I never knew it could come to this. I never knew that something so small, so insignificant could cause something this disastrous. Life is so complex, you never know the affect of your words until it's too late.

Cold Spring, New York: 1999

My mother's pregnancy was unexpected, as in my parents didn't want me to be born. In the end though, my mom decided to carry through with her accident. 

I was born on a chilly fall afternoon, 3:02 to be exact. Tall sunset orange trees enclosed around my mothers  paltry house. The trees brushed through the wind causing more orange, brown, and red leafs to dance to the ground. The setting was gorgeous, but the events of the day were not so inviting. 

Who would have guessed that on such a captivating day, my future life would crumble? My mother just couldn't handle the thought of a small child running around her four room house, and my father was out in Texas. His excuse, he couldn't handle a child either. Which left me to the company of my first foster home. 

I have been told that I was passed through five foster couples by the age 

of ten. I guess I was never much of a charmer. 

My travel ended when a couple agreed to foster me until I had reached the age of eighteen. They were creative people, devoted to their love of writing and painting. They often didn't have time for such things, as they were trying their best to put food on the table and a roof over five kids. 

I was just an additional stomach to feed, I never really felt like a part  of their homely family. It was as if I was just dreaming by the last eight years of my life, waiting to finally turn eighteen. 

Cold Spring, New York: 2017

"Your welcome to come back whenever you need to!" Mandy shouts out. 

"Thank you!" I call out back to her. 

After I've said my goodbyes, it's time to close this door and walk through the next one open. 

As I get in my car that I've worked to afford my whole life, I realize that there's something different. All my life the next door that I walk through has been decided by the adults in my life. Now in this moment I have the choice to do what I want, good or bad. Only I can decide how my future will play out. 

I start the engine of the car and pull out of the driveway of my "home" from the past eight years. The fall trees sway through the wind giving me flashbacks of campfires in the backyard with my foster home. I was always the one never talking, never including myself in the family events, I had always been the outcast. 

"This isn't the end, it's just the beginning." I whisper to myself as I pull out of the road I was raised on. I play through those words, as I pass by the park I used play on, as I pass by the small restaurant owned by a friend of my foster parents, as I pass by the school I attended, as I pass by the sign that reads, Cold Spring exit.

Thanks for reading chapter one! Feel free to leave any feedback.

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