This unrealistic event that occured during my periodic state of rest aroused this piognant feeling that’s so difficult to explain

It wasn’t the first time dreaming of my death, it wasn’t the first time experiencing my last breath

All of a sudden I awaken in a place with the people I care about and minutes later get stabbed. 

I feel when the knife goes in, just a little pain caused by it, but it doesn’t last long because destiny decides it’s my time.

I drop to my knees thinking about what had just happened when my whole body hits the ground. I lay there in shock.

However, that shock doesn’t last. The sound is slowly fading away along with the main picture of my eyes. 

Even though I was in shock, I had no choice other than embracing the outcome of this tragedy. No sadness, no chaos, simply calmess.

It’s not hard accepting you’re dead, what’s hard is accepting departure from the great moment you were living.

Coming back after your death, seeing the ones you love greif,

Momma sits on the table wishing me back and siblings sit in their rooms trying to make a sense of this

I come back to one other person

He’s sitting on my bed

Looking through the photos on my phone

Photos of us how happy we were 

Photos of how big I loved to smile all the time no matter what

Then he turns his head and we meet after a long time

That great smile,  can’t forget it. 

Happiness mixed with sadness, stimultaneously.

Couldn’t ever forget the feeling felt. Feeling like crying but there’s something in you throat and at the same time you’re so glad and a smile comes out but those tears are knocking their way out.

Happiness to see each other once again but sadness of knowing we can’t have that back ever again.

Then I awake, gaining consciousness but still stuck in that same feeling but how I’d love to forget that and never feel the same way again. 

Dreamt scary, dreamt angry, dreamt sad, dreamt lonely, dreamt death, but this feeling of not be able to go back and feeling so stuck is horrible. 

Can take death but not what comes after it. 

   This unrealistic event that occured during my periodic state of rest aroused this piognant feeling that’s so difficult to explain

It wasn’t the first time dreaming of my death, it wasn’t the first time ex

   This unrealistic event that occured during my periodic state of rest aroused this piognant feeling that’s so difficult to explain

It wasn’t the first time dreaming of my death, it wasn’t the first time ex