I’m the girl whose friend disappeared. 

    That’s what everyone thinks, although they don’t say it. Sometimes they do. 

    At the moment I’m running. My feet hit the pavement hard, and my breathing is heavy. I turn from the main road, cutting down through the woods. Tiny branches reach out towards me, but I knock them aside and keep going. 

    It’s been two weeks since Chase left. The rumours are flying around school, and I’m so tired of being stared at like a science project. Some people think Chase’s pregnant, some think she’s been kidnapped, and others think she ran away with an older boyfriend. 

    I run until I can’t breathe, and then I keep running. Eventually I drop to the ground not far from the stream in the middle of the woods. I stare up at the sky for a few minutes, then close my eyes. 

    I lay like that for a while. I haven’t been sleeping too well lately, and it’s nice to not have to worry for a bit. As I watch, the sky lightens from a dark navy to a light blue. I start to unwind, feeling my tense muscles relax. 

    Then I hear a twig snap. 

    My eyes open, but I don’t move. There’s the sound of someone coughing, and I roll over to see who it is. I see a pair of beaten up trainers that seem vaguely familiar, and judging by the size that clearly belong to a guy. 

    I look up further, and see a face I definitely recognise. 

    “Are you okay?” he asks me. His dark hair is messy, his eyes are a light green, and he looks so similar to Chase that he makes me gasp. He’s Chase’s older brother, Nate.

    “Uh, yeah.” I say. I’m not sure whether to move or not. I decide to stand up, since it would probably make things less weird. Guessing what I’m doing he offers me my hand, and I take it as he helps me up. “Hi, Nate.”

    “Hey, Ash,” he replies, giving me an easy smile. “Long time no see.”

    I smile. “Yeah.” Why can’t I stop saying that? “I’m sorry about your sister.” 

    Nate seems incredibly interested in his trainers all of a sudden. “Yeah, me too.” Then he glances up at me. “Was she acting strange at all? Before she left?”

    I think back to the last time I saw her. “I don’t think so?”

    Nate nods, then pulls a pen and paper out of his pocket. “If you think of anything, or hear anything, here’s my number.” He hands over the slip of paper, and I tuck it in the pocket of my shorts. “I’ve got to get to class, so I’ll see you later. 

    Then he’s gone, disappearing into the woods. Taking a hint, I head towards home.

As the door to the coffee shop opens, I feel an icy burst of air ripple through the room. I shiver inside my warm clothes, despite the heat coming from the radiator next to me. The door slams shut again, and after a few moments the temperature returns to normal. The chill that I feel inside doesn’t thaw so easily though.

This place hadn’t been my choice when Chase had insisted we try this place out, but I can’t deny that it’s grown on me. Especially lately, because I’ve been spending so much time here. It almost feels like a home away from home. The whole place is totally kitch, with mismatched plates and mugs instead of cups. 

At the moment I’m sitting in the plush armchair in the corner, with the window on my right. Outside I can see snowflakes drifting in the light of the streetlamp, and I shiver again.  I take a sip of my hazelnut vanilla latte, a speciality, and by that a must-have, here. 

On the TV over the counter plays the news on an endless loop, and I sigh. Since this is a pretty small town there’s never much news. Instead they play the story of Chase’s disappearance over and over again. Suddenly it’s impossible to walk past the TV shop down the road. It’s been two weeks, and I can’t help but wish that something else would happen, just to get some relief from the monotony. But then I feel guilty, like I’m a bad person for not thinking about Chase every second of every day. 

I look up, and see the cute barista behind the counter smiling at me, but I look down at my drink. Instead I focus on stirring the whipped cream into it, although I’d rather just eat it straight from the spoon. Chase always said I was too shy.

Someone turns the volume of the TV up as a picture of Chase’s face fills the screen. It’s her school picture, the one we all had to take a few months earlier. Her straight dark hair sweeps across her forehead, and her bright green eyes are as mischievous as always. She looks elven, and ready for anything. 

“The local police have no new leads on the disappearance of Chase Collins. However, they do encourage anyone with information to contact them. There is a hotline available for anonymous tips.” I’ve heard this so many times by now I can practically quote the lines along with it. “We hope that Chase will return home soon, safe and sound.”

“Hi.” 

The voice comes out of nowhere, and I nearly jump out of my skin.

“Sorry.” I look up to see the cute barista smiling at me. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” In his hands is a plate with a cookie on it, the kind I always order. 

“Um, it’s okay,” I reply, forcing a smile. 

The barista smiles. “It’s Ash, right?”

“Uh, yeah,” I say. I raise an eyebrow. How did he know?

“You came in here a lot with your friend,” he say with a smile. Then his face drops. “I’m really sorry about her by the way.”

I bite my lip, trying to stop my eyes from watering. I might be able to deal with the news, but it’s almost too much to deal with in person. Not wanting to speak, I just nod. 

“Do they have any new leads?” he asks. He looks so sincere that I wish I actually knew his name. It’s probably bad to keep calling him the cute barista.

“No, they don’t.” 

He looks down at the plate as if he completely forgot he was holding it. “This is for you,” he says awkwardly, holding it out. “On the house.”

I smile, sincerely this time. “Thanks.”

“It’s Robert,” he says as he hands it over. It’s almost as if he knew.

“Thanks, Robert,” I say as he walks away. 

I nibble on the cookie as I watch the TV. Chase’s green eyes stare out at everyone watching, almost as if she’s pleading with them, but I can’t help but think that she would never just disappear. Chase never did anything quietly, but then again a lot of people wouldn’t have known that about her. It was amazing how fickle the people at school could be. One day they were barely noticing her existence, and the next they were crying about how terrible it was that she was suddenly gone. 

I suddenly realise that I’ve been staring at the TV for too long, especially since it’s now showing the terribly boring bank advert that’s everywhere right now. I quickly look away, turning to the darkened street outside. The pavement is covered with a light dusting of snow, and I sigh. This place reminds me so much of Chase, I can practically see her sitting in the seat opposite me, grinning at the cute barista. Her dark hair would be hidden under her woolly pink beret she knitted in the sixth grade, and she’d probably be wearing the navy coat she’d got at the sales a few weeks earlier. But Chase isn’t here. I’m sitting alone at a table, with an empty cup of coffee and frozen fingertips. 

I have to get out of here. I pull my bright red duffle coat from the back of my chair and put it on. I grab my leather tote bag from next to my chair and swing it onto my shoulder, brushing my hair out of the way. I give the cute barista a little wave as I leave, not wanting to insult someone who makes me coffee. That would end badly. He’d probably start giving me decaf instead of regular, although that might be for the best, come to think of it.  

The door jingles as I open it, and I shiver in the cold. I practically run to my car, nearly slipping on the icy pavement. I fumble in my pocket for my keys, glancing over the top of my car as I do so. For a second I think I see straight dark hair and green eyes across the street from me, and I drop my keys. I bend down to pick them up, and when I stand back up the person is gone. Shaking my head I unlock my car and get in. I toss my bag onto the passenger seat, and switch on the heating. Since my car’s vintage it takes a while to heat up, and I sit shivering for a few moments until it kicks in. 

I can’t help myself from glancing over at where the figure that looked like Chase was. Shaking my head, I put my car into reverse. I’m about to pull away when there’s a tap on the window. I scream, and jump back in my seat. Robert, the cute barista, is looking through the window at me. He smiles awkwardly, and I stare at him. 

“You forgot your shopping,” Robert says. He lifts up the bag of presents that I bought earlier that day in a mad shopping fit. I suddenly felt the need to prepare for Christmas, since the rest of my life I apparently was no longer in control of.

I sigh, letting my shoulders relax. I seriously have to stop jumping at every little thing. I’ve become so paranoid lately. “Thanks,” I say, lowering the window. 

He passes the bag through, and I take it from him, dropping it to the passenger seat. 

“See you later,” he says. I pull away from the kerb and start down the street. As I drive away, I’m sure I can see him still standing on the footpath, watching me. 

I shiver as I head home, not entirely because of the cold. 

I pull up in front of the kerb of my house. Practically every light is on, and I can tell something big is happening. Since our house is on the corner, it ended up being bigger than the others. It also doesn’t help that it’s painted blue, rather than the classic red and white of all the others around here. 

After I’ve parked, I grab my shopping and let myself in, trying not to attract any attention. Partly because I have a load of Christmas presents with me, but partly because I’m so tired of being looked at like a science experiment. 

From the kitchen I can hear shouting, and I sigh. It’s officially the holiday season when my grandparents, relatives and siblings come to stay. I drop my present bag in the hall closet, the one we never use, and head towards the shouting. 

“Grandma! Grandpa!” I cry, running to hug them. As soon as I let them go, my mother instantly starts arguing with her sister about the right way to cook. Behind them I can see my father roll his eyes, and I stifle a laugh. It’s nice to not be the centre of attention for once. My grandparents just shake their heads; they know better than to get involved in one of the legendary Linda and Sophie fights.

“How are you doing, honey?” My grandpa asks. Both he and my grandma are giving me their sympathetic looks, like they’re about to ply me with chocolate chip cookies. 

I give them a tight smile. “I’m good,” I reply before heading up the stairs. 

Opening the door I see my older sister Cassidy sitting on my bed. On seeing me she instantly jumps up and runs to give me a hug. She looks even more fabulous than last time I saw her, having lived in New York has clearly done her a world of good. Her long strawberry blonde hair is perfectly styled, her sweater brings out her blue eyes, and I could have sworn that the boots she’s wearing were in Vogue last week. 

“How are you?” I squeal, throwing my arms around her. “How’s New York?”

She gives me a devilish grin. “Great. I love your hair!” Cassie reaches out to touch it, and I remember that she hasn’t seen it. Just a few days before Chase disappeared I’d chopped my long blonde curls to my shoulders. 

“And how’s Daniel?” I ask. Daniel was the guy she had been dating for the last few months. He was going to be arriving later in the month, since he had a lot of meetings for his father’s company. Rumour has it he plans on proposing to Cassie on New Years Eve. 

“He’s wonderful,” Cassie replies. I’ve never seen her look so happy. “But how are you doing? I mean, you’re clearly not okay, even though you might pretend to be.”

She knows me too well. “It’s hard,” I say honestly. I sit down in front of the vanity Cassie and I painted when I was six. Cassie takes my hair brush from my bedside table and starts to brush my hair. I suddenly feel like I’m a little kid again. “I mean, I don’t understand how she could just disappear like that.”

The rhythmic brushing of my hair is making me sleepy. I’m talking more honestly than I have in two weeks. I almost can’t stop the words from pouring out. 

“Do you remember how you first met Chase?” Cassie asks. Her eyes meet mine in the mirror, and I’m struck again by how similar we look. 

“Of course,” I reply. 

Cassie smiles. “Well, did you remember that you didn’t like her at first?”

My jaw drops open slightly. “What are you talking about?”

“You were four, Ash, of course you don’t remember it properly. You came home every day saying about how much you didn’t like this girl, but by the second week of kindergarten you two were best friends.”

“What’s your point?”

“I’m saying that no friendship is perfect.” Cassie sighs. “And neither was Chase. You can’t feel guilty. You can’t blame yourself for her mistakes.”

“I don’t—“ I stop before I finish my sentence. I want to say that I don’t feel guilty, but I do. I feel like it’s my fault. “I didn’t tell you this, but it’s my fault that Chase’s gone.”

The hairbrush stops moving. “What are you talking about?”

“Chase sent me a text the night before she disappeared,” I whisper. “She wanted me to meet her, but I didn’t really want to. I had plans, and I…” I trail off. My eyes water up, and before I know it I’m crying. 

Cassie turns me around so I’m looking straight at her. “This is not your fault.”

“But—“ she cuts me off with a glare.

“I’m not done. You have to stop blaming yourself. You don’t know that anything bad happened to Chase. For all you know she just wanted some time away. Either you stop blaming yourself, or you’re not getting any cinnamon cookies.”

I choke out a laugh, and brush the tears from my face. “You’re not that cruel,” I say. Cassie just raises an eyebrow as if to say ‘try me’. I start to laugh properly, and after a few seconds Cassidy joins me. 

We’re still laughing when Cameron bursts in. Since he’s three years younger than me, we’ve always had a strict ‘no entering the room without permission’ rule. I’m about to yell at him, but he looks so serious that I don’t bother. 

“What is it?” I ask, turning to face him. 

His blonde hair is messed up as usual, but he looks much older than fifteen. “You have to come and see the news.”

I roll my eyes, and head back down the stairs. I know he won’t leave us alone until we come and see it. I throw myself onto the couch, grab the remote and turn up the volume. The image cuts from one of Chase, to a live report. 

“We are now going live, to where a simple drink at the local watering hole nearly ended in disaster last night,” the news reporter says. He’s standing outside a bar, one that I definitely recognise. I barely hear the rest of the story. My brain is instead going at a million miles an hour. 

Cassie jumps up. “Hey!” she shrieks. “I know that guy!”

I give her my ‘are you crazy’ look. “Really? How?”

“He was in my class last year. His name’s Hunter Woods.” Cassie frowns at the guy standing awkwardly behind the reporter, but after a few seconds the news returns to the studio. “But what I can’t work out is what he was doing in a place like that. It seems kind of sleazy.”

“It is,” I say without thinking. 

“Really? How do you know?” Cassie is looking at me suspiciously. 

“I don’t know,” I reply, jumping up. I head back to my room, and dig my phone out of my bag. I dial a number I haven’t called for a long time, and wait for him to answer.

“Hey,” I say, jumping in before he can say anything. “It’s Ash. I think I have a new lead on how to find Chase.”