Hello homosapians , My name is Rowena Ursula Balafonte Yo. But most people call me Ruby. Ruby Jean to be exact. This is my journal. My father is Indian Chinese and my mother is Chuukese Filipino. There is no relavence to that, I just thought you'd want to know.

This is the beginning of the most craziest insane most outrageous sometimes sad but mostly happy story about me and everything that goes on in my life. For starters, I am a lesbian. Haha.. Just kidding.. I like Dick. My bestfriend Kiana is a Lesbian. That's cool with me, but i swear, the minute i see fingers coming towards my precious package,Maybe I'll let her continue... No ... Wait ... No I must not ... For I am straight. 

Well I have three Bestfriends. Kiana, the Butch. Asia, the white girl and Gemma, the one with really nice hair. Not as nice as mine of course because I did win "best hair" in high school. But you know, it's aight. 

With Bestfriends, i also have three enemies. Iris, my spoiled stepsister who makes Badass YouTube videos. Lean, an old friend in middle school who threw tampons at me in the girls locker room when I first got my period in 8th grade gym class. That was awful 😭. Then Lastly, the worst Of the three enemies, Hannah. Freshmen year, I had a crush on this kid Dennis, but Hannah swooped in and took him away from me. Junior year, I met another guy by the name of Marlon, oh he makes my vagina moist. But it seems as though it made Hannah's vagina as moist and she took him away from me as well. I'm a freshmen in college now and I'm not seeing anyone but just you wait. Hannah will come in and take away the guy I first lay eyes on.

My father died when I was 2 so I didn't know him. My mother married a man named Don who already had Iris. Speaking of Iris, one time I asked for me to be in one of her YouTube videos and she told me that I would be the main reason to her  YouTube channels failure. I really didn't know what to think of it. She only has like 7 subscribers and one of them is herself with an old account. 

Mom says I have to be nice to her because she is older than me. Yeah by like 3 days. Seriously, mom and dad tried to let us celebrate our birthdays together when we turned 13. That was horrible. She got everything she asked for and when I was hoping I got that "Easy Cake Oven for teenagers" and my mom got it... But for Iris. The birthday cake also said Happy 13th Iris and Ruby but when no one was looking, Iris thought she saw a fly and smashed the part of the cake that said "Ruby". 

To be nice, she made me a small strawberry cake with what was supposed to be mine "easy cake oven". She knew I was allergic to strawberry... That bitch. She also switched all the invites so that only her friends could go to the party. I fucking hate her!

 It was summer 2014. Me, Kiana, Asia and Gemma went camping at lake Susupe. Worst summer of my life. Kiana forgot her tent (obviously an excuse to sleep with one of us girls), Gemma caught a cold and Asia looked way better than me in a bikini. What the fuck right?

Gemma was so sick, we had to isolate her in Asia's tent. Having it all to herself while Asia and Kiana bunked in my tent who let me remind you can only sleep two. The first night, You could hear Gemmas sinus and snoring in the other tent. In my tent, Asia had just eaten smores before bed and she is lactose intolerant, so she kept on farting. Kiana kept telling me to scooch closer to her and I was like ... Bitch I told you I like Dick! 

In the morning, it seemed as though a bear raided what was left of the food and we had to fend for ourselves in the woods. Gemma brought back some leaves that she was going to mix with water to make her feel better and two hours later she was even more sick... Yup she drank a poison leaf almost simalar to poison ivy but slightly safer. 

We knew Gemma could no longer continue with her condition so we decided to pack up and go back to our Town. When we got to the car, we all realized that fucking Kiana left the keys in the car. Which was probably another way of getting closer to us girls 😑

As if it couldn't get any worse. With no phone reception to call for help, we had to get back to town on foot or atleast try to get a signal. Asia led the way. Asia was a Girl Scout (typical white girl) so she knew where she was going. WRONG. 

She led us to a trail that had signs with the words "STOP. GO BACK. SNAKES AND BEARS AHEAD" 

Asia thought going through the trail was faster so we ignored the signs and went. Well we finally managed to come across the highway. We all made it out unscathed. Poor Gemma though. For some odd reason. A snake managed to get into her backpack and it bit her neck. So in the end she was sick, got more sick and then got bitten by a snake. I was suprised she wasn't dead. She was sick and her neck grew to the size of a Watermelon.