"I hate you! All of you! Stop meddling with my life! Mind your own fucking businesses!"
 

"That's what you like? Fine! Enjoy living your messed up life!" 
 

My best friend yelled at me and walked away. As if i'm going to beg her to stay.
 

"That's why I left you. You don't act like yourself anymore. Stop acting like a child, Josh. Grow up!"
 

"Wow. Says the boy who breaks up with his girlfriend through text! Don't be such a coward! Tell me why you broke up with me! You're such a dick! Oh wait. I doubt you even have one. hate you! I hate you!"
 

My vision isn't clear and tears are flowing heavily down my cheeks. I keep on smacking Paul's chest and he does not even try not to keep me from doing it. He doesn't have a right to tell me what to do. I became like this because of him. He broke my heart into pieces. He knew that I'd give my everything to him but still he left me. 
 

Suddenly two hands were placed on at the back of my shoulders. I turned, following the person's gaze and I was shocked. Why is he here? I looked back at Paul but he vanished out of nowhere.
 

"Don't do this to yourself, Joshiene. You deserve better"




 

"JOSHIEEEEEEEEENEEE! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!"


 

I opened my eyes lazily. The sun's ray is passing through my window and causing pain in my eyes. My body is slightly bouncing on the mattress. 
 

"LESTEEEEEERRRR!"


 

"Wakey wakey joshyy" he said giggling and still keeps on jumping on my bed. What a great way of starting the day.


 

"One.."
 

Still jumping.


 

"Two.."


 

Jump. Jump. Jump.


 

"Oooh kid you better run or you'll regret doing that for the rest of..."


 

"Woooaaaaaah! Mommyyyyyy!" he jumped out of bed and ran going out of the room


 

"Oh no you don't"


 

my legs are longer than him so I easily caught and grabbed him.


 

"So this is what you want huh? You little squishy pumpkin! "
 

"Jo..sssh Noooo! Ahhhh! hihi.. Noooo.."


 

"Here comes the tickle monstaaaaah!"


 

"Aaaaaah! Stop.. Nooo..Josh.."


 

"I.Won't.Stop"


 

"Joshiene! Lester! You both stop what you're doing! You are too noisy!"


 

I let go of my brother. He's hugging his knees and I lay beside him as we catch our breaths.
 

"Well, you better stop jumping on my bed like you're about to let the springs out of it and ruining my beauty sleep before it's too late kid"


 

"Nevarrr! You no booty niways"


 

"Les, bi-yu-ti not booty. And let's feed the dogs now and get ready for school, erkay?"


 

I stood and carried him. Lester and I are pretty close. We bond most in the morning before going to school. I don't  want him to grow up feeling that he has no family. Our parents aren't at home most of the time because of loads of work and shit they need to do in their company. Since the business was passed over by my grandparents to my parents, there is no time that we are complete in this house. Lester is just five and he needs to be guided and loved. Things aren't going well in this house, I thought of leaving before but when Paul came into my life, he let me realize that my brother needs me, and I should not only think of myself.
 

But Paul and I are not together anymore. And that isn't a reason for me to change my thoughts and leave my brother by himself in this house. Speaking of Paul, why the fuck did I dreamt of him again? 
 

I got only four freaking hours of sleep and I am planning to skip school today. It's not like before that I don't miss a single day blowing my head out in algebra and disecting frogs in my lab subject. Not today. Today I don't care anymore. I've changed and everything around me is welcoming my new self.


 

"Joshiene, you take your brother to school. Let Dex drive you two. I need to go now."
 

Well, I really don't care. I stayed silent and just nodded. 
 

"Bye mommy"
 

Lester said I don't know if she heard it but she went straight out the door without waving goodbye to him. He sighed and pouted.


 

"Les, eat your pancakes now. I'll drive you to school, okay? Let's hide from Dex"


 

I patted his head and smiled to lighten up the mood.
 

By the way, Dex is my chauffeur since kindergarten. I grew up with him and yeah, he's really nice and like a family to me. 




 

--


 

After a ride to Les' school, I went straight to Northridge.


 

I parked my car and noticed a black Ferrari beside my parking spot. Who the fuck owns this? This is what I wanted for my birthday and shit it's gorgeous! I went near it and my hands gently touched the hood and the mirror. Oh my gosh shit just got real. I was about to go at the back of the car to see it's beauty once again but the bell rang. Great.




 

I was panting like a dog as I was catching my breath when I reached my room. I should've stuck on my plan not attending class. I noticed that Ms. Wesley is writing something on the board. I went inside with my chin up feeling that eyes are all over me.


 

"Ms. Williams, what a pleasant surprise. This has been your earliest time attending my class"


 

Mike Scott, a nerd that has a body sized to a toothpick and I swear his glasses are like of a magnifying glass,  started clapping his hands and everyone followed. They may not seem to notice who clapped his hands first cause I tell you if they knew that Scott did it, they'd be throwing him at the window.


 

"Whatever" I muttered and went to my seat.


 

Actually, I don't really hate Ms. Wesley's class. Her's is one of my faves but it's just that schools are killjoys to start classes before the rooster has even crow in the morning. You get the point. 


 

It's lunch time now and Cassandra is nowhere to be found. My heels are clacking against the floor and people are giving way as I enter the canteen. They knew me too well in this school. Of course who doesn't know the Williams who owns almost every business establishments in the city.


 

I got my food on my lunch tray and sat on the seat where Cass and I eat. Where is that girl anyway?


 

"Oh my gosh! Really, Jenna? I saw him a while ago and he's is just an epitome of perfection.."
 

"Yeah, totally! he's in my algebra class.. you know he...."


 

I searched for the people talking like they were on mountains. I saw Cass with Linda, a popular one. Why is she with that bitch? Thoughts of what happened yesterday came running in my mind. Crap. She's still angry with me.


 

I pushed my tray infront of me and put my elbows on the table, covered my face with my hands.I feel ugh. You know ugh? Yeah, Ugh.




 

"Hi, Josh" a familiar voice interrupting my mind.


 

I looked up and saw a familiar face who owned that familiar voice. I'm crazy.


 

"Holy shit!" I exclaimed in surprise.


 

"Hi to you, too" he smiled widely and sat infront of me. Why is he here?


 

"What are you doing here?"


 

"Eating lunch?" he answered making it sound like a question. I looked at him in confusion as he started taking a bite of his sandwich. I grabbed mine too and munch it




 

"What?"
 

I put my sandwich down, stared at him and I folded my arms on my chest. 


 

"Are you stalking me?" He looked at me horrified, or like disgusted. What? I'm going to kill this person. He was just staring at me too and there was glint in his eyes.




 

"Yep. And I was with you since last night. In your house, your room, bathr.."




 

" What the.." 


 

I began coughing like something has been lodged in my throat. 




 

"Shit! You're chocking!" 


 

I stood up, he did too and my hands are on my neck. Fuck that sandwich. He looked like he knew what to do. He went at my back and pulled me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I felt something different. Disgustingly different. Don't think about that now,Joshiene! He gave me quick abdominal thrusts and I can now breathe fully and I feel relieved. 


 

"Wow what have just happened." 


 

He whispered. I turned my back and looked at his blue eyes and was about to thank him but at the corner, I saw Cassandra glaring at me. Not just her, everyone in the canteen. I noticed Cedric's arms were still around my waist and we look like we were causing a public display of affection.




 

He seemed to notice that too and let go of me immediately. I raised an eyebrow at the people and just sat again. They all went back to their seats too and the room is now filled with noise, whispers and talkshits like nothing happened. 

"I know that we are upside down, so hold your tongue and hear me out. I know that we were made to break. So what? I don't mind. You kill the lights, I'll draw the blinds. Don't dull the sparkle in your eyes. I know that we were made to break so what? I don't mind. Are you gonna stay the night? Are you gonna stay the night? Oooh ooohh ohhh, are you gonna stay the night?"
 

The music is blaring loud on the speakers, beat's radiating all over my body and I'm numb. I wonder why I'm not yet dizzy with the amount of beers and shots I took. My body must have been used to the liquid I take everday. Oh well. Nothing's changed.

 

"Josh, we need to go home. Got school tomorrow. Ajfjcsmxksksjdhskdjakdjfk"


 

"Whaaaaat? I can't heaaaar youuuu!"  I answered to what Cassandra is telling me. 


 

"Stop yelling  you life wrecking party person! School. Tomorrow. Home. Now." She said while taking the bottle I'm holding. I could tell that she's not comfortable with this place, too loud music and too crowded. She's looking at me straight in the eye with her cheeks heated up and her breathing is too fast. She's angry. Whatever. I leaned to get my drink back but I couldn't reach it.
 

"You are no fun Cassandra. Why are you here anyway? It's Friday night where else would I go? Give me my drink back and go get yours if you like or go home and stop acting like my mother or anything"
 

I tried reaching for the bottle again but she dropped it and it hit the ground. Now my beer is all over the floor. Just great.
 

"Who the hell are you? What the fuck did you do to my best friend? You know what? I am trying to do my best to help you but you're just there doing whatever you want. Your life does not only revolve around Paul! Ugh forget it! I'm so tired of your shit anymore. Go! Drown yourself with alcohol! I don't care! "
 

I froze on my spot. Crap. Some people have heard and saw the small scene that have just happened. Cassandra is about to move out but turned back looking at me again.

"And just so you know, it's Monday night. Idiot"

And with that she went away. Great. I've lost Paul, and now my best friend. Some people are staring at me with weird expressions.  My mind really can't process what's happening right now but all I know is I'm totally fucked up.


 

————

"Paul, where are we going?"

"Shhhhh. It's a surprise" he said with full smile. 

"Great. You really know me too well. I love surprises! Are you taking me to the park? With lots of balloons or wait, clowns and suddenly my friends will pop out of nowhere holding a cake and yell 'Happy birthday Josh' — ow! why'd you hit me?"

I'm literally being dragged by this guy and I have no single idea where he is taking me. We ditched school and I didn't totally agree with that because I worked for a three page essay for literature that should be submitted today, and oh haven't mentioned that I stayed up until 4 and had two freaking hours of sleep cause my little genius brother jumped on my bed, waking me up so we could feed the dogs on time. And yeah—- 

"Geez! Stop hitting me!"

Ouch. Strike two.

"Shut up. Just shut up Joshiene"

After five minutes of being kidnapped by my own boyfriend, finally we stopped. He let go of me and my hands landed on my knees as I try to catch my breath. 

"So?" 

"So?"

I cocked an eyebrow trying to tell him that I'm not in the mood to play games right now.

"So what can you say?"

" About what Paul? We ditched school for us to go to an abandoned building? What is this place anyway? "

He scratched his head and looked at me like I'm stupid.

"Tell me what can you say about this place"

"Uhm.. creepy?"

He bit his bottom lip trying to hide his laughter. What is wrong with what I've said? This place looks really creepy. It's like a haunted house or something. Everything is covered with dust and there are a lot of spider webs around. 

"What? You took me here to ask me if what I can say with this place? Take me home or I'll kill—"

"What if we move in to this place after graduation? What can you say?"

Shocked. Astonished by the question. 

"I..I..uhm..I"

Seriously, I'm out of words. He came near me and put his hands on my shoulders. His face looked amused.

"This place would be perfect for the two of us. It just need to be cleaned, painted, and we'd pick the furniture that would fit. Right?"

"But, Paul? What about college? We've already discussed this a few times."

I really don't want to ruin the moment. A guy just asked me to move in after graduation and that's really thoughtful and sweet of him to plan his future with me. I should be crying and jumping out of joy right now but something doesn't feel right. Paul and I have already agreed that I'd be going to NYU to finish a degree. He wants us to stay here together and said that we don't need to go to college because we can just take over the business of our parents. What's wrong is that I have my plans already and have decided what to do and how to spend my life in the future but Paul is not in it. 

"Baby, look.. we can talk about that some other time, okay?" he cupped my cheek and looked at me in the eyes

I stared at him not knowing what to say.

"Please?"

I sighed and looked away trying to stop my tears. 

"Sorry, Paul."

"Shhhh. Don't." his lips landed on my forehead and gave a peck. I hugged him tight and burried my head on his chest. I'm so thankful that he's with me right now. I'm unsure of some things between us concerning the future but I know.. deep inside I know I love him the way he should be loved.

"Happy birthday, Josh" 

—

"Miss? Hey"

Hmmmm. 

"Pst! Wake up!"

"Paul?" I whispered. My eyes are too lazy to open. Gosh.

"There there. Wake up now woman"

"P..pa..paul"

"What? No. I'm no Paul. I'm Cedric"

"Cedric. I love... WAIT, WHAT?!" I got up immediately and my neck snapped. Ouch! My head hurts really bad. It's like someone smashed my head with a baseball bat. And who the fuck is Cedric? I thought I am with Paul and... Oh my. It's just a dream again. Joshiene you dummy. Why will Paul be with you after you two broke up? ha-ha-ha you're a big joke

"Why are you laughing?"

I came back to reality and someone is staring at me. I can only describe this someone in one word...FREAKING HOT!  Oh, two words I mean. He has those eyes like the sky with long lashes, perfect nose, and pinkish lips that looks like he's a good kisser. His body is toned well. And his eyes. Oh my gosh his eyes, I love those eyes. How many times have I said eyes? Stop. Who is this person?

"Well, thank you. Are you done checking me out?" he said with a smirk. Oh shit. He has dimples! 

"Can I pinch your cheeks?"

He laughed hard. The sound echoed the entire room. And I have no idea why.

"ha-ha..pfft.. Pinch my cheeks? What am I? Five?" 

I'm pretty sure I look like a tomato right now. Really Joshiene? You have said what's on your mind out loud? You loser! 

I glared at him. He maybe look like an Abercrombie model but acts like an ass.

"Uh, sorry?" He said while biting his lip to control himself from laughing

"Whatever. Where am I anyway? And who are you?"

"I'm Cedric Andrews and this is my room." 

Why am I in somebody's room? All I can remember is that I... shoot

"I was at the bar, probably drunk and.."

"Ta-da! you're here cause I took you home. Brilliant!" 

"Took me home? What the hell does that mean?"

I looked at my body under the sheets and thank God I'm still wearing my clothes. I was about to throw the book my hand grabbed without noticing at him.

"Sheez! I would have left you lying asleep at the bar but I'm a caring handsome man so I didn't. Thanks to me! And calm yourself! I've got no interest on you. Not a bit"

"Asshole" I muttered

I covered my face with both hands and stuck on that position to reduce the dizziness and pain of my head. We were both silent for fifteen minutes, I think?

"So, Paul eh?"

Looking at him with a confused expression, he just stare at me waiting for an answer

"What about him?" 

He licked his lips and sat on the other side of his bed. 

"You actually mentioned that name twice. I don't know if you were dreaming or awake that time"

Oh. 

"Nothing. Someone in the past. You don't really wanna know it"

I said with a low voice and I let out a fake smile. Thoughts of Paul came running in my mind again. How could he leave such a strong impact on me. My body is heating up and I can feel my tears trying to escape 

"I can keep up" He looked at me and moved closer. Now he's sitting in front of me and my heart is beating fast.  There's something in his eyes that reassures that I can trust him. I don't know what game he's playing but what makes him interested with Paul?
 

"Well. Uh. Paul is my ex boyfriend."
 

He nodded 
 

"And yeah, still,I haven't moved on"
 

I thought he'd laugh at me but he was silent .I don't know what's on his mind. His right hand is rubbing his chin and he is looking at me.
 

"What? Is this the time you'd laugh your lungs out and tease me because I'm a pathetic loser who can't get over my ex boyfriend? Or yell 'stupid' on my face a hundred times?"


 

"I can help you move on"
 

Bastar... Wait.. Have I heard him right? His voice was serious. No crack. Last time I remember he was just fooling around then seconds later he's damn serious. Well, is he?


 

"Actually, you don't need to. I'm fine" I smiled. What is he up to?
 

"No you're not. I'll help you let go of everything you need to let go. Trust me"
 

My eyebrows furrowed. My head still hurts and I'm so confused of the situation I'm in right now. I want to go home and curl up on my bed and cry myself to sleep. I got out of bed and put my shoes on. 
 

"You know what? Forget it. I'm going home now. Thank you for not leaving me a while ago. And yeah"
 

I grabbed my purse and  hurried to the door. I heard steps behind me and I was spun around by him
 

"I'll accompany you down the street. Making sure you'd get a ride" he smiled and opened the door leading me out.
 

—

"Uhm, so.."
 

"You can call me Josh"
 

Here we are stood in front their house waiting for a taxi. Now he's staring at me and looks like he's disgusted
 

"What?"
 

"Josh? What the fuck! You're a man?! Shit! So that's the reason why my charm doesn't work on you"
 

He is moving, more like panicking, and his face is so red.

"Hahahahahaha!" I burst out laughing. I can't help it. I should be hurt or offended but no. That look on his  face.. priceless
 

"Dude why didn't you tell me? We were on the same bed and..."


 

"No.. pfft...no.! Joshiene Williams. Everyone calls me Josh. Idiot"
 

"Oh." He looked surprised and ashamed by the realization
 

"Who the heck names their daughter Josh? It's a guy's name"
 

"My parents. Smartass"
 

"Well,uhm, Josh, I should give you a ride home but my mom borrowed my car so.."
 

"It's fine." 
 

I let out a small chuckle. Finally an empty cab is approaching. To be honest, I don;t know what to do before separating with Cedric. Maybe a hug? No. A kiss? Nah. 
 

"Josh?"
 

"Ah-huh?"


 

"Think about what I said earlier. I'll help you. "
 

"Uh, okay? I'll think about it then. How can I contact you?"
 

"Oooh so we're on the first stage.. Exchange contacts, get to know each other.. what else? uhm.. "
 

"Shut up, Just give me your cell number"
 

"Bossy. It's saved on your phone already"  
 

The cab is now in front of me. I opened the door and went inside. 
 

"Wait" Cedric grabbed the door's handle
 

"What?" I asked with confusion
 

"Can I pinch your cheeks before you go?" his smile twisted with a full smirk. I shut the door close, leaving him with both hands raised
 

"Jerk"

"Hey, you free after school?"

"Why ask?"

"If you are, I'd like to take you somewhere"

"What makes you think I'd go with you?"

 "Cause I'm hot and I know you'd love to go somewhere with me?"

"Ha! You wish"

"Okay look I'm sorry about what happened at lunch. I didn't know you'd react like that. And, you are totally over acting about it right now. It's not like I dig the sandwich in your throat or something.."

"Me?" Pointing to myself
 

"Over acting? Oh boy, I don't even know you yet you're here inside my school, following me wherever I go. And.. you are the one who is over acting about what I've said. You asked me then I replied. What's the big deal?"

My nerves are getting into him. I don't know but this day just didn't start pretty well. I woke up with a nightmare. Yep, I consider it a nightmare from people in my past with this good looking boy who's unbelievably studying now in my school. Great.
 

"What is into you? Pms-ing?"

 

I glared at him and he threw his ams up.
 

"Okay, so if not.. Why are you being so annoyed for no reason?"

"Oh. You want me to tell the truth? You.Are.Annoying. And you know why I can't stand a minute being with your presence here? Cause I've been through a lot of bullshit these past few days and I don't want to hear people talking about me flirting with a new hot eye melting sexy student in the campus who looks like he's used to dumping women every week. And just so you know, I don't really care what they say, but when it comes to boys, I'd fucking kill"

 

I felt that he was just staring at me as I was fixing my things inside my locker. I closed it with enough force and faced him. I can't tell what his eyes are telling. I don't know but I was like frozen for a second just staring at his blue eyes. 
 

"So you think I'm a hot eye melting sexy person?"

 

He raised his brows up and down. Geez.

 

"Don't be so full of yourself"
 

He stared at me for moment again. Why is he doing this always?
 

"Why do you judge easily?"

"What kind of question is that huh? "

"You. Don't. Fucking. Know. Me."

"Yeah, I don't. So stay away from me"

"So stop jumping into conclusions if you really don't know what the truth is."

With that he went away. Now who's overacting. Or maybe I really did over act. I know there's something  inside me that's hurt to what he have just said. It's like he hit my ego. In the first place, he did not even know me yet he acted nice to me even though I was acting like a bitch to him. 

 

God. Why is people used to leaving me hanging? 
 

--


 

I was dismissed from my last subject and I was heading to my locker. I stopped in the middle of the hallway seeing my ex boyfriend with Linda flirting with each other near the lockers. What is he doing here? How foolish of him to be around where I go even with what he did. I would like to turn around but my feet is glued into the ground. Oh great they might notice me looking at them.

 

Walking towards my direction, I saw Cedric. Talking about good timing. I yanked his arm and I intertwined mine with his. 

 

"What the hell.." He blurt out
 

"Just keep quiet"
 

"Geez. What are you.."
 

"Shhhhh shut up."

"You haven't mentioned that there'll be a reunion"

Paul noticed us walking towards where they are and slighly pushed the girl away from him. When we were now in front of them, I smiled at Paul and he's about to say something but I interrupted.

 

"Hey, what's up"
 

Really Josh? Hey what's up? I really wanted to yell at his face and strangle him and the girl beside him glaring at me with my bare hands but my mind keeps telling me to keep calm and let things be.
 

"Uhm, nothing much. How are you, Josh?"
 

He replied and shrugged. Asshole. He still has the guts to ask me how I've been. 
 

"Better than ever." I managed to smile. Cedric lightly elbowed me without Paul noticing. He might have got what is happening right now. There was silence for about a minute and we four were just smiling and staring at each other. Talk about awkward situations.
 

"Babe we better go now. We should be ready for the party later"

 

I didn't look at Paul after hearing what the bitch have just called him. So she's the reason why he broke up with me? Tears started to corner in my eye and I wanted to ask him if they are together now.

 

"Ehem, so.." With Cedric's interjection, Paul looked at me with furrowed eyes more like confusion built up into him and is waiting for me to say something



 

"Oh, uhm..so.. Paul.. This is Cedric."

He just stared at Cedric waiting for me to say something more. My palms are getting sweaty. Say something Josh, say something.

"Her boyfriend."