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Author's Note

Enjoy my story! Don't forget to favorite it! (Don't mind this chapter...) Anyways, enjoy!

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Lilianne (1)

I've seen it when they're together, so young, so carefree. They were perfect for each other. While, I'm, well, he'll never like a girl like me. Even if he himself told me I was he's crush. 

He is much better off with Dei. The girl who's sometimes crazy, the good crazy. The girl who's his current bestfriend, we would've still been bestfriends.  The girl who he loves so much, don't know if romantically or it's friendly-ish love. But most of all, the girl who never left his side, not like me, that left him in the shadows, all alone. She was the one who gave him light again. I used to be the one who makes him smile everyday, makes him laugh, crazy, or even make him cry out of laughter. I also used to be the girl who always has a shoulder for him to cry on. But as of now, that'll never happen again. 

I was the badass one, she's the good girl. Made of sugar, spice and everything nice, they say. I'm made of everything that's the complete opposite of her. I am confident. She has low self esteem, like Jay. I was optimistic, she was pessimistic, on her good days, optimism is what you'll get on her. She was an addict of a subject on our school day, so much like Jay. I never had a favorite subject. They were the smartest back in the our elementary days. We were not in the same grades, me and Jay, was much older, so in our grade, he was smart. Just like Dei, a smart girl indeed. They might not be the top ones, but you get what I'm saying, right? I was only a girl who can sing some tunes and get high grades effortlessly, they were the intelligent ones, nerds, as they say (I mean, they both wear glasses!). 

He was a boy who has many hidden talents, just like Dei. I was sometimes in the honors but only for extra curriculars. They were the real ones with high grades, academic excellence. The girl was someone rare to find, someone who accepts wholeheartedly something she failed. I was always envious of someone if he/she did something to me. Jay, though he never want to admit it, was someone like that too. It's like two rare collectibles found someone who can match him/her perfectly. Am I like them? We'll never know.

Dei was a girl who has a puppy love, as they say, to him. I was the girl who love him wholeheartedly. I'll never know why he never chose me. I gave him everything I can, Dei loved him effortlessly. Why did you never chose me, Jay?! 

Is it because I'm not enough? Or did you think I'm not the one for you? Answer me?! I was out there hiding in the shadows, waiting for someone who'll love me for who I am, I was waiting for someone like you. But little did I know, you already found someone who'll accept you. I'm still a girl, Jay! I'm still a person! A person who gets hurt. And a girl who is sensitive for something like this. 

Stupid life. Stupid love. Why was love even invented if you'll only be a shitty stupid crazy f***ing person! I'm catholic, but yes, I curse. When will someone really love me? When will someone pity me? Even for just once in my life!

But of what I know, me and Dei have one in common. We both love him. Him, who made us fall in love with him deeply, him who didn't even do something that make girls love him. So why choose her? If I'm the one who really love you, Jay. I thought you love me. I thought you care about me. But all of it was a lie. When will someone never lie to me? I bet there'll be no one for that's what people think of me. A big lying sh*t of trash.

I would never know the real reason behind of why you never chose me. But with everything I've been through, I've learned one thing, its that they balance each other. If we were in a relationship, I would be much higher while he's much lower. They balance each other as I say.

I love you. I love you so much Jay. I hope you know how much I love you. But if you're happy with Dei, I guess it's okay for me. If you're happy then I'm happy. I wish I told you this much earlier. Maybe things would have turned around. You and me happy with each other, but what about Dei? Nevermind her. I hope you would change your mind and come running into my arms saying you chose me. Things are never too late as they say. 


Please wait for future updates.

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Deiondrea's Letters (2)

Flashback: September 26, 2015 (Leadership Training)

(Deiondrea's letters to Jayvion)


I was uncomfortable for the fact that we were seated right next to each other earlier. I didn't even know you! Sure I see you in the school several times already but you know what I mean. Your name tag stated that you're name was Jayvion but your classmates call you Jay. I got a little comfortable later on when the seminar was starting. I got a little disappointed when Kylie and Marjory, the 6th graders, said that we have to renew our seat arrangement since coincidentally one of my best friends, Jeremy, was in my front, and we were chatting a little bit and we got a little noisy and all that. Atleast we got the most quiet group in the awarding! It was really fun in the leadership training with you. It was also really fun when me and our groupmates started teasing you on the 2nd day you're jacket was just so funny looking with all that featherly-ish things on it. I hope you had fun too even if it was already your second time. It was the bestest first leadership training for me. And I just wish my classmates would stop teasing me that we were all sweet with each other and stuff. I hope they won't bother you with all their teasing. Real friends, I know (that was sarcastic).

P.S. I don't even know why I'm doing this. I won't even give this to you!

P.P.S. That would've been embarrassing!

Your new friend,



Author's Note: 

Chapter 2 done! There have been conflicting edits here kn my ipad so I've putted numbers in the chapter's title. So you guys won't be confused.

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