I was going crazy.

Paranoid. Anxious. I thought I was losing my mind.

Everyday, I can hear them whisper and laugh and I can't help but think that they're talking about me. That there might be something wrong with me. I know there's something wrong with me. I tried to ignore them--the voices of people around me and in my head. But it's too hard and it's not a fair fight. Too may voices with only me listening.

Everyday, I've been thinking too much and I am sure as hell lost. I am crazy. Everything in my life is happening so fast and I can't keep up. I tried to keep up. I don't know if I still want to keep up, I'm feeling kind of tired.

And just like everything in my life, you came in so fast. There was no sign, no warning. Surprise!

You bumped at me on the subway while I was getting inside the train. I think you were on rush. I muttered an apology even though you were the one who bumped me and that you wouldn't hear me.

But you did hear me. You looked back, and I saw you. You are beautiful--attractive, gorgeous, cute, knockout, lovely, stunning, aesthetic and the words goes on.

You said sorry and I just couldn't help but nod at you. What am I supposed to say anyway?

I chose to sit far away from you, so you wouldn't see that I'm staring. You are so beautiful. I want to talk to you. I want to know you.

But I don't think you will care. And I don't think I'll ever see you again.

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