Pride is an amazing thing to feel. Wether you are proud about something you done or you walk with pride because you love your body. That's not the case for me, I should be having fun with my friends, instead I'm tucked up in my bed writing this. Yes, im insecure;I have unhealthy skin and I recently got these red bags under my eyes from too strong moisturises that I use to get rid of spots. Doesn't work. Never does. Everything that I do, makes it worse. I have sensitive skin. I can't put make up on because my skin is dry and it makes my face more unhealthy. People are probably going to read this and think 'Fake fake fake fake fake pathetic' 

But I don't care. I don't care about anything anymore. I lost that about year ago. Gone, never to be seen again. Just drowned in my body, dead, inside of me. If you're going to judge just stop reading. I push haters out. They're not worth your time. I push everyone out. Even the ones I love, without knowing. Do you ever get that moment when your life is crumbling and all you can do is stare? Sitting there, watching. Everything shatters right in front of your eyes, slowly, rubbing it in your face. They say bad choices make the best memories but how come I made a bad choice and my whole world is falling. Don't trust. It's deceiving. Don't trust your instinct, what if you're wrong. That slight chance that you are, what would happen? Everything could go wrong, everything. The more bad choices the more enemies and the more enemies the more mean comments and the more mean comments the more insecurity you have. I try not to care but...it's hard. It's like all my emotions are trapped inside of me, bursting to get out. But can't. Making me feel dead inside. I am dead. I feel nothing. 

Talent might be developed or it could be natural. Or maybe created. If it was created, whoever created this 'talent' missed me out. I'm bad at everything. The only thing I am good at is sleeping. It takes you to your dream world. Your fantasy, but it's not long enough, I want to stay there, not go back and forth.