Sugarplum

 

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Sugarplum

- on the loves that hurt

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2016 SO FAR

or, THE THINGS I NEVER TOLD YOU

  1. sometimes anger makes your
    veins bleed. when my sight
    turns red & i can’t breathe,
    even a touch feels like a bomb.

     
  2. i wanted to be in love
    so desperately that i
    fell for all the wrong people.

     
  3. mother said i should always
    be selfless, that i should
    always put others before me.
    when i wanted to cut my self
    out of my own body,
    i didn’t tell anyone because
    i didn’t want to make them
    worry. because i never
    mattered that much anyway.
     
  4. the day i realised that i
    liked girls only, i
    prepared to say goodbye to my
    family. they taught me to
    love them unconditionally, but
    never that they would love me
    the same way.
     
  5. the guilt has grown as thick
    as a forest. brushing it off
    would be selfish, so i leave
    it to decay.
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On Watching Someone You Love Fall Apart

- A STORY IN THREE PARTS

  1. Diocletian’s Palace.
    Yes, this is what it sounded like.
    The tap-tap of the water against
    the floor. The weight of an entire
    city swaying on your back. Feet
    treading the same path thousands
    have tread before, but you —
    you can’t find the exit.
     
  2. Hadrian’s Villa.
    You stood amidst the ruins and
    suddenly you were a part of
    them. Your open mouth an
    empty echo of the marble halls.
    Your teeth chipping and falling
    with Time’s punches. There
    were two of you that day, like
    there was you and there
    was a ghost of you over that.
    The villa as it once was —
    grand and sprawling and rich,
    and then as it is now.
    Dead. Dying.
     
  3. The Colosseum.
    Bloody mouth and bruised fists.
    All that falling, all that screaming.
    The dying. The losses pile up,
    each one a tally marked by
    a dead body. The biggest one
    is yours, raw and scratched
    and torn up. Your skeleton
    smiles and in my mind I watch
    as you crash to your knees
    over and over again.
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Almosts And Other Broken Words

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Heliocentric

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Love's Skinned Knees

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~

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