daydreamer.  I’m a realist, a girl not lost in daydreams about a guy.  Especially not him.  I normally don’t even remember what I dream about, but for days I had woken up with a calm clarity, visions of him on the bridge.  He’d visited my dreams every single night and I wasn’t sure how to feel about it. Sure,  years ago I had harbored a tiny crush on him.  An infatuation that had gone nowhere.  He had been dating the same girl, one that was all wrong for him in every possible, for our entire high school career.  I wasn’t the only one that thought she wasn’t for him, most of our small class of peers thought so, though none would ever voice it.  She seemed to make him happy though, so I forced myself to move on.  There was no reason, in my opinion, to dwell on someone that was happy, someone that I would never have a chance with.

I packed up my books into my tattered messenger bag as the class was dismissed.  Settling the strap across my shoulder, I made my way out into the crowded hallway, heading straight for the stairs.  The four story academic building only had two elevators and at any given time, one hundred plus college kids were too lazy to take the stairs, bulking up the already too-small, too-crowded hallways.

I breathed in the fresh fall air and smiled as the sun hit my face.  Autumn was beautiful in Eastern Kentucky, the days crisp and perfect for hoodies and warm beverages.  After grabbing a quick pumpkin flavored coffee from one of the many coffee shops on campus, I headed towards the opposite end of the campus to the dorm buildings.  

“Shit!” I gasped, jumping backwards as I someone bumped my hand, dumping hot caffeine down the front of my sweater.

“Watch where you’re going.”  I turned to see a blonde with too-tight yoga pants skimpering away, a smirk on her face.  Pissed, I picked up the now empty cup and threw it away in the nearest trash can.  A gust of wind blew through the trees and the three dollars worth of liquid cooled against my chest.  My day couldn’t get any worse.

As the fates would have it, I entered the common room of my building to find him sitting on one of the many couches with his friends.  Most of them I knew from high school but there were a few new faces in his crowd.  

“Hey, Thorne!”  I stopped in my tracks, one foot on the stairs leading up to my floor, and turned at the sarcastic laden voice of Preston Walker, his best friend.  Out of the corner of my eye, I could see that Carter‘s conversation halted as he turned to watch the exchange playing out in front of him.  “There‘s something on the front of your shirt..”

“So?” I cocked an eyebrow, wondering where he was going with his statement.

His lip curled up in a cocky grin as he stood and walked over to me, so close that I could smell his aftershave.  His eyes glinted with something I didn’t like.  “I can replace that with something you’ll like a whole lot better.”  Disgusted, I smacked his hand away as it snaked up to push a piece of hair behind my ear.  

“That’s enough, man.  Don’t be a dick.” Carter smacked his friend on the arm gave me an apologetic look.  Preston laughed and turned back to his friends.  

“Trust me, one night and she’d be following me around like a puppy, begging for my attention.”

“Obviously, that night won’t be tonight, so put it back in your pants.”  Carter said.  I rolled my eyes and walked away.  What a freaking knight in shining armor he was.

Carter Tate or just “Tate” to his douche bag friends was always a nice guy in all the years that I had been in school with him.  He was just always surrounded by a questionable crowd.  Had he distanced himself from them, things would be a lot different.  He was one of those popular guys that was nice to everyone, that talked to everyone and had a lot of friends.  He was one of the popular guys that you just couldn’t help but want to be friends with.  He had such a likeable personality, his friends just made it hard to get near him, especially if you were a less than popular girl, which I was in high school.

Sighing, I dropped my bag onto my bed and ran my fingers over my eyes.  I could feel the stickiness on my chest from the coffee and immediately pulled my sweater over my head and dumped it into the laundry basket.  My t-shirt underneath was also stained and I felt tears prickling the back of my eyes.  I was so ready for today to be over.  

Ready to be clear of coffee and rid myself of the day, I grabbed my robe and bathroom supplies and headed for the girls bathroom.  As usual, the room was barren and all the showers were empty.  The hot water felt amazing as I stepped beneath it’s steaminess.  I could already feel myself relaxing.

After my shower, I dried off and started down the hallway back to my room.  

“Hey, Tate, are we still on for tonight?”

I cheeks flushed at the sound of his name.  I risked a peek over my shoulder and witness a cute girl smiling at Carter.  

“Yeah, of course.”  He caught my eye and smiled.  “I’ll text you, okay?  Ash, wait up!”

I was shocked at his use of my nickname, not being able to recall him ever recreationally using my name at all.  He ran up to me and immediately his eyes traveled down to my green toenails and all the way up to my face.  He grinned and I felt a little flutter in my heart.  Not this again.  I did not want to end up crushing on him again.  His high school girlfriend was apparently no longer in the picture, but he was obviously preoccupied with other females.  Females that more resembled the coffee bitch from earlier than me.

“Nice outfit.”  He chuckled and I felt like I was going to die.  I was standing in the open hallway, in nothing but a short bathrobe and flip flops talking to the guy that I’ve been dreaming about for days.  His eyes turned apologetic as he noticed the blush on my cheeks, signaling my embarrassment.  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“It’s okay.  I just don’t normally run into guys while I’m in my bathrobe.”

He nodded.  “Well, I’m kind of in a hurry, but I’m glad I ran into you.”  I cocked an eyebrow in question.  He was glad he found me?  “I wanted to apologize for what happened today with Preston.”

Oh.  I got it now.  He was apologizing for his caveman friend.  

“He can be a dick sometimes.”

“I think that’s an understatement.”  I said, sarcastically.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure he shouldn’t be let out in public.”  He chuckled.  “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I’m fine.  Trust me, I’ve dealt with worse.  I did go to the same school as you guys, ya know.  It isn’t my first encounter with him.”

“True, true.  I still wanted to apologize to you, though.  He shouldn’t have treated you that way.”  He ran his hand through his dark brown hair and sighed. 

“Well, thank you.”

After a moment of awkwardness he excused himself to go get ready for his date and I felt and ache deep inside my gut at the thought of him going out with that girl.  I shouldn’t feel this way.  I felt like I had no right to.  He was nothing to me.  I found myself kind of sad at that thought.  I was confused at how I was feeling.  It seemed like with the influx of the dreams I was having came a flood of the feelings I had had for me back in high school.  I thought I was over this.  I guess I was wrong.

I finished my homework and nuzzled into bed with plans of finishing the novel that I had incorrectly identified earlier in Professor Drake’s class.  Unfortunately, my bed was too warm and too comfortable.  Before I knew it, I had nodded off.

I was on the bridge looking out over the water.  Flower petals danced in the ripples.  My hand rested softly on the worn wooden railing and the colors of Spring illuminated my surroundings.  Something about this was familiar.  I knew this place, I just didn’t know how.  

“Ash.”  I heard my name whispered in the air and I immediately warmed at the melody of his voice.  I turned toward the sound and there he stood.  He was beautiful, standing in front of me. A small smile lit up his face and his the pad of his thumb danced across my cheek.  “I’ve missed you.”

“You just saw me last night.”  I said, breathless.  His eyes were radiant as he stared at me.  I couldn’t look away and found that I didn’t want to.  Looking into his brown eyes felt like home.  It felt right.

“It will never be enough.”

I felt like I couldn’t breathe at his words.  So long I had imagined them coming forth from his lips.  So long I had waited to hear him say them to me.

“What is this place?”  I asked, burdened by thought that I had been here before, not in a dream.

He looked out over the railing and took in his surrounding.  His smile never left his lips as he turned to look at me.  “You don’t remember?”  I shook my head.  “It’s okay.  You will.”

I was confused over his words but didn’t care.  It was beautiful here and it seemed like the air illuminated around him.  He made it what it was.  I knew that somehow.  He was in control of where we were.
“Can I hold you?”  He asked, shocking me with his tenderness.

“You want to hold me?  Why?”

“I’ve always wanted to hold you.  For years I’ve wanted to wrap my arms around you.  Feel you against me.”  My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest.  My pulse raced as I nodded and he immediately pulled me to him.  He folded his arms around me and held me in his embrace.  Never before had I felt so safe, so right.  I felt like this was where I was meant to be.
 
And then I was gone.

“Oh my God, Josh, you’re waking her up.  I told you have to be quiet!”  Shrieked my roommate.  “I’m so sorry, Ash.”

“It’s alright.”  I said, straightening myself up.  Groggily, I took in my surroundings.  My blankets were wrapped around my legs and my book lay splayed out on the floor.  So much for that.  

After Rebecca apologized five million more times and ushered her boyfriend out of the room, I sat up, rubbing my eyes.  Another dream.  Another night of him taking over my sleeping mind.  I was so confused as to why he kept appearing there, at that bridge.  What blew my mind even more was the fact that, the more I dreamt of him, the more intimate the dreams were becoming.  When they first began, we hardly talked and soon we were holding full conversations.  Tonight was the first night, however, that he’d ever held me in his arms.

I sighed and glanced at the clock.  He was probably on his date right now.

Yawning, I grabbed my coffee and took a large gulp.  I pulled my legs up into the cushiony chair and slid them underneath me.  I felt like I had been working on this paper forever.  I hit the backspace key and erased the entire paragraph that I had just written.  I tried for another half hour before giving up completely.  Sighing, I closed my laptop and sat it on the table next to me.  

Where r u? I texted Rebecca, knowing she didn’t have a class right now.

Walked Josh 2 class. Y?

At the cafeteria.  Lunch? Tortellini today.

Be there in 5!

I knew the tortellini would get her.  It was her favorite.  I quickly packed up my laptop and books and straightened myself up, making sure I wasn’t leaving anything behind.  

This was favorite spot to work on my assignments, outside of my room.  Outside the cafeteria was a large common area with carpeted floors, big cushiony chairs and couches and large windows that spanned the entire length of the wall looking out over the main area of campus.  It was even more beautiful in the fall.

Once Rebecca bounced her way into the building, we made our way to the food line and loaded up on cheesy pasta and buttery garlic bread.  We grabbed a couple sweet teas and made our way through the checkout lines.  We surveyed the room, looking for a decent place to sit.  The entire right side of the cafeteria was sectioned on in different tables, all labeled for different sororities. The left side was the same only for fraternities.  Us non-Greek kids got the middle.  

“So Josh is thinking about joining a fraternity.”  Rebecca said, stuffing food into her mouth.

“And what’s your opinion on that?”

“Hello!  Frat parties!  Of course I’m okay with it.  Plus,” She said, motioning towards the fraternity tables. My eyes met Carter’s and I looked away blushing.  “Look at all that man candy.  I might be taken, but it doesn’t mean I wouldn’t enjoy the view.”

I couldn’t help but laugh.  I had to agree that there was a certain amount of… hotness in the fraternities.  I was currently resisting the urge to peek at one of those gorgeous faces.

After we ate and loitered around the cafeteria for as long as possible, we had to go our separate ways.  I sat through my math class and did my best to stay awake. As I entered Psych 101,  I was shocked to see a familiar head of dark brown, almost black hair in the front of the auditorium.  I took my usual seat in the back and pulled out my materials, trying my hardest to not stare at the thick locks.  Why was this happening?  First I start dreaming about him nightly and when I try to get him off my mind he begins popping up everywhere.

I did my best to pay attention to my professor, but it was hard work.  He was boring and monotonous, his voice a monotone and it was struggle to pay attention on an average day.  But today was even harder because I could see him perfectly from where I was sitting.  It took everything in me to keep my eyes off of him.  My mind kept returning to last night’s dreams and the words that he spoke to me.  How it felt being held in his arms.  They were only dreams but they were so vivid that I could still feel the weight of his arms around me.  It was so strange.  I made a note to myself to see what I could find on Google once my classes were over.

As the students filed out of the classroom, he caught my eye and gave me a small wave.  The corner of his lips turned up in a small smile and the damn butterflies went crazy in my stomach.  I gave him a small smile in return and made my way out into the hallway, not sure exactly how I was going to succeed in getting him off my mind.

My Google search came up with over seven million results.  Skipping over the ones about vivid dreams during pregnancy, I clicked on the Wikipedia entry about lucid dreams.  Lucid dreaming definitely explained how vivid they were and how I knew that I was dreaming.  I think that was one thing that freaked me out the most.  When I was in the dream with Carter, I knew that I was dreaming.  I knew that I was asleep and that I was dreaming.  Before my nights became interrupted with Carter Tate, never before had I had a dream like this.  It was so new to me and I didn’t know how to handle it.

I lay in bed that night debating on whether or not to try to stay awake or to just give in the dreams.  Finally, deciding that it would hurt nothing to give in and see what would happen next, I let myself drift off to sleep.  It wasn’t like he knew what I was dreaming about anyway.

Once again, I found myself on the beautiful bridge.  It looked like something from a painting.  Flowers and leaves danced in the wind, twirling in their downfall to the rippling water below.  I always entered this scene standing with my hands placed on the wooden railing and staring out at the water.  

I turned as he appeared to my right, like always.  I couldn’t fight the smile that appeared on my lips.  He immediately walked up to me and pulled me into his arms.  I wasn’t expecting it, but I didn’t pull away or stiffen up.  I was ecstatic.  He felt amazing.

“You don’t mind?”  He asked, leaning back to look at my face.

“No.”  I said, resting my hands on his hips.  I could see something darken in his eyes at the contact.  A flurry lit deep within me.

“I saw you today.”  He placed his hand in mine and pulled me down to sit on the wooden planks of the bridge.  We slid our legs through the railings and watched our reflections in the water.

“I know.  Why were you in my psychology class?”

“I transferred in their today.  I needed another credit and it was the only required class that I haven’t taken yet.  I didn’t know you were in there until I saw you walking out.”

“I saw you sitting up front.  I couldn’t believe you were there.  It seems like I’m seeing you everywhere.”  He smiled.  “How is it that I’m seeing you a lot more now?”  I asked, curious.

“What would you think if I told you that maybe I’m making it so that you do?”

I laughed.  “I’d say you were full of crap and that it isn’t nice to lie.”

“You’re wrong.  I like you, Ash.  I always have. I want to see you more.  This,” He waved his hand around, motioning towards the dreamland that we were in.  “This isn’t enough for me.”

“You make it sound like you’re really here.  Like this isn’t just one of my dreams.”

“But it is.”  His thumb caressed my cheek and his eyes devoured me completely.  I was locked in his stare, unable to look away.  I didn’t want to look away.  I was insanely aware of the fact that our faces were so close that I could feel his breath on my skin.  “Tell me you don’t feel this.”  He said as his eyes lowered to my lips.  His face came closer and it took everything inside of me to keep it together as his lips landed softly on mine.  A small moan escaped my lips and he opened his wider, inviting me in.  The kiss deepened and without even thinking, my arms snaked up around his neck, my fingers lost in his silky brown hair.  A small groan came from deep within his body and he backed me up against the wooden railing.  Every inch of me shivered as he pressed his body against mine.  I could feel every glorious inch of him.  His body was hard in every place that I was soft.  

Finally, breathless, he pulled away and looked at me, a small smile inching up at the corner of those delicious lips.  It took everything in me to resist pulling him back to me.  

“Yes,”  I said, officially out of breath.  “I definitely felt that.”

A chuckle erupted from him.  “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

“Probably not as long as I’ve wanted you to do it.”  I couldn’t believe I just said that to him.  But we were just sucking face, so why not be honest? “I’ve had a crush on you since I met you in the fifth grade.”

He grinned and pulled me back to him.  Once more, his lips pressed into mine and my body reacted the exact same way.  I pulled him closer, unable to get enough of him.  My body was aching for more of his touch.  I wanted him.  Badly.  When I felt like I was going to explode, I forced myself to break off the kiss, gulping in the air with greed.  I would never be the same after I felt his lips.  No kiss would ever be like that.  My body had craved this moment for years and the actual thing was so much better than I could have ever imaged.

“You know,” He said, running his fingers through my hair.  I moaned and leaned my face against his palm.  “Our hair is the exact same color.”

“Way to be random.”  I laughed, dying from his touch.

We did random well.  The rest of our time spent together was filled with stories.  He told me about his parents divorce and how his mother treated afterwards.  He had kept his secrets well hidden in high school.  No one would ever know how badly his mother had treated him after his parents’ seperation.  My heart ached and his voice grew heavy with emotion as he relived one of the worst nights he’d had with her. 

Our conversations went from serious to funny, from joking to steamy, finally admitting to each other all the thought’s we’d ever had about one another.  I was embarrassed to admit all of the more intense visions I’d had of the two of us, but once I’d told him he’d tell me of something he’d dreamed up that was just as raunchy, if not worse, than my own.  I couldn’t believe everything he was admitting to me.  How come I had never known he felt this way?

The beeping of my alarm roused my from a wonderful deep sleep.  As soon as I was conscious enough to be alert, I began thinking about last night’s dream.  I couldn’t help but smile as I ran my finger across my lips.  I was almost insane enough to believe that I could still feel his lips against mine, that there was a tingle there, that my lips were swollen and bruised in the most wonderful way.  If I didn’t think it was crazy, I’d say that his kisses had been real.