I like having family reunions. I like having dinner with everyone. All my aunts and uncles and grandparents together. While I still enjoy them, one family reunion when I was eleven years old, changed me forever. That memory, is one of the clearest, most vivid, and disgustingly detailed memories I have. I had been sitting with the rest of the little kids at the smaller table, away from the adults. I was almost done eating when I heard my uncle John say my name from down a hall. A hall that was away from the rest of the family. “Emma? Can I talk to you for a minute?” 
“Why?” I asked as I stood up and began to walk over to him.
“Just come here.” When I reached him he moved away from the wall and I stood against it. 
“Am I in trouble?”
“No sweetie, you aren't in any trouble.” We stood there for a moment in an awkward silence.
“Then wha- ” I began. Then suddenly his lips were on mine. I felt one of his hands reached around behind me and he squeezed my butt. His thin fingers causing some of my pants fabric to be pushed up into my crack. His lips were moist and soft in texture. But firm in their pressure against mine. I attempted to reel back, alarmed, but my head hit the wall. I felt like I couldn’t breath. After a second or two he pulled back a little from my face. I looked at him and saw a gleam in his eyes. It was a gleam that made me feel uncomfortable and nervous. Still shocked by his sudden grab of my rear and the kiss, I stayed frozen. I could still feel his hand on my rear and I watched as his other hand came up to my face. He gently brushed my cheek with it before cupping my chin. “Un-uncle.” I managed to gasp, finally overcoming some of the shock. 
 “You’re so young, so full of life. Why do you have to be as cute and beautiful as you are?” He said under his breath. Quiet enough, that I only barely heard it over the noise of the rest of the family. He removed his hand from my butt and wrapped his other arm around my waist, causing me to face the direction he wanted us to go. “I need you to come with me.” I began to refuse, pulling back, opening my mouth to yell for someone. Like lightning his free hand was over my mouth and I could feel his breath on my ear. “I won’t hurt you. If you yell, draw attention to us, or refuse to do what I say though, I will.” He whispered. I stayed silent and frozen, not wanting to provoke him. His hand on my mouth fell away and he straight. “I am taking Emma to the local pool,” he called over his shoulder. 
“Have fun!” I heard my mother reply. I felt even more scared and a little sick knowing that I was going to be alone with this man. My uncle who had just grabbed a part of me regular people aren’t supposed to touch, and who had kissed me, on the lips! 
“Can I come with?” One of the younger cousins called. Hope soared through me. Maybe I would be alright if someone else was there.
“No honey, Emma and her family live far away. She rarely gets to see him, let them have some time together.” I heard the kids mother say. That part of me that had soared with hope nosedived and crumpled at her words. I opened my mouth to invite the cousin, wanting to tell him it would be okay if he came. My uncles expression caught my eye and I quickly dismissed the idea. 
“Just have her back here by eight.” My mother called over everyone else's chatter. I looked around and saw a grandfather clock standing by the main door. It took me a little while to figure out the time as I was still learning to read clocks that had hands at the time. Once I figured it out a part me inside began to sob. The time was 4:30. If I was right, he planned on using as much of that time as he could.
“I will,” He called back. His hand and arm pressed against my back, urging me to start walking. “Let’s go get our swimsuits,” he said, with what he probably hoped was a warm reassuring smile. All I felt though was dread. He took me down the hall and passed the room I was staying in and we started up the stairs.
“But my room - “ I began before he cut me off.
“You’re not the only one who needs a swimsuit.” We went up to the room he was staying in. I began to realize why John never got married. He was the third to youngest child out of six, and all the ones younger than him were old, like 40, and they were all married already (though now, 12 years later, I realize that the ones younger than him were actually in their mid 20’s, he was in his mid 30’s at the time). He opened the door and gently pushed me inside. I went, though be it grudgingly. There were clothes strewn everywhere. “You see that corner, by the bed?” He asked, leaning in to the point where I could feel the heat of his breath again. I nodded, seeing the corner he was talking about. “I want you to stand there, facing the room and don’t move.” I did so obediently, making my way across the room slowly. I could hear the rustle of clothes behind me. “Here they are.” He said, right as I reached the corner and turned back to face him. 
He was holding up a pair of blue and yellow striped swim trunks. He laid them across the foot of the bed. I watched as he undid his belt and his pants fell to the ground. Then, he started to take off his boxers and I turned to face the wall. “Emma,” he said and I glanced at the ground by his feet to see his boxers lying there. “Are you embarrassed by seeing someone's privates?” I nodded slowly, at my own feet. Heat filled my cheeks and I could tell I was blushing deeply and I nodded slowly. He let out a short, light laugh. “Don’t be,” his voice was closer now. “With your looks,” he said, right in front of me now, “especially with your ass, people will be offering you a lot of things when you get a bit older, including their privates, in the hope that they can make you happy.” I shuddered at the thought, my mind retching at it. People, offering me their privates, how disgusting, and how could that possibly make me happy? I felt his hand on my shoulder and I snapped my gaze to his face, not wanting to see his naughty area. The brief look that I caught though told me that he was in fact, standing in front of me, completely naked.
“I don’t want you looking away again, okay?” His grip tightened on my shoulder. I bit my lip and closed my eyes as I nodded once, remembering what he said about truly hurting me. I felt his hand move from my shoulder to cup my chin again. I opened my eyes and stiffened as he again pressed his lips to my own. This time they were softer, just brushing mine, and I still felt like I could breath. He walked back to the foot of his bed and I watched him like I had been told to. I tried to focus looking at him anywhere but down below. Once though, just once, as he was walking away from me, I caught myself looking down and staring for a moment at his flat rear end. I forced myself to look at his bare, hairless chest, while he put on his trunks. “Alright,” he said coming over to me and wrapping his hand around me again, “time to get your’s now.” He led me out the door of his room, back down the stairs into my room. 
As I entered I noticed him come in with me and close the door behind us both. “You aren’t going to wait outside?” I mumbled. It was more a statement than a question. 
He shook his head, “you got to see me, though I noticed you tried not to, it’s my turn now.” It felt wrong and I really didn’t want to get changed with him in here with me, but I also didn’t want him to hurt me. Accepting the fact that I wasn’t getting out of this easily, I decided to just go with it and figure a way out later. I walked across the room to the open closet where my suitcase sat. Behind me I heard him sit down on the bed as I pulled out my two piece swimsuit. I paused, facing away from him, my fear of what he would do if I listened overcoming my fear of what he would do if I didn’t. “Do you need some help?” He asked from behind me and I could hear him start to stand up. I shook my head vehemently, wanting to avoid his hands on my body if I could. He sat back down and the bed creaked. I decided if I did it quickly he wouldn’t see much. I striped off my shirt, and pants but froze as I hooked my fingers around the band of my panties. No one except my parents had ever seen me naked, and even then, only as a baby. Now that I was no longer a baby, they told me, not even they should see me naked anymore. I could feel John’s eyes on me as he watched and I knew that he could seriously hurt me if he wanted to. So, I took a deep breath and striped them off as well. Quickly I bent down to grab the bottom piece of the suit, wanting to cover myself from him. I wasn’t quick enough though. “Wait,” he said and I tried to ignore him, frantically trying to get them untwisted. “Emma,” His voice came again and this time the tone made me freeze. It sounded like he was disappointed in me and also warning me about ignoring him. “Stop trying to hide your body,” I heard him get up but I didn’t move. “I gave you the chance to see mine up close,” he said from right behind me, “it is only fair, I get to see yours. Stand up straight.”
I did so slowly. Embarrassed and scared I put one arm across my chest where my nipples had started sticking out more and more over the past year. My other hand covered my lower area as I stood still facing away from him. Startling me I felt him softly hit, what he had called, my ass and I squeaked. Then I felt his hand on my shoulder, warm on my bare skin, as he began to twist me around to face him. I turned to face him and saw he stood no more than a foot away. He back up a bit and I turned my gaze to the floor. “Emma, look at me,” he said softly. Slowly I looked up from the floor and into his eyes. Those eyes confused me more than anything. They showed kindness and warmth and at the same time, they showed an animal type of want. I didn’t know how I was supposed to feel anymore towards him and what he was having me do, not after seeing that look. I pulled my eyes from his and looked back at the ground. “You’re still hiding yourself.” Slowly I dropped the hand from my chest, but only to use it to help cover my privates. I watch him come closer, and knelt low in front of me so his head was level with my hands. His own hands came forward and gently grabbed my wrists as he pulled them away. I fought a little then let my arms fall to my sides, a part of me breaking as I accepted that whatever happened would happen and I was helpless. He took his hands then, and forced them in between my legs at the knees and he began to pull them apart. I felt dirty and exposed, I felt like I wanted to run, to cry, to just escape this, but I knew their was no escape, so I just let him.
Once they were apart to where he wanted them he sat there and stared at that area. After a moment he ran a hand up the inside of my leg, up to the top, the edge of his finger brushing where I peed from as well as the slit that was there. A tiny amount of heat rushed through me as his hand brushed it and an uncontrollable shiver ran through as the heat left. I watched him as he looked up at me, his eyes still showing that mix of feelings. “Your clit and pussy is beautiful, just as beautiful as the rest of you.” I felt my cheeks get hot with the compliment. He stood up, his hand running over the front of my body. It went from where I peed, my clit he called it, to my tummy where he wrapped his arm around the back of me and put it on my ass. I shivered, without the rush heat this time, as I felt him run a finger up my crack. He leaned in a kissed me. This time he kissed my lips, then my jaw, then I felt a little of his teeth as he kissed my neck. Another wave of heat, stronger this time, rushed through me when I felt his teeth on my neck. I gasped at the sensation. Never had I felt anything like it before. It felt tingly and strange in a way that felt good, but it also felt so very wrong and dirty. He straightened and I saw his smile had grown. Backing away he waved his hand at me and said, “We better get going.”
It took a while for my mind to focus again after the heat left. Realizing what he said I turned around and put on my swimsuit. After feeling that sensation of heat coursing through me though, I wasn’t near as hurried to cover myself up. He must have noticed this to because I heard him say, “that’s a girl, you felt it and now you’re interested.” I wanted to yell at him and tell him he was wrong, that all of this was wrong and disgusting. Problem was, he was partly right. A part of me was interested in that good, tingley heat and that part of me wanted to feel it again. That part of me wanted that heat even though most of me wanted to curl up into a ball and cry because of how violated, dirty, disgusting and wrong this situation, and I felt.
As we walked out the front door and towards the neighborhood pool I began to think. Everything I have been told tells me that doing this is wrong and disgusting and that I should fight him even if he might hurt me. That I should yell and run away even though he might still force me to do whatever it is. So why does a small part of me want to feel that weird tingly heat again? 

This piece of work started out as a simple, innocent writing exercise on empathy. From a list of very specific options, we had to pick one character type, some emotion that they are going through, and a location for the story. The guys were not allowed to pick the option of the middle school boy because we were able to relate to well with that already. Similarly, the girls were not allowed to pick the 11-year-old girl option for the same reason. So I decided why not and went picked the 11-year-old girl. The emotions I choose, Alarm, Fear and scared. Those I just picked at random and had no idea where I was going to go with them. Same goes for the place, a family reunion, I had no idea where I was going to go with it. Once I had them picked I just started writing. After a couple of failed starts it appears that the moral core of my brain was put into an incinerator by some idiot.* Once that happened my brain started writing with an immortal autopilot. What came out of it disturbs even me to a point. So all I can say now is:

WARNING: THIS STORY REVEALS THE SECRET DARKEST RECESSES OF MY MIND AND MIGHT DISTURB SOME READERS. REALIZE THAT BY READING THIS, IF YOU KNOW ME PERSONALLY, YOUR PERSPECTIVE TOWARDS ME WILL MOST LIKELY CHANGE FOREVER. TO AVOID THAT GO BACK NOW AND NEVER READ THIS. ALL I CAN SAY NOW IS YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

*Forgive me if you do not understand the PORTAL game reference