Good Intentions

 

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Good intentions (431 words)

Keith waited with unease. The assignment had been completed and all that stood between him and his Bp (Bachelor of Possession, was the final interview. The last three weeks had been an earth on Hell.

"Come." The summons, Keith entered.

"Evil one." he bowed.

"Sit." Lucifer looked down at the report on the desk and frowned.

"Keith? What kind of a name is that for a demon?"

"It was a misprint on my creation document."

"SPEAK UP?"

"I was to be 'Gazgeroth', but it was misspelled on the form."

Lucifer's eyes rolled Hell-wards. "Let's get on with it."

The Devil ran a finger along the first line, lips moving."

"Ah, Right. Your notes show a very meticulous approach, all of the seven abominations(Proverbs 6:16-19) listed."  Lucifer's teeth gleamed in a grimace.

"Let's examine the results, shall we."

A proud look

"Subject; peafowl genera Pavo. That's a peacock, Keith. It is in their nature to look proud. No sin in that. Actually it's an asset"

A lying tongue

"Subject; human, good choice. A lawyer! Lawyers lie to feed their families. That's not a sin."

Hands that shed innocent blood

"Subject, Panthera leo. A lion! Keith what's with the animals?"

"A new pro species inclusive policy."

Lucifer gave a shiver. "Is it getting cold down here.  A lion. Of course it kills the innocent. Are you sure you've got the hang of this Keith."

A heart that devises wicked plots

"Subject; Human. More like it, Keith. Who did you choose. Ah! A general, war mongers all, good candidates... usually but devious plots that lead to saving thousands of lives, not really evil is it."  

"No, not exactly, but it does depend on which side you're on."

A withering stare silenced Keith.

"Hell help me, Keith. Four attempts, four failures. At least you're consistent. Should I even bother to go on?

"I did well with number seven, 'Him that soweth discord among brethren'. I was very successful there. Even Drill Instructor Sonneillon, said so."

"Did he?"

"Yes he said; ' Marvelous, bloody marvelous, Keith. The entire platoon hates you.'"

The Devil's head sank down to rest on the desk, with a supernatural will the head rose again, the teeth dazzled.

"Abysmally done, you're on the team... Gaz. 

"I passed?"

"You are bureaucrat material of the highest calibre, my new chief of paperwork and other annoying stuff. Also in charge of the Hell printing works, The Prints of Darkness."

"Err thank you... Oh Evil One."

"No, no, call me Lucy, please." She bared her teeth again. "Go out there and give them heaven"

 

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