I am so puzzled where am I, all I can see is darkness, darkness that goes on and never stops. I've already tried to pinch myself but it's no use I feel awake but yet a part of me feels like it has drifted off into one of the deepest sleeps I have ever had.

It's no use I can't remember and I can't get out of this darkness. All I want is to see my mother and tell her what happend but for now I don't know what's going to happen and I don't know if I want to either.

 I can't tell time in this place so I don't know what day it is or what time but that doesn't really matter at the moment: I'm trying to listen in to my mother speaking to another woman and a man but I don't really understand cause my mothers speaking her home language Polish, and where I'm the youngest I only know English as that's where I was raised until I was three. But then we moved and that's when everything got worse and I mean a lot worse.

When we moved into our house I had to have the smallest room.

"You don't need toys anymore your almost 13!" But I didn't want to grow up. I wanted to play with my broken Barbie dolls and my scrappy old teddy bear. To me they were my family and friends.

Wait friends, oh yeah I rarely had any of them. At school kids would make fun of my accents and would hurt me, the beatings were bad but the name calling and saying stuff about Amelia was another thing too. Of corse, Amelia my best mate, the only good thing was we had so much on commen. We were both getting bullied, our fathers were in the army and we absolutely loved having braces. She had pink ones but her thick, curly ginger hair would sometimes get caught in them.

Whereas with me my hair is brown,thin and almost straw like,my eyes are like my mothers (unfortunately) big, dark and as the girls would say creepy but Amelia would just say I had night eyes like the starie midnight sky which I found nice but in a way patronising. 

What's going on, I can't see all I can do is hear which is kind of cool but at the same time aggravating. I think there could be a slight possibility that I could be dead but I don't really know: My mother told me that when you move on, there's a place you go to where all of your deseased family members go but to me I think you die and get buried in the ground and stay their never to be seen again. Amelia thinks that you go to that place too and you live on clouds and all of that bunch of nonsense. Do you know what's funny I remember having an argument with her not long ago about it in Humanities (one of the coolest lessons)