You have not looked for me

Or asked for me
Or drunk dialed for me
The way I thought you would
Maybe this is really done for good
I have no shame on my late night ‘Can i see you sometime?’ text
I am more embarrassed that you said no
You coldly agreed for me to give up
Even after I told you I did not want to..
I did not know how to
Here I am learning
I have discovered so much
I wish I could call to tell you about this self revelation & all the questions that finally found answers & I figured out where we both went wrong & now I know why you felt the way you felt & now I know how to fix this..
But you have not missed me
You have not said anything
You have no interest in knowing
I have to keep all this knowledge to myself
How do I become selfish?
When all I want to do is share my thoughts with you
The same thoughts you might of considered long and boring
The same stories about why I do not believe in happily ever afters
Yet somehow with you, I believed
It felt real
Possible
My darling we strangled every ounce of love left in our hearts
& you have never seen me cry