Sometimes love is the phenomenon that saves you, if it  consumes you then it will be the only thing you will remember forever even after death. Wearing memories as a coat in the deep corner of your soul. Now my heart is ready to let it all go, so much love made my heart stop finally. I just wanted her to know that all I did my entire eternal life was loving her no matter what. I found my strength on the weight of her love.I will find my strength in the lovely memories we shared, feeling heavy but keep moving because  wherever Subha is I know she is watching, I can only think she is.

    What if there is more than what we are used to? Its well known that India is one of the oldest civilization and some  said we are “Sa Prathama Sanskrati Vishvavara”, which means first and supreme culture in the world. Could you believe me if I tell you  I have more than 200 years existing and since then I've being looking for my one and only, Subha. She was the first lady I took as my wife. Her long and dark hair was beautified with flowers of lot of colors that our daughter Prabha picked up from our majestic garden full of life. Subha eyes were my door to happiness and an eternal pure love with green mixed  with the rainbow and both together my daughter and wife were my only bhakti (devotion). Keeping a diary  is a little hard when you have lived more than what you are supposed. What's wrong with me? Why i'm able to remember everything? It feels like a curse. The only thing I can do is think about the day I met my darling wearing her sari(dress) full of sequins, it was a mix of gold and  red; the combination of my goddess. Eventually we all die and our memories too but I was so clinged to the idea of us forever. What if I never overcome the idea of feeling alone in an eternal misery. I had several identities, I used to be Sameer Patel in 1817. I was born in Uttar Pradesh next to the Yamuna river which is the fifth and  longest river in all India. My mother used to pray next to it because she said that it bring great hope into your life.