It all began year approx 2 years I had a hard life yet the most thing that matter to me was my family and helping others I always try to be active and volunteer and work hard And be that single mom of a 14 years old Daughter to guide her in life Even with her disability and my struggles I wouldn't change it I always try to please other and put others before me That is what always made me happy giving and helping I didn't need to know a person to say I will help you Not knowing if they just was using me for my help On Dec of 2016 approx My life took a change yet not for the best.I always worked closely with the homeless as a supervisor In saturdays Morning I would always meet my brother at my job .And I would wake up every morning at 5am and get ready And be at work  by 7.30am On Friday Dec of 2016 approx 1.30am I receive a call From his cell phone And they ask if I So and so  and I reply yes So they continue And said your brother has passed away I was saying this is a dream As I sat up and looked at the cell I realize they was calling me from his cell I told them please stop the joking around I told my self it was impossible I had spoke to him on that Friday about 6 pm And he was find and everything seems great Yet I was really in denial I told them please stop I forgive you for playing this joke just put him on the phone And they said this is not a joke At that point I was yelling screaming and etc They told me I need to go to indentify  the body So I took the information I called up my daughter god mother and took a cab and went down and indentify the body .I made all the arrangement and his body was put at rest My mom took it really hard as well as my 14 yrs old Yet one thing for sure it broke me down I started to loose interest in life I started to isolate myself from the world The only thing I would do is take care my daughter and be there for her and mom made sure they both had their emeals and homework was done with my daughter and etc Yet when I was home all alone I will cry and cry if sadness When my daughter get home I would not aloud her to see me cryingYet at times it was overwhelming It took a whole turn on me I lost motivation lack of interest I started loosing weight hair falling and etc They finally one day Me and my mother  and daughter decide to go to have some fry cuchifrito And we went with our friend He drove to this place in bklyn As we are in the car driving I became ill And I started to fill chills And throwing up and shaking And sweats My mother thought it was becuase I sad hungry Yet that was not the case My friend said let take her to the emergency I refuse all I said give me some time and I be find Well my friend bought me club soda and for my nausea After an 1hr I got a bit better So I decide to go eat at that point We sat and has our lunch and After that I said I want to go home and Rest We drive home and I was not feeling good 100% yet I am strong and it was time to go to bed I woke up again feeling dizzy and the blood pressure headache and etc started again At this point I took a cab to my Primary doctor And it was early For the doctor to arrive at the clinic Yet the receptionist was there and the physician  assistant was there As I walk in the receptionist said you don't look okay I replied I am not okay I looked like a ghost Well I saw the physician assistant and he also said I do t look Well He took me in to the room and check my blood pressure and vitals and Sure enough my vitials was high and low Well I told them I will go get something to eat They said no problem I got Kentucky fried chicken As I waited for the doctor he check me and ask what brings me to the office And I told home I was nit feeling well for days Yet his reply was after checking my pressure That I was fine and nothing was wrong Yet deep down I new something was not right So I decide to go home and make an appointment with the rheumatologist at another clinic It was I knew I was sick with Lupus for some reason When I was 9 my first experience with death was at age 9 I lost my best friend of Lupus And I always felt like I had it Well the doctor ask me what brings me to her office and I said I got sick so bad To the point I was sweating And I told her I thing I have Lupus and she said why and I proceed to explain She said I will do some blood work up and etc And once I get the results I will call you Sure enough I got that call That I had SLE and need to start Meds and treatment asap Well I been in treatment for about 1yr going on 1/2 And I tell you I been through a bit of a roller coaster From severe fatigue To hair loss To flares in my face legs The pain is really to a point I don't know weather to sit or stand or sleep My weight is from looking healthy to looking sick My eyes are from looking sick To looking like I am depressed or have not slept My appetite been a roller coaster as well yet I still push through everyday to be there for my mom and daughter I go through so many appointments From a pulmonlgy to a cardiologist to a Primary and therapy for my joints Botox for headache Neurologist As well as shots and knee doctor Hand doctor Back doctor Foot doctor And epelisey doctor wow that is a long list My treatments for Lupus I am on  once  plaquenil 1tab twice a day and Benlysta month and on a new Med for SCLE new Lupus diagnose Mycophenolate Asthma Meds Epelisey medication high blood pressure Meds and fibromyalgia pain etc Yet I refuse to give up Every day my sleep is interrupt by my Lupus My joint pain is like a roller coaster This Also gives you aniexty Depression if You don't take control of it I tell you Lupus is real I am 50 yrs of age And the struggle is real My dream is to help others In any way I can And the message in this personal life of mine Is that life has a toll on you and if you aloud it it will destroy you And as far as some doctors They could really make wrong judgement Doctor need to listen to their patients Us as individuals Weather you are a women or men If something don't feel right check yourself Ir get another opinion Dint aloud any one tell you other As we speak my goal form this short story of my personal life dealing with SLE and SCLE is real and we need to find a cure And this is a disability How could we have a regular 9 to 5pm job and feel sick one day next ok What job will aloud you to take off when you sick in a constant base We need a change immediately Together as one today I hope that we find a cure The end