As Eleanor grew older, the more she would forget.
"So why don't I write it down. Words were invented for recording, I should do it now while I’m still young and everything is fresh", she thought.
Some of her thoughts included; what if someone tells you there is a set of skills to help make sure someone wouldn't leave you? What’s your most intimate experience? How many times has someone text you "hey how you doing?" but you'd rather replied “um… um... yeah okay", creating a dead end.
Eleanor likes to picture her path with boys when she is washing herself. Eleanor has slept with a few people, but she found that the most memorable boys aren't those she has slept with.
Well, except Boy Number One.
(Writer's Ps: The story is true, but all the names have been changed and are taken from movies or TV series. Don't take it serious and think of anyone. The name Eleanor is from Blair's mom.)
The reason why Eleanor calls him Boy No.1 is because he is the first boy Eleanor talked about love with.
"How do I find someone that loves me?" she asked.
They were lying in bed and staring at each other. She looked at his eyes and thought, ‘these eyes are freakin’ big!’ But she didn't speak out. She just waited for his answer.
It was a dating app that brought them together, about one year before she asked this question. When they met, Eleanor had been convincing herself she is a good and nice girl. Boy No.1 was traveling and Eleanor was a bit bored at home. When they were texting the boy mentioned he saw a nice steak house near his hotel. “I'll probably check it out after a shower”, He said. But she replied in seconds, “What? You are traveling! You should eat something local and experience something local!”
“Ok, you should show me then.” He replied.
So Eleanor picked him up and took him to a giant food festival. They had a great time and the boy seemed like a really smooth guy, like he knew how to please a girl. However, things started to turn when they finally went to bed, especially when the boy said, “Sorry I can't do this, I need to know more about you.”
An alert was pumping loudly in Eleanor's brain. “No for god sakes. I just wanted a casual hook up. I should probably get going,” She thought.
Suddenly her brain kicked back, she wondered what this boy wanted to know about her. She though if he really wants to know her then she will give him what he wants.
She stayed until morning and had brunch with the boy. But Boy No.1 suddenly asked for her number and social network. “Ugh...This is even worse” She thought.
She felt like saying “Dude, do you know you this sounds like trouble?” But these words just floated on her tongue and were swallowed. “No, I am a good girl.” She thought.
She gave the boy her contact details and they had lots of experiences together after that, until he left her country 3 days later. It turns out this boy has some magic in him and the patience to build a relationship. Besides, at this time Eleanor was really into him.
After one year, Eleanor went to his country. She visited his hometown and they travelled together to another city in his country. This question had been on her mind for a long time and she quickly spat it out one morning after sex with Boy No.1. Eleanor had just decided to end her long hooking up phase, after a satisfying number of boys for her age. She felt like everything was just meaningless. She was ready for baptism of no ‘fuck boys’ and only serious relationships. Even if that sounds cliché.
The answer to her question was, “That's a hard question. Well, I believe you have probably met some serious boys that loved you, but did you love them? Eleanor, if you want someone that loves you, you need to know how to love someone.”
The definition of love varies. But how do you love someone? That's a question Eleanor never thought of.
Eleanor and Boy No.1 are still good friends. Mainly because he has a different perspective on everything and Eleanor can understand his deepest, crazy desires.
But one thing is for sure, they will never be together.