"The commoners are growing suspicious again Liz," Philip warned his wife while he intrinsically studied the main article in the Daily Telegraph. "I wonder what's so suspicious about living to the ripe old age of 124?"

The queen let out a long sigh. "Is there no pleasing them? It's almost as though they want me to be dead! Let's hear all the wacky theories that they've come up with this time even though they're bound to be as nutty as a fruitcake. Go on, amuse me."

Prince Philip cleared his throat before reading the latest section on the conspiracy theories aloud.
 

Rumours have been swirling around recently about the continued reign of Queen Elizabeth II and her husband, Prince Philip, who has recently turned 129. They currently hold the record for the oldest and second oldest people to have ever lived, beating Jeanne Calment who died aged 122. Some claim that their affluent lifestyle has enabled them to live well beyond the average life expectancy as they can afford the very best healthcare and drugs that Pharmaceutical companies have to offer. One inside source in Buckingham Palace who's name cannot be revealed believes that their perennial life is due to a strict diet of Kale and Swan that provides them with the nutrition's that are key to a strong immune system. The most unlikely and far-flung theory that has been suggested is that they have somehow obtained a Philosopher's Stone; exactly like the one used in the first Harry Potter book. There has been no evidence to support this.

"The Philosopher's Stone?" Elizabeth  chortled while silver tears rolled down her withered cheeks. "I've never heard of anything quite like that before! It's even better then the truth!"

"If only! Imagine all the money that we'd have!" Philip replied as he envisaged himself swimming in the pile of gold that he would be able to summon. "The tax that this blooming government is forcing us to pay is bleeding us dry. If only we had some more money so I could buy that holiday resort in Magaluf."   

"How many times have I told you Philip that we are NOT buying a holiday resort in Magaluf," Elizabeth told him sternly. Philip hung his head in disappointment. "I don't care how many times you go on about the spectacular views that you can see there."

"But we don't have that much longer left to live," he complained. "There's only one reason that we're both still alive and that reason's going to disappear rather promptly. I want to fulfil the last few years of my life in exactly the same way as the best years of life, back when I was in my early twenties."

"I suppose you're right," Elizabeth agreed in defeat. "After all, Charles is now 102 and will most likely pass away within the next few years. Only then can we go on our next adventure, safe in the knowledge that he'll never be king."