Even Burnt Ash Leaves Scars

 

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Introduction

 Uncle Duke is glaring at me like I've just sweared or something. His big, brown eyes are fixed on me, and his fork keeps missing his mouth as he tries to eat. I look down the table; Dad, Aunt Elise and cousin Liv are all having some deep conversation about politics on one end (although Dad isn't talking at all) then Mom, Aunt Stephanie, Uncle Hal and baby Sophie at the other, discussing the latest in shop sales then cousin Sam, Lily and Louisa in a detached corner from everyone else eating the leftover cuts of pork and cramming over some dumb middle school homework.  In the center is me, George and Uncle Duke, and although he's pretending to be vaguely interested in what Mom's talking about, but I can tell he's judging every inch of me from my blue hair to my black biker boots. 

It all started last year at New Year's. George had been acting all weird since Christmas, but tonight he was really weird. I should've seen the signs, but it still caught me off guard when the clock stroke twelve and George cornered me on the balcony, Uncle Duke just walked in at the wrong time. He'd always been overprotective type, and when George saw me again at Easter, with my hair dyed a dark pink, practically dribbling, Uncle Duke was fuming. 

Now it was the end of the school year, and Mom had called a huge family reunion for no apparent reason whatsoever, and I had shown up with electric blue shoulder length hair, Uncle Duke had been stone cold. 


Mom tapped her wine glass with her fork and everyone was silent. 'Excuse me, everyone. I have a big announcement to make,' she said, flicking a stray blonde curl from her tight bun behind her heavily bejewelled ears with her long, red fingernails. 'As you all know, we have two children here today who are graduating their senior year this coming July,' everyone cheered for George, and a weird sort of noise for me. I guess not all acting graduates have blue hair and didn't apply for any university deserve much of an applause. 'And I'm pleased to announce the universites they will be attending, which we've known since Easter but decided to reveal only tonight as a surprise!' Mom clapped her hands and made a big beaming smile, quickly recoating her lip gloss. Now I know why we're having this random family reunion; so that we could find out where George is going. Let's see how far across the country Uncle Duke has separated us, not that I like George, but to see how much they disapprove of me! 'George Thomas Montgomery will be attending Georgetown University in September to study law! George at Georgetown - isn't that fitting!' She clapped her hands and made a weird squeal as a diamanté from her fingernail slipped off. The table rejoiced into applause, Uncle Duke making a smug smirk as I downed my glass of champagne. Then suddenly George beamed at me and smiled wide, and Uncle Duke's face turned sour. But there was still a hint of pride in those hating eyes. 'And Hayley Ana Montgomery will be attending Syracuse University in New York in September!' Mom exclaimed happily, although she was avoiding all eye contact with me. Surprisingly, the table actually clapped, and George did an awkward smile. 'What? I didn't apply to university,' I said nervously, trying to laugh it off. Mom looked at her hands in her lap and I saw Dad sit up in his rocking chair and props his walking stick up against the table. 'There must be some mistake, I'm going on my road trip after the summer. Mom, you know that I didn't apply to Syracuse,' my voice started to waver unsurely. 'That's because I applied for you,' Dad piped up. He'd barely said anything at all apart from a polite "hello" and "that's a pretty dress Aunt Elise" even though Aunt Elise's dress was a revolting shade of acid yellow. 'Well, Uncle Duke and I. It's more important for you to have an important education than to go on some pointless road trip,' Dad scoffs swirling whatever concoction of spirits the men were drinking. I looked over at Uncle Duke, whose face was more truimphant than ever. Now this made sense! 'And you so conveniently found a University on the other side of the goddamned United States of America, didn't you?' I asked fuming. I expected somebody to deny that and reassure me that's not what was going on. But nobody did, in fact they all stayed in some awkward silence as though a wall of ice had divided them from me. I felt like crying but I kept my voice strong saying, 'Am I that much of an embarrassment to you lot? I'm sorry that I have no desire to work some boring office job like the rest of you stuck in Arizona for the rest of my life! I'm sorry that I just want to travel America and explore life a bit more! I'm sorry I'm a disappointment!' I bellowed at them, and baby Sophie started to cry. I expected to be comforted and reassured but once again, nobody said anything. The room was silent except from Aunt Stephanie rocking her child in the corner of the dining room. 'Wow,' I said quietly, trying to digest everything. My parents didn't like the fact that I had blue hair and liked drama class instead of law and politics. They thought the neighbors would talk and gossip if they found out that their daughter was going on a road trip and skipping out on a college education just because she didn't want to. So they applied to a university in New York, conveniently far away from them as possible but not for their daughter, for themselves and the sake of their old, safe and boring suburban lives. 'You can't decline,' Dad said quietly. 'It's too late now.' George shuffled away from me in his chair and Mom busied herself with the radio, which was once playing a David Bowie song and had weirdly stopped abruptly when the announcement of my future was released. 'I'm going to bed,' I declared standing up and walking away. I felt the smug eyes of Uncle Duke burning on my back as I walked away. 


I ran up the stairs and slammed the door of my bedroom. I didn't care if my little sister, Minnie, was asleep next door. I didn't care about anything. I tore down the posters on my walls and swept the makeup and hair dye bottles of my dresser. I bundled remaining clothes into my bag and sat on my bare bed. I had packed a day ago in preparation for my road trip, which was now cancelled. I kicked at the old mirror with my shoe, and it cracked a jagged mark in the centre. I hadn't meant to do that; the mirror was one of the few nice things I owned. Suddenly the door opened gingerely and Minnie appeared in the doorway. Her dark blonde hair was swept up in pigtails and she was in a candy onesie that I'd got for her birthday a month ago. She came in and plopped herself on my lap, twirling a strand of blue hair with her little fingers. 'I wasn't really asleep,' she said quietly looking up at me with her light brown eyes. 'I heard what happened. I'm sorry,' she wrapped her arms around my neck and her wispy curls tickled my neck. Minnie was the only one in my family I really liked, because she was so little and fragile that I didn't want her to get hurt. Plus she wasn't embarrassed around me, and all her friends thought I was some super hero with blue hair because Minnie had told them that at school. She made me feel wanted.  'I don't want you to go,' Minnie whined pouting her little pink lips at me. 'I don't want to go either, buttercup,' I sighed sadly. Then I scooped Minnie up in my arms and started twirling her around in the air. 'But maybe you can come with me on a plane all the way to New York,' I said happily, making a vroom noise in my mouth. Minnie laughed and squealed and I set her down again on my bed. 'If you leave, can I have your this?' Minnie fumbled around under my bed and picked up a dusty old snow floor from some family vacation to Alaska God knows how many years ago. 'Would you be so quick in my grave?' I joked poking Minnie playfully in the stomach. 'Of course, I don't need a snow globe in New York anyway.'

'You might do,' Minnie piped up shaking it and watching the little white flakes swirl and fly about in the dome. 'You might want something from home,' she said putting the globe in my palms. I enclosed it in hers and said

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Introduction

 

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