Love

 

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Why

 Why do we fear falling in love, well the answer is simple we don't, we fear what comes after, we fear that they won't feel the same, we fear getting cheated on, we fear the pain that is involved. 


So what happens after we fall in love with someone? we can't take our eyes off them, we crave their presence, we get butterflies and we Blush when we talk to them, we pray that they feel the same and that one day we can call them ours, we try be ourselves and hope they fall for us but sometimes we do the stupid thing of pretending to be their dream girl and we all know how that ends.


This is why I'm scared, I'm falling for him and I can see how badly it's going to hurt when I see him with another girl the jealousy will build inside me and I will break, always asking why I'm never enough, when I see them together my chest will tighten and I will get this feeling that my heart is breaking and the clenched feeling you get in the back of your throat before you cry, my eyes will begin to water and I will bite the side of my cheeks until they bleed to stop the tears rushing down my face. 


It can go another way as well he can just not be attracted to me and that's not as bad but it still hurts, it still makes you feel like your world is getting slowly destroyed In front of you despite your desire to stop it you still get all those feelings, your heart will still go from skipping a beat when you see him to just slowly crumbling, you can't help this.... no one can


This is why Im scared I have already fallen for him I can honestly say I may not be in love yet but the signs are there my heart beats like a rabbits when it's scared, I feel like butterflies are rapidly flying around my stomach, the blood rushes to my cheeks and my anxiety kicks in, my mouth shuts tight making it hard to speak, I can't help to smile at him and for a split second I feel like I may have a chance that he could be mine one day, I forget to be careful I open up and fall even deeper. 


He is like the brightest star in the sky impossible to miss, perfect in the eyes of myself, makes the world feel allot less evil and filled with darkness and can still destroy so much by creating a black hole but since he is not a star, it will be my heart instead.


but it's not all bad for some people they actually end up with the person they almost drowned for..

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