Episode I: They Call Me…

Episode II: The Perfect Daughter.

Episode III: Before I Forget.

Episode IV: Ups & Downs. Mostly Downs.

Episode V: 1. 2. 3. Fuck You.

Episode VI: “Shut Up, Cry Baby.”

Episode VII: Playing With Johnny.

Episode VIII: It’s My Birthday.

Episode IX: “Close Your Eyes.”

Episode X: Enjoy The Dessert.

Episode XI: Steal Him.

Episode XII: Pain Means Beauty.

Episode XIII: I’m A Nightmare.

    Crying after a hopeless night, I’m just resting on the wooden floor. I hear the footsteps of my beautiful mother under the influence of alcohol. I know she is going to enter my bedroom to punish me. I quickly hid under my bed, and clean my dry tears of my face. Something knocked open the door of my room. I could see her shoes, they were the new heels dad bought her. I could hear her voice calling my name. “We are not playing Hide-n-seek, so get the fuck out of wherever you are hiding.”¬¬ She said. I remained where I was and let out a new tear. Mom didn’t know where I was, but she was getting closer to my hiding place. If she gets any closer to my bed, she was going to find out I was hiding from her. Before I could let out a breath, my mom was pulling my hair, making me get out of my hiding place in matter of seconds. I started crying and screaming in pain. She threw me to my bed and started spanking me until I ended up with red bruises. She tortured me, pulled my hair, and called me cry baby as a punishment for painting the walls with my colorful markers. 

    After she left and slammed the door closed, I cried all afternoon releasing all the pain and fear I felt today. After a while, I then felt the presence of someone, I look to see who it was. I see nothing, just my toys on top of the trunk. After a second, all my toys were moving and running towards me. One of them was grabbing a knife, I screamed until somebody could hear me. Someone opened the door, but it wasn’t mom, it was my big brother. I don’t know if I should feel relief or fear. “What’s wrong?” he asked with a blank expression. I pointed to the direction where they were. They weren’t nearby. In fact, they were exactly where they were when I first look, on top of that trunk. I don’t understand, it’s like they didn’t even move. He rolled his eyes at me annoyed and said: “Fucking grow up, cry baby.” He left me all alone and it was starting to get dark. I’m not afraid of the dark, I’m scared of the monsters that lurks beneath my bed. I see again that one of my toys is missing: the teddy bear. My expression turned from scared to extremely frighten. I could feel something moving under my sheets. I don’t know if I should scream or just cry. My tears were running through my face. My hands went to where it was moving and I grabbed something. It was a sharp object, the knife. I get it now. I know why my teddy bear sent me the knife. I know what I have to do. Nobody cares about my existence, nobody wants me. In my seven years of life, I see that there is not bright side in things. There is no happy ending in my life. I should just end it myself. I sit in my pink bedroom still holding the knife and I observe the shadows.  

    I wonder if the shadows can stare at me the same way I’m looking at them. Why every time I point with a flashlight to their direction they just hide? Are they scared like I am? Are they scared of me? They shouldn’t be afraid at all. I’m harmless. I wouldn’t hurt anybody. I’m just a little girl. Ignoring the thought, I opened my eyes and I could see the sun rays point to my window. It was afternoon. I didn’t remember going to sleep. I didn’t remember closing my eyes and not open them falling into a deep dream. I just realized I was under the bed. Was I under the bed all night? I touched my butt and I didn’t feel any pain. There was no bruises because nothing happened. It was just a dream. Out of nowhere, someone knocked open the door. I let out a tear and see that it was mom heels once again. “We are not playing Hide-n-seek, so get the fuck out of wherever you are hiding.” She said again. I’m confused, I have heard this before. I started remembering that the last time she said those exact words was before she threw me to the bed and spanked me until she got tired of hitting me. It was like Déjà vu. This has happened before, but there’s something weird. My butt doesn’t hurt anymore and my bruises are not visible. It’s like yesterday didn’t happen. What if today is yesterday? Before I could realize, my beautiful drunk mother took a grip of my hair, making me get out of my hiding place in matter of seconds once again.

    *to be continued*