My Love...

 

Tablo reader up chevron

Chapter 1- Failure

 I am a failure. Yep, that's me. I try. I try everything, but nothing works. Those stupid mottos, live, laugh, love. Nope, I just can't. Or something like 'Just do it'. No! Never do it. Try once, if you can't do it, give up. Or just never try. That's an option. Also if you can't find love. Die lonely. It will be the best choice you have ever made.

I have been dating since I last remember. The men. They say that they loved the date and would like to meet me again. Then they don't reply to your text messages, you can't can't ahold of them. That's when you finally realise that they were never interested. I am kind of used to it now. No reply. Some men just say it to my face. The people with gut. My generation these days... there is everything. I wish there was no phones, messages, lets go back to cup phones. I might just be happy then. 

Lately I have been not even trying, with love and all. I have taken myself off the dating apps. And I am having some space. 

2 days later....

This space has been good for me. I put myself back on one dating site. Someone has requested to see me, and I accepted it. We are seeing eachother tomorow evening for an early dinner at a bar. Today I organised to catch up with a friend. Sammy. She is my world. Sammy is married, has three kids and is pregnant with her fourth. I wish everything was like Sammy for me. Be married, pregnant and having kids. That would be awesome. If I could never get that, then I just don't want to die alone. That would be sad.

Sammy is letting me stay the night, in the spare room. That way she can help me get ready tomorow for my date. And I wont have to drive back here. It takes me twenty minutes to get to Sammys house, from my house. My house is tiny. Two bedroom, one bathroom/laundry thing, dining and lounge room mushed together, and my tiny kitchen with a mini fridge. I don't have much storage in my house. I can afford a better house, but I am waiting for someone. Someone to come move house with me. Into a three bedroom house. Just us. Then we have kids, get married, expand. And my life is set. Unless we unfortunately get a divorce. 

Once I found my guy, I was dead set on him and he was dead set on me. Everything was great. We were looking a houses together, questioning about getting married, etc. Then I asked him a question I had wanted to ask for months. Do you want to have kids? He said he wasn't sure. Then made some excuse to leave. Then he just, wouldn't  answer my messages again. He moved house, changed his number, and just left. 

Comment Log in or Join Tablo to comment on this chapter...
~

You might like Jasmine Goodwin's other books...