Her Long List of Ex-Lovers
To the man behind this story, Kris Wu, you will always be in my heart. Forever in your own galaxy.
I love you.
To my ever supportive readers from Asianfanfics and Wattpad, I will never be more than grateful. You gave me inspiration to finish this book.
To my ever supportive love, you know who you are. I love you, wherever you are.
Chapter 1: Shields more rain
“Let’s break up.”
I took a very deep breath as Junmyeon, my 11th boyfriend, broke up with me in front of his club members. He’s the president of the computer geek club and he’s overly devoted to this club of his.
I looked at him and sighed. “Why?” I managed to ask before my tears fall. I’m trying my hardest to not look weak in front of him – especially now that we’re in front of his club mates.
To be honest, this isn’t the most embarrassing break up scene that I have ever encountered in my whole life. There was one time when Oh Sehun, my 8th ex-boyfriend, broke up with me in front of the whole student body at prom night after being crowned as the King and Queen of the Night.
He told everyone that I am the most gullible girl in the whole world to actually believe that a Casanova like him would like a woman like me. A woman who a lot of men have kissed. A woman who a lot of men had dated.
He said he was more than that. That I was overly inferior in accordance to his standards.
And yes, he broadcasted that in the whole Newton High School. There was even a footage of that incident in Youtube that has almost half a million views – one reason why I don’t watch videos on that site, even if I really have to. It was written down the history of the most embarrassing breakups of all time.
After that incident, I didn’t go out of our house for two full weeks no matter how hard Mom convinces me to. I wasn’t afraid of the people who are looking down at me and criticizing me. I was afraid I would see Oh Sehun with another girl that would pain me.
Everything that the people are saying means nothing to me. I know what’s true and what’s not. It’s not like I would make them control how I run my life. So what if I have a long list of ex-boyfriends? So what if I got dumped in front of everyone? It’s not their problem. It’s mine.
But the reason why I am teary eyed right now is that for a while, I thought Junmyeon was actually different from all my eleven exes. He was different, though. He’s caring and thoughtful and he makes me happy – at least before he got the president position in this club two months ago and his time is all focused on this club.
He had devoted most – no, all – of his time for this club and he had no time left for me. At first I thought he was just adjusting to his position but then his devotion for this club grew more and more to the point that he doesn’t show up on our dates because he was busy organizing some fund raising things for his club.
Of course, no woman would not get tired of being in this kind of relationship but I had been understanding enough, I believe. I’ve always tried to think positive. I have always thought that if I really love him, I have to support him in whatever he does because I thought that’s what I was supposed to do, as a girlfriend.
For the past two months, we grew apart. And now, he’s breaking up with me. In front of his club members.
“I can’t handle being in a relationship anymore.” He looked me in the eyes. “I don’t think I have the time and effort to be in a relationship now that I am the President of the Computer Club.” He tried to explain his side.
Computer Geek Club. I wanted to shout this in front of his face and of his members. I’m not actually judgmental but what do you call those students who are too obsessed with studying? Nerds or geeks, right? And since, they are too obsessed of computers – I don’t even know what the hell they are doing in front of computers for too long – they are called computer geeks. And their club should have the word ‘geek’ in between the words ‘computer’ and ‘club’.
“Okay,” was all I could reply.
Maybe he’s right. Maybe, ending this relationship is the best decision since we’re both not happy anymore.
I guess this is the reason why I break up with men – more like the other way around. If I’m not happy anymore, and if I know that they are not happy with me anymore, if they told me that we should break up, we really should break up.
Who wants to stay in a relationship when none of you are happy anymore?
“I’m sorry.” Junmyeon told me and I smiled weakly.
The truth is, he’s the only one who apologized after breaking up with me. Or maybe the second one. Zhang Yixing, my 3rd ex-boyfriend, didn’t actually tell me he’s sorry but he told me, “I wish I am the right one for you.” And maybe that’s considered an apology because he’s not the right one for me, though he wished he was.
“Goodbye, Junmyeon.” I spoke softly as I dragged my feet out of the club hideout.
As soon as I closed the door, tears fell down. I would be lying if I say that it doesn’t hurt because it hurts so much. Out of all the breakups I’ve ever went through, this has to be the hardest to go through. I’ve programmed inside my brain that Junmyeon would be the last man in my life. I have always imagined how we would grow our kids and grow old together.
But now, it’s ruined.
We broke up.
I harshly wiped my tears and ran to my locker. It’s a good thing I have my bangs on, so my red eyes won’t be that obvious.
I have always put on a poker face after a break up. I don’t cry in front of people – especially not in front of the man who’s breaking up with me. I don’t want to let them think that I am weak. I don’t want them to think that I am breaking.
And I’ve learned to keep my poker face for a long time. Since Yixing. But now, this breakup is something I have never prepared myself into.
I have always told myself to understand Junmyeon no matter what happens. I have always told myself to support him. I have always told myself that he is the one.
He is not the one.
I took the books I needed to study tonight before walking towards the gates. I have to get my ass home or people would see me breakdown.
I walked to the bus stop and waited for a while before it started to rain.
“Seriously?” I hissed as I ran over the shed, using my books as my umbrella.
Damn! Why did it have to rain when I don’t have an umbrella? Junmyeon didn’t –
Stop, Kim Ashin! You and that Junmyeon has broken up.
Normally, he would tell me what the weather for the day will be, according to his fearless forecast. But, I guess, he was busy these days that he got no time to text me about it anymore.
I shook my head and tried to shake him off my thoughts.
“It’s going to rain this time of the day every day for this coming week.” I was shocked when I saw a tall man offering me an umbrella. He’s not wearing our school uniform. In fact, he’s just wearing casual clothes. I wonder if he’s just a passerby or a high school dropout. Or maybe he’s in college? I don’t know. I can’t even think well.
I stared at him as he stared down at me. He is smiling at me and I can see his gums as he smiled widely. He has this double eyelids and he’s undeniably handsome.
What is he doing wasting his time on me?
“Don’t have an umbrella?” He asked me as he reaches his hand holding another umbrella out on me. “Here, take this.” He smiled wider.
I looked at the umbrella he is offering me before looking behind me. Maybe he’s not talking to me. Maybe he’s talking to someone else. I mean, he’s tall. It’s possible to see the person behind me with that height.
There’s nobody behind me.
I awkwardly looked back at him before pointing to myself. “Me?” I asked nervously.
What if he’s a part of a syndicate who abducts high school girls then rapes them before killing them and throwing them to the Han River afterwards? I mean, yes, he’s handsome but don’t bad guys nowadays look so angelic?
He gave me a look and nodded. “Do you see anyone else around?” He asked me and I shook my head. “Then, take it.” He spoke. “It shields a lot more rain than your precious books.”
I smiled unknowingly as I accepted his umbrella. “Thanks.” I told him. “Are you new here?” I asked him. I have been meaning to ask him this question since I saw his face moments ago, but I was preoccupied with all those syndicate thoughts.
He nodded and stood beside me. Maybe he’s waiting for his bus too. “We just moved into Pines Village days ago.” He replied.
I gave him a look. “Pines Village?” I asked and he nodded. “What a coincidence! I live there, too!” I beamed. Suddenly, I grew at ease.
He looked at me brightly. God, spare my eyes from this godly creature!
“Really?” He asked excitedly. “I’m glad you are!” He beamed. “I was afraid I would get lost going home because it’s my first time riding the bus alone.”
I smiled brightly. “You must be in it for luck.” I joked and he chuckled.
“Actually, I just enrolled in your school.” He informed me.
I looked at him. So we will actually be in one school. Maybe we could ride the bus together if I’m lucky. “Wow! Took you so long,” I beamed and he nodded. “The principal was out and I had to wait for him to come back before I could get my papers signed.” He explained.
I nodded in understanding. “That’s sucks, really.” I told him and he shook his head.
“Not really.” He replied. “It gave me the time to explore the school and I must say that your school is cool. Cooler than how it looks from the façade.”
I nodded. “I know.” I chuckled and extended my hand. “I’m Kim Ashin.” I introduced myself.
He smiled back and took my hand. “I’m Wu Yifan. But you can call me Kris.” He smiled wider.
“Nice to meet you.”
Chapter 2: His House
Kris and I stood side by side under the shed under the rain that’s pouring harder and harder by the second. There still aren’t any buses around and I’m starting to get impatient.
I really wanted to talk to him but I don’t know how to open up the topic to start a conversation. I am probably not like this but maybe it’s because my mind is still preoccupied by the fact that I had faced my eleventh breakup just minutes ago. My eyes are probably swollen, right now.
I heard him cough. He probably knows how awkward it is for us right now.
“Uhm…” he paused. “I don’t think the rain is going to stop anytime soon.” He beamed.
I sighed. “And I don’t think there would be buses anytime soon, as well.” I responded then it was his turn to sigh.
I looked at the part of the road where the bus would come from and there was no sign of any vehicle coming on. There were even no cars or anything.
I was looking to my right and I caught Kris in my periphery. He really is tall and he looks like he just came out of the magazine. He’s a freaking model. Swear!
He really looks cold and strong and stoic on the outside. In fact, if he didn’t generously offer me an umbrella just right now, I would think of his as a snob. Well, he really suits that image. That cold city guy image.
I felt him step back to sit on the railings on the shed. “Let’s sit for a while, Ashin.” He told me.
I looked at him, shocked at what he called me. He called me Ashin. He called me on my first name!
He must have known what I was thinking because he suddenly grew conscious. “Uhm, I mean, I can call you Ashin, right?” He asked me in a polite manner. He even seemed embarrassed.
I smiled and nodded. “Sure, you can.” I told him. “Sorry, I was just taken aback because it was my first time hearing my name from you.” I explained.
He smiled shyly and rubbed the back of his neck. For the first time, I have never thought that someone would actually look really good with a simple V-neck shirt and a pair of loose and faded jeans. It seemed normal but, I already told you, Kris is a freaking model.
A freaking shy model.
I sat awkwardly beside him as we wait for our bus to arrive. We have been waiting for about fifteen minutes now.
I really want to have a decent conversation with him right now. But I really don’t know where to start. Should I ask for his family background? His likes? His dislikes? I don’t know. What if he thinks that I am interrogating him? Well, it might be true at some point but if I don’t, we’ll just be sitting here awkwardly and secretly wishing for a bus to come as fast as it could.
I faked a cough to break the silence. “So, do you know someone from our neighborhood already?” I asked him.
He shook his head. “We’ve been here for about four days now but I still hadn’t walked around the neighborhood.” He started. “I have been busy unpacking my loads. It’s really tiring.” He finished.
I nodded. “Must be hard.” I commented and he chuckled. “You have no idea.” He told me then it was my time to laugh.
“You’re the only I know from the neighborhood.” He then spoke. “Though I don’t really know if your house is near ours.” He pointed out.
I chuckled. “Who knows? Maybe you’re the neighbor my mother has been talking about a few weeks ago.” I beamed.
He smiled. “I really hope so.” He replied. “It’s really hard to not know someone in the neighborhood.” He continued as he fixed his hair that became a bit messy because of the wind. “And I also believe in the second greatest commandment. Love thy neighbor.” I think he tried to crack a joke so I laughed even though I didn’t find it that funny.
“You’re funny!” Okay. I’m a great liar. That’s one of the lamest joke I have ever heard in my whole life.
He chuckled and shook his head.
Damn. He really believed it was a good joke. Meh.
The bus came when we were busy laughing – he was busy laughing, I was busy faking a laugh. We both stopped and stood up as we waited for the bus to pull over the stop.
“You first.” He told me as we walked to the bus door. He looked at my hand holding the books. “Let me help you.” He told me as he took the books from me.
I smiled and did not protest. I walked inside the bus and he followed.
It was a jam-packed vehicle and all seats were taken so we really have to stand up. I inserted myself in between all these people and stopped on the third row where there was an unexpected space.
I looked behind and saw Kris following after me, stopping just in front of me.
“This thing is crazy.” He told me as he held onto the deck, a bit shaking because he is not used to standing on a bus ride.
I laughed at his grimace. “This is your first time.” I pointed out.
He looked at me weirdly. “I’m so not prepared for this.” He told me as he tried to balance himself.
I laughed at him once again. “You’re going to get used to this.” I told him.
He sighed hard. “I hope so.”
Kris and I stepped out of the bus after fifteen minutes of ride.
“That was tiring.” He commented as he fixed his shirt that got crumpled because of the bus’ overpopulation.
I smiled at his expression. He looked like a guy who ran a mile with the way his face looks so tired right now. “You look funny.” I can’t help myself but comment at how he looks.
He gave me a look. “Hey!” He whined like a kid.
It’s funny how it’s not raining anymore as soon as we arrived on our village. I don’t really get the weather. When I am praying for it to stop, it keeps pouring. And it happens the other way around too.
I folded the umbrella and handed it to Kris. “Here. Thanks.” I told him.
He smiled and shook his head. “No, just take it home.” He beamed.
I narrowed my eyes on him. “This is not a handkerchief that I could keep.” I told him. “Take it back.” I held the umbrella out.
I saw him hesitate for a while but in the end, he took it back. And I also took my books back. “Thanks for helping me out. With the umbrella. With the books.” I smiled.
He smiled back and shook his head. “It’s nothing. I mean, I can’t stand to see a lady carrying loads of things.” He replied.
I smiled shyly. I don’t really know why I am acting like an innocent girl right now. I mean, why do I have to keep a certain façade in front of Kris? He’s going to attend our school and sooner or later, he would find out that I am the woman who dated a lot of men. I am the lady who kissed a lot of men. I am the girl who got fooled by a lot of men.
Sooner or later, he would regret that he ever lent me his umbrella on a rainy afternoon and that he offered me to carry my books as we rode the bus.
Why am I acting like I want him to see that I am a wonderful girl?
I am not and I know that for myself.
“Come on.” He broke my thoughts as he cocked his head into the side.
I looked at him and nodded awkwardly. “Where are you heading at?” I asked him.
He pointed at the road to our house. “Here. You?” He asked.
I smiled. “The same.” I replied and we headed out way.
He chuckled as we walked home. “I really think our houses are near each other.” He told me.
I smiled. “I’m starting to think that you’re the neighbor my mother was talking about.” I beamed back.
“It would be great!” He exclaimed.
I looked at him as he showed me his gleeful face. I can’t believe a tall person like him is so innocent on a lot of things. I wonder if he’s a genius as well.
“It would be fun!” I beamed back to not burst his bubble.
To be honest, I, too, am not that close with the neighborhood. Minseok, my first boyfriend, is just a guy around the neighborhood and since her broke up with me, I have lost interest in our neighborhood. I actually told myself to not date anyone in the neighborhood.
It’s really hard how your other neighbors would ask you why you broke up and whose fault is it. They would ask you embarrassing questions and would tease you if you accidentally bumped into your ex-lover.
I don’t like those.
As much as possible, if ever I am to date again, I don’t want it to be my neighbor, or my schoolmate or someone near me. I don’t want to have the same persons around us. With that, we could maintain privacy and avoid bias.
“I really think you’re a nice girl, Ashin.” He told me out of the blue.
We were nearing my house when I suddenly stopped and looked at him. Why do I feel uncomfortable whenever I hear him call my name?
It’s not the first time that I have heard this line. All of my exes told me I am a nice girl. They have all given me the best compliments that would boost my confidence up but then, in the end, they were the ones who gave me the worst comments.
“Thanks,” I replied as I continued walking. “I think you’re a cool guy as well.” I commented back.
He chuckled. “You don’t know.” He told me. “You have yet to know me.”
I smiled at his reply. “You, too. You have a lot of things to know about me.” I beamed as I stopped. “Here’s our house.” I told him.
He looked at me in shock but in a good way. “Really?” He asked. I nodded. “That’s my house.” He pointed at the house two blocks away from ours. “Nice meeting you, neighbor.” He told me as he shook my hand and smiled widely. “I’m really happy you’re the first person I met.”