'The storm wasn't forecast!'


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'The storm wasn't forecast!'

I'm sure the storm wasn't forecast. 

I did watch Jane Bunn's weather report last night as probably did millions of other men around the world.

She didn't say anything about a storm. As a matter of fact, in her slow seductive weather reporting tone, she promised clear skies for the next 30 days according to her amazing extended forecasting. Quite astonishing considering that all the other weather channels can only see 7 days ahead. But then again, she is a meteorologist as the channel 7 ads keep reminding us.

Still, this didn't explain the storm that threatened overhead. Dark skies indeed. Turning angrier by the minute. I took my phone out and played around with the idea of questioning Jane Bunn for the very first time. 

Oh she won't know, I thought to myself.

But you will feel guilty, is this what you really want to do?

I have to, I promised everyone that marquis tents were not necessary for today's corporate picnic. This could cost me my promotion.

'Forgive me Jane', I said out loud and proceeded to the Bureau of Meteorology website.  

Website down.

Website down!

Oh great, just great.

I tried another weather site, it too was down.

How could this be possible? Every weather site I tried returned the same result.

I then spotted my neighbour outside.

'Hey Bill,' I yelled from my porch. 'Do you know what the weather is today?' 'I watched Jane Bunn last night and I think she got it wrong.'

Bill slowly turned to face me.  A look of disdain on his face. Not happy smily Bill, more like, - I want to kicked your head off into the next field Bill, by the way he stared at me.

He then raised his arm and pointed straight at me.

'Unbeliever, unbeliever!' he yelled again and again with fury in his eyes.

A small crowd quickly gathered and joined in on the disturbing chant.

I raced back inside and slammed the door shut. This couldn't be happening, what the hell was going on!

I peered through the curtains and the mob were walking up the driveway in a continuous chorus. Reminded me of a funeral procession, which was not a good thought at this time.

I headed towards the back door as the sound of pounding fists came from the front. Suddenly i heard glass smashing. They were making their way in.

I finally reached the back of the house and raced out into the garden. Dark skies kept looming overhead.

'Damn Jane Bunn,' I cursed.

Behind me the mob were closing in. Without a moment to lose, I climbed over my back yard fence and fell into some thick bushes. I knew I had to get out of here as it was Bill's garden. 

Scratched and bleeding, I crawled until I could finally see the clearing. Parting the last of the bushes I fell out into the open. I couldn't hear anything from my house. Perhaps they had given up chasing me. 

As I got up, the first thing I saw was Bill blocking my way. But he was just standing there. His lifeless eyes fixed on me as if trying to burn a hole through my head. I slowly backed off towards the side and turned around only to see a larger mob in my way. From behind Bill, more gathered around and soon I was surrounded. 

'What do you all want!' I yelled but they all remained silent. 

'Say something!' I yelled once more, but to no avail.

Just then, I saw movement in the crowd behind Bill.

Storm clouds closed in overhead.

As a streak of lightning tore across the sky, it blinded me for an instant. As my eyes regained their focus, someone else was standing in front of me. Bill was no where to be seen. I rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasn't seeing things.

Before me stood Jane Bunn. The crowd were on their knees in worship-like fashion slowly chanting Jane , Jane, Jane.

'Hi Jane,'  I waved.

'You know I watch you every...'

Everything went dark.

I woke up to the sound of distant thunder.

Boy what a dream. I rubbed the back of my sore head. Must have been the way I slept.

That Jane Bunn, really love her weather reports. I went to my front window and peered outside. Definitely a bit of rough weather approaching.

Opening the front door I stepped onto the porch.

I waved to Jonesy, the mailman, delivering the morning mail.

'Hey,' he shouted back. 'Do you see the weather today, the storm wasn't forecast, I think Jane Bunn got it wrong for once.'

Suddenly something uncontrollable overcame me. Something menacing.

I raised my arm, pointed at him and yelled out, 'Unbeliever, unbeliever!'









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