conflicting emotions

tear me apart like flanders

collect every last thread of strength i have and tie each one around your fingers

seize them

pull them

break them

break me

my heart cannot hold much more pain 

it’s porcelain and already cracked

loosely stitched together like meat on a butchers table

every breath takes more strength than i have

i’m in debt to myself

and i’m heavy and drowning

feet shackled to the sea bed

the fish pass me by while

i struggle to keep my head above water

weights dragging me down

here i am

i’m barely breathing

floating away but somehow not moving

trapped in this limbo of uncertainty

every shred of skin left on my back is rotting away

i am withered and lost

caught in a cycle of self destruction

around and around

spinning so fast my head and heart ache

i’m dizzy and confused

always

the empty shell that once held me is on a war path

blue on blue

i am slowly losing myself