If, at some point, you find any of this make sense, please don't keep it a secret

Suffocating as it has become, I never recognised it in others before it visited me.  Now that it is here, I can't get rid of it.  The burden of a life full of unforgivable mistakes, damaged friendships followed by a crippling self-realisation that you're paralysed and essentially alone.  Stuck in the tar pit of your life experience.  The price of being true to self is considerable.  For the first time I'm out of ideas.