I can't tell you how much I love him. It's too much for even me to understand the amount. I remember the day I fell for him as clear as day. It was a very rainy day, of course. That's how all these cheesy stories start out right? I was new in school-- hold on, it gets cheesier. He stood up for me when I was getting bullied. From just the sight of him, my heart stopped. It was unpleasant at first, but then he gave a reassuring smile and my heart started beating erratically. I felt my face burn at the sheer elegance of his smile. I thought I was going ot faint right there on the spot. He pat me on the head-- seeing as I was much shorter than him. I watched him as he walked down the hall and rounded the corner. I swear to high power that I squealed like a little fangirl. I know what you're thinking, "I've read so many other stories like this one", but you're wrong. Not many people have this. I know, I know. "This is just some stupid story about a boy falling in love with the boy that saved him and they end up together in the end". No. This story is different. You'll find out why shortly. I just want to keep you waiting and see if you would have expected the end to ever happen. This is a short story, but it'll be the best one you've read so far.
"Because, if you could love someone, and keep loving them, without being loved back . . . then that love had to be real. It hurt too much to be anything else."
― Sarah Cross, Kill Me Softly
I've seen him at least twenty times today. On purpose, of course. Now, it's not like I'm stalking him or anything. I have some of the same classes as him. That, was pure luck. Or fate as I like to call it. I'm in my last class now and it has him in it. Oh, I've failed to mention our names. My name is Floyd. Floyd Wiley. The boy I love's name is Jeremy Anderson. He's beautiful. With those bright green eyes, those soft brown locks of hair-- don't ask how I know that-- and that pulchritudinous smile. I told him that I thought his smile was puchritudinous, but he freaked out. He later explained that he has hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia. It means "fear of long words". He didn't necessarily tell me his phobia. His best friend yelled at me, saying that he had the phobia. I didn't know. I guess you find something new about your crush every day. Anyway, back to the present. I slowly change from my regular school clothes and into my gym clothes, watching Jeremy change from the other side of the room. He never participates, but he always changes. That's okay with me, but it's pointless. I hurry and go out to the football field where gym class is always held. I run my laps and lay down in the grass, exhausted from all the running. Jeremy comes over and sits beside me.
"You always finish first. Why do you like running so much?"
I think of a quick excuse. What could I say that won't sound like I'm only doing it to impress him by how physically built I am? I smile when I come up with an okay excuse. "I want to join sports and I need to be fit for that." Oh, how I wish I could just tell him the truth. He is so oblivious to my feelings.
"Floyd! We're playing dodgeball! You're on our team!" I groan at the sound of my friend, Cameron, interrupting my time with Jeremy.
Jeremy and I are friends, but only when he wants to talk to me. I don't talk to him otherwise or else I feel as if I am being a nuisance. I stand up and go to my friends, leaving Jeremy to sit alone in the grass.
Jeremy sits in the bleachers with some of the other non-athletic kids.
I get distracted when I see him smiling and laughing witht he others and get hit in the face by a flying dodgeball. Okay, that was my bad. It really hurt.
"Shit. You okay, Floyd?" Cameron asks, jogging over to me. "Do you have any more brain damage than you already had?" He jokes.
I punch his shoulder and get up from the ground. "I think I'm going to go to the nurse. I'll see you after school." I walk over to the coach and tell him where I'm going. My head really hurts. Maybe I can spend the night at the hospital for trauma? I get to the nurses office ad she makes me take medicine and lay down on one of the beds behind a curtain to rest. I lay down, but I do anything but rest. I can't stop thinking about Jeremy's smile. It's what first caught my interest in him. Not to mention those bright eyes that pull you in like a bug to a zapper.
I never told you my appearance. I'm about six feet and six inches tall-- a whole foot taller than Jeremy-- with light blonde hair and a football players build. I'm not, like, super muscular, but I have enough. I have muscle, yes, but I don't like violence. I'm a Pacifist. I have never hit anybody. That's why I am still living the way I am. I'm beat up every day at home by my father. I still love him though. He has a good reason for it. I'm his only son and I'm gay. Because of my homosexuality, I can't give him the grandchildren he's always wanted. I can't give him a beautiful daughter-in-law. In general, I can't give him a past to be proud of.
"Mr. Wiley, your mother is here to take you home."
Oh? Did she tell me earlier that I'm going home? "Okay." I leave the room, saying goodbye to the nurse.
I smile at my mother when she sees me walking down the hall. She's holding my backpack and my neatly folded clothes in her hands. "Hey, Mama. Sorry you had to come get me," I apologize as I near her.
She gives me a warm, gentle smile-- the kind only a mother can give-- and shakes her head at me. "It's fine, baby. I was nearby anyways. Are you feeling okay? I can take you to the doctor? Are you dizzy or anything?"
I chuckle at her worried tone and tell her I'm fine. She continues to worry as we leave the school and head home. My mom is such a worrywart. Her constantly worrying over me is sometimes annoying. I like it though. Whenever dad hits me, she takes care of my injuries. She's tried to stop him from hurting me before, but that just led to her getting hit as well. That was on accident though. My dad freaked out when he hit her and hit me for it before he hurried to tend to her. She wasn't hurt that bad, thankfully.
She started listing off things that would be good for dinner, occasionally asking me what I thought would be nice. I'd give her simple answers and she'd leave it at that. When we pulled into the driveway, I noticed my dad wasn't homeyet. I excused myself to my room after gathering my things from my mom so I could rest a bit until my dad got home. I promised mom that I would help with dinner, so I set my alarm for around five o'clock and fall into a sweet slumber. I dreamt of Jeremy like I usually do. I dreamt of him accepting my feelings and us living happily ever after. Like in a fairytale. Oh, how awesome that would be.
After dinner, I got my usual beating from my father then I went up to my room when my mother finished fixing me. I still have bruises, but they can be covered easily.
I fall back to sleep after I take medicine for this crazy headache I've had for the past hour. It's early, but I need the sleep.
I wonder if I'm the only one. Do other kids have this? An abusive father and an unrequited love for someone who will never love you back. Why is my life so fucked?
"Floyd, buddy. You okay, man? You left out of nowhere. I thought we were gonna meet after school?"
I look up at Cameron from my lunch tray. "Sorry. My mom came to get me because the nurse called her. I forgot to tell you. I fell asleep as soon as I got home."
"You could've called me when you woke up. I know your mom makes sure you eat every meal."
I give him a frown and look back down at my tray. I look up at him after a few minutes and see his features darken.
"Oh." It was quiet for a while until the bell rings, signalling that our next class will begin in five minutes.
I threw away my untouched food. This is how I am when my situation at home is broguth up. Cameron here is my best and only true friend I have here. He's also the only person that knows of my home life. I'm popular, yeah, but none of these people are really my friends. I would consider Jeremy my friend, but his friends don't like me and he's never acknowledged me as one.
Cameron and I walk quietly, side by side to our next class. This is the only class we have together. We used to have all the same classes, but I guess we just don't have Senior's Luck. If that's even a real thing, which I know it isn't. We sit down at our desks, which are surprisingly not next to each other. The rest of the day went by in a blur. Even my last class. I didn't stay in the locker room to watch Jeremy change like I always do. I dit in the bleachers, but away from everybody. Jeremy doesn't seem to notice me at all sicne he hasn't come up to me yet. I stay there for the whole class, ignoring the coach by blasting my music in my earphones.
Once I heard the bell ring, I took off to the locker room and changed into my clothes quickly. I don't want o be here anymore. Maybe I can get home before dad does. Or maybe I don't even have to go home today? A hand slaps down on my shoulder and I jump, spinning round to find Cameron.
He laughs, "Did I scare ya? I know I did." He finishes his laughter then speaks again with a weird smile. "How about you come over to my place? You can spend the night?"
I ponder it for a moment then nod with a small smile. "Sure. Let me tell my mom real quick. Meet me at my car."
He smiles brightly and kisses my cheek before heading to his locker. I skip my locker becasue I don't have any homework to work on and head out to my car in the parking lot. I called my mom and told her that I was spending the night at Cam's. Since it's Friday, I won't have to get up early for school.
I stand outside my car and wait for Cameron. I look around the lot to see if he's coming and spot Jeremy. This is the first time today that I actually took in his appearance. He has that big smile like usual, but today it doesn't seem to reach his eyes. He's walking this way, but I can't stop staring at him. Suddenly, he looks over at me and smiles brightly. I quickly avert my eyes and face away from him and his friends. My face feels hot. Am I really blushing? Oh god. It's a dead give away.
"Hey! Floyd!" I calm myself and turn around to face Jeremy's friend, Chelsie. "You didn't look good earlier. Are you okay?"
I nod not trusting myself to conjure words without embarrassing myself.
She stares at me skeptically then gives me a once over. "Fine. I don't care anyways."
"Then why ask?" Cameron buds in as he walks over to stand beside me. "Can't you go a day without being a complete asshole to him?" He asks her.
She scoffs then walks off with the rest of her friends, including Jeremy.
"You shouldn't be driving. Give me the keys," Cameron says as he takes the keys from my front pocket.
I sigh as I get into the passenger seat after we put our stuff in the backseat. The ride there was long. I couldn't stop thinking about how his smile suddenly reached his eyes when he smiled at me. I flop down on his bed as he gets us food for a movie we are about to watch. I close my eyes and try to picture his smile again. I suddenly feel a weight on my chest. I open my eyes and smile at Cameron who is that weight. "What are you doing?" I ask as he just stares at me with a smile plastered on his face.
"Do you really want to watch a movie? We could always do something else?" He asks.
I know what he's implying, but should I? Isn't that taking advantage of him?
"Don't worry about me, Floyd. I'm fine with it. I am the one suggesting it. Plus, there's no strings attached."
I frown. "Fine."
He squeals like a fangirl and crashes his lips to mine.
Is this wrong?