My Heart's Not Famous Enough


Tablo reader up chevron

Story Details

**Re-write of Famously Falling**
  Ronnie decides he needs a new start and on the day of Blaise's fifth birthday he packs his bags and heads off to California. He wants to find a way to move on from what happened and he thinks leaving Kentucky, leaving everyone, is the only way to do so. That is until he falls in love, the one thing he swore he would never do again.

Comment Log in or Join Tablo to comment on this chapter...

My New Home





Dear Gracie,

God is supposed to only give us situations that will make us stronger in the long run. Or I was lead to believe. Taking Caiden away from me doesn't give me strength, it gives me only weakness. I miss him Gracie. I wake up every morning and my hands automatically reach for him on the other side of my bed, and what happened comes crashing down on me.

I ache to hear his voice, to feel his touch, to see his smile. I can barely sleep at night because of the nightmares from that horrible day. It's like a never ending loop, playing over and over again whenever I let my guard down. I know it's been five years but I relive it all the time.

His absence is everywhere I look and it's just to much for me. I am sorry that I can't tell you this in person but just even thinking about him makes me burst into tears. I would break down  if I tried to tell you in person. I'm leaving Grace. I am sorry, but I just can't be here anymore. It's where we fell in love and being here without him is destroying me. I can't spend the rest of my life wallowing in my memories. I need to let him go. I need to heal.

He will always hold a special place in my heart but I need to move on! I can't keep mourning forever. He wouldn't want that, and frankly neither do I. I know I will never be truly happy in life and I accept that, all I want is some resemblance of peace. I can at least have that, right? It hurts having to leave everyone I love here, especially you but you aren't alone. You have Beloved. 

She loves you unconditionally and will be there for you when I leave. I need to find my place in the world Gracie and I can't do that if I stay here. Not with how I am continually living in the past. I need to look towards the future. I hope you can understand that. I am not leaving forever so don't get that idea into your head and start panicking like you always do. I will come back to visit, during holidays anyway. I'm not kicking you out of my life. I promise.

My flight leaves today so I won't be coming to Blaise's party. I know, leaving without saying good bye is awful  and it's even worse when doing so on her birthday but I won't be able to handle it. I don't want to see your faces or have you try to convince me to stay. That is mainly why I am writing now, I hope I can slip this into your mail box without you noticing. Then I will be leaving. I will call you once I arrive......

Sincerely, Ronnie.




Beloved's Pov

Gracie holds the crumpled up note in her fists, which are currently wrapped out my shoulders tightly as she cries. "I don't want him to leave!" She wails in my ear. I wince, patting her back in comfort.

We just said our goodbyes to Ronnie a little over an hour ago and Gracie is taking it pretty badly. I know Ronnie was like Gracie's brother but she needs to get a grip. Our daughter is just as upset over Ronnie's leaving and yet she isn't the one crying her eyes out. I keep my mouth shut as she continues to cry on me, if I try to say anything about how she is acting she will get angry. 

I would rather have her crying on top of me than get angry.

She is very emotional when it comes to family and it is one of the things I love about her. She has such a kind heart and when she loves someone, she fully loves them and becomes a mess if they are hurt or if something worse happens. It still is a bitch to deal with though.

"None of us wanted him to leave sweetheart. But he needs to move on. In order to do that he feels he needs to move to a new place. He's not going to be gone forever...."

"I don't care!" She sniffs, wiping her nose on her shirt sleeve. My nose scrunches in disgust and she just ignores it. "He isn't the only one who misses Caiden! We may have not gotten along, but he clearly meant a lot to you. I know fully well there are times where you wish he were here." She attempts to stop the tears from falling but fails as they continue to stream down her cheeks.

I sigh loudly, masking the pain I am feeling at the mention of Caiden. "Of course I miss him Gracie, he was my best friend, and the father of our child! I wish he was here to witness her growing up. I know what it's like to not have a father around and it is not something I want for her but just because I was able to move on doesn't mean Ronnie has."

She sighs sadly. "It's not fair. Ronnie is only moving to get away from us."

"He isn't doing this to get away from us. It's Kentucky, he wants to be able to live a normal life without being reminded of Caiden everyday." I try to reason with her but we all know trying to reason to Gracie is like trying to reason with a toddler.

"You know very well if this place reminds him of Caiden then we must remind him too! Admit it Bel, he's trying to forget us." She cries quietly, slouching her shoulders.

There is a brief pause of silence before she speaks again. "Why couldn't the damn man survive? Things would so much easier..." She whispers quiet enough to where I can barely hear her. I rub her back soothingly.

"Life isn't meant to be easy Gracie. Otherwise we would have never met him in the first place."


Ronnie's POV

Fuck, why did I think this was a good idea? I could barely take care of myself when I lived with my parents, how did I even think I could manage to live by myself on the opposite end of the United States?! California, what the hell was I thinking? I could have picked a different state to live in, but no, I had to spend almost all my fucking savings on a whim. Stupid airplanes, why do they have to cost so much?

Oh well, at least I won't be alone here. It has way more people in it than Kentucky ever did.

I sigh heavily as the taxi driver pulls to a stop. He mutters out the address, confirming this is my apartment, as he looks back to me. I slip him his pay and quickly get out of the cab, muttering to myself that I seriously need better social skills.

I grab my bags and head through the front door.

I wish my mom hadn't of butted her nose into my business. It's because of her that I am now supposed to live in this ridiculously rich apartment complex, which looks more like a bunch of mini condos. She knows I don't like living in big spaces, I would much rather have a smaller apartment - way smaller.

But no, Ronnie doesn't get a say. Ronnie is leaving his mommy. Her baby is going away so she gets to buy his starting home for him. I tried to get dad on my side with this but whenever my mom has her mind set on something no one can sway her, even my dad.

"How may I help you sir?" The receptionist asks politely with a fake smile. I snicker mentally, pretending I didn't hear what she said - even though I am the only other person in this lobby right now. I want to laugh at the irritated look on her face as she gives me my keys for the apartment. She then tells me which floor it is on and the door number before eagerly motioning for me to leave.

I chuckle quietly as I enter the elevator. Though I admit I do feel a little bad about making her day difficult, if only slightly. It was still worth it to see I could bring that reaction out of people.

Once the elevator stops and the door dings open I walk rather briskly down the hall. I glance at each of the doors that I pass hoping I get to mine quickly cause these bags that I am carrying are fucking heavy.

"There you are!" I exclaim to myself as I now stand in front my new apartment. One Hundred and Twelve. My new home.

My fresh start.

Sighing, I set the bags down to free my hands and reach for the keys in my pocket.

My eyes widen. "Oh shit." I mutter as I feel out both of my back and front pockets looking for the keys. Panicking, I look up and down the hallway. Cursing more than a sailor in my mind as I start walking back the way I came, forgetting that I have left everything I own right smack dab in the open.

"Where in the fuck could they have gon-" As I was frantically looking at the floor I slam into someone. Said someone was very tall, and very male. A blush reaches my cheeks as I mutter sorry over and over again. I am extraordinarily embarrassed to the degree of being on the border line of horrified.

"It's alright. Not like you meant to run into me." A mildly deep, British accent speaks. I freeze mid-fluster, raising my eyes from the ground to look the man straight in the face. I gasp loudly - and rather dramatically if I must admit. The man gives me a dazzling smile that sends my heart pounding a thousand miles.

"Are these yours by any chance?" The sex God asks, wiggling a set of keys with the number one hundred and twelve etched on them by his face. "I found them by the elevator, and considering that you look like you are trying to find something, I assume they belong to you." I blink slowly, coming to the realization that he is speaking and I have heard not a single word coming out of his mouth.

"Wha..?" I start to slowly gain my composure back only to lose it all over again when I realize who is standing in front of me. "Oh my god! You're Robert Pattinson!" I exclaim excitedly.

"How did you know?" Robert asks in a teasing manner. I mentally swoon and clutch at my chest to make sure my heart is still beating. God damn this man is gorgeous! I just want to lick him all over!

Is that normal? Probably not. I laugh nervously to myself, gaining a questioning stare from Robert.

"Holy flaming balls of pop tarts!" I exclaim, suddenly very conscious of how warm it's getting in this hallway. He says something else to me but I barely hear his voice as my vision starts to dim around the edges. 

My mind swirls and then suddenly darkness.

Comment Log in or Join Tablo to comment on this chapter...

Fainting In Front Of A Celebrity Is NOT Charming

Robert's POV

"What the hell?" I mutter in surprise as the man loses consciousness. I look around the hall to see if there is anyone near us, there is no one here. It is pretty vacant for a popular complex. 

I sigh dejectedly. I hate it when this happens, especially when it involves a grown adult. "Sir?" I nudge his leg with my foot, he doesn't move. I look at the room number on the key chain and I see One Hundred and Twelve. Okay, if he isn't going to wake up any time soon I should at least help him to his apartment. To save him from utter embarrassment. Then again, fainting in front of a celebrity is probably embarrassing enough as it is.

Sighing, I pull him up by his arms and position him to where I can support most of his body weight. For a guy he doesn't weight that much. I wonder if he is naturally this skinny or if he works to keep it this way. If he works out I might ask him about what routine he does.

I need to lose a few pounds myself.

Standing outside of his apartment I lean him slightly against the wall as I unlock the door. Being careful enough to make sure he doesn't fall. Once we're inside I lay him on the couch and head back out to grab the two duffel bags that I assume are his. Wouldn't want anything to happen to his things while he's out.

Once I'm back inside I set the bags down by the door, shutting it quietly before sitting by him on the couch.

I kind of feel bad about the situation, which is a first for me. Usually when a fan goes ballistic I just shrug it off. At least I do it now, I did feel bad when I was still getting used to being famous but ever since being in the Twilight Saga I have grown quite used to it.

Sitting there on the couch by the unconscious man, I look him over.

He has bleach blonde hair that looks like he puts time into styling, it's sort of wavy but not in the way where he has to make it so.His skin is pale but looks warm toned a bit, like he tried to tan but it didn't really work. He's hot in a pretty boy sort of way. His lips are thin but not overly so, making them look pouty. He also has a straight, narrow nose and high cheek bones. 

I randomly start to wonder how he looks when he smiles. Does his eyes crinkle with laugh lines? Does he give an toothy grin or a smirk? God, I'm thinking to much into this. I met this man barely five minutes ago, I don't know his name and he fainted at the sight of me. I should definitely not be thinking about his freaking smile! Sighing, I slouch against the couch seat.

Oh well, all I can do now is wait for him to wake up.


Ronnie's POV

"Ugh." I groan loudly and rub at my eyes. Slowly coming to, I sit up in alarm. I look around confusingly, noticing I am in my an apartment. I hope it's my apartment at least, last thing I want to happen is to end up as some freaky cannibal's lunch.

"I see you are awake." He lets out a relieved sigh.

I freeze in surprise as it all falls into place. Getting my apartment keys, losing said keys, and finally meeting him. I gasp quietly. "Oh my gosh." I whisper. "Please tell me I'm not dreaming..." He gives me a toothless grin, my heart flutters in my chest and my stomach rises to my throat.

"I assure you, you're not dreaming." He chuckles. I then scowl, remembering that I had fainted in front of him, the Robert Pattinson, my celebrity crush.

Fucking hell.

"I am so sorry! For what happened earlier. It's just seeing you out of no where, in the flesh, just surprised the hell out of me. I never thought in a million years I would meet you!!" I ramble out as I stare at the floor feeling mortified.

"I am human you know. It's about as possible to come in contact with me as it would for you to meet any other person in California." He chuckles, laying his hand out in between us. "But just so we can formally meet, I am Robert Pattinson. What is your name?" 

I shake his hand. "M-my name is Ronnie. Ronnie Vasquez..." I whisper. I look around the apartment once again before looking back at him. "Um. This might seem like a stupid question but, where are we?"

Robert chuckles quietly. I pretend to not noticing the fluttering in my stomach. "We are in your apartment. I figured you would want to be here when you woke up."

I nod in response, still amazed that I am talking to Robert Pattinson of all people. Then there is the fact that is he here, sitting beside me in MY apartment! This has got to be the greatest day of my life! Caiden will be so happy when I tel-

Suddenly I am crashing back into reality. My shoulders slump as I come to realize that for a moment I forgot Caiden wasn't here anymore, that he was dead.

A lone tear makes it's way down my cheek as I recall the year that we known each other. The time where I made him watch all the Twilight movies and he never complained once through out the entire night. I remember during the credits of Breaking Dawn Part Two we promised each other that if we ever had a chance to meet our celebrity crush's we would meet them together....

That will never happen because he is dead and I am right now sitting with the man I have never ever dreamed of meeting in my entire life, without him...

I start crying.

A hand makes its way onto my shoulder and I jump from the contact. "Hey, you okay there Ron?" Ron? Did he just seriously call me Ron? Ugh, what a stupid nickname!

I sniff involuntarily. "I'm sorry. I was just thinking about someone." I frantically wipe away the tears on my face.

"May I ask who?" I shake my head. I don't care who he is, he could be the fucking president of the United States and I still wouldn't tell him. Caiden's death won't matter to him at all. He's a stranger to him and that of all things makes me angry. No one I come in contact with here will ever know how amazing Caiden was.

"He was just someone very close to me.... He died awhile ago. I'm still not over it." I smile sadly at him, hoping he'll understand that I don't want to talk about it. He nods solemnly. A few moments of awkward silence passes by before I can't stand it anymore. I get up from the couch and go over to where he placed my bags and I take them to my bedroom. 

I need a few minutes to myself, to think.

Sighing heavily, I lean against the edge of the bed. Ronnie, you have to stop this. Coming here was to help you move on, not to hold you back! If you can't do it for yourself then do it for Caiden. He wouldn't want you to be like this. I rub my face tiredly, wishing I could wake up from this nightmare.

It's not like Robert and I are going to be anything. I can be friends with the damned man if I want to! Gosh, it would be rather hard though with the way he makes me feel. I mean his smile alone sends my heart into a fluttery mess.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. "I can leave if I am bothering you...." He mutters, standing by my bedroom door in anxiously.

I shake my head. "No, you don't have to leave..." I try my best to smile. "It's not like meeting one of my favorite celebrities is going to happen everyday. Might as well enjoy it!" I exclaim, hiding the sadness that I am feeling. Don't get me wrong, I am absolutely thrilled to be talking to Robert. It's just the fact that I am doing it without Caiden that hurts...

He smiles a toothy smile which sends my heart into overdrive. "You're favorite? Well I am flattered to say the least." He then heads back towards the living room. Running my fingers through my hair nervously, I follow him.

Comment Log in or Join Tablo to comment on this chapter...

Coffee Shop

Comment Log in or Join Tablo to comment on this chapter...

Mourning Never Ends

Comment Log in or Join Tablo to comment on this chapter...

Feelings Come Out

Comment Log in or Join Tablo to comment on this chapter...

Telling Him Everything

Comment Log in or Join Tablo to comment on this chapter...

Old Friends

Comment Log in or Join Tablo to comment on this chapter...

He Is Worth It

Comment Log in or Join Tablo to comment on this chapter...

You might like JennaCULLEN's other books...