JYE...

I gasp as I wake up feeling like I'm being strangled.  My hands panickily come up to my neck, releasing the sheet that is tangled around me, I must of tossed and turned ferociously last night.  I detangle myself then look out the window seeing what the weathers like today.  I can see a clear blue sky, the tree's moving back and forth slightly with the breeze.  Great, the one day I wish it was a shitty crappy day, exactly the way I feel about it, it isn't.  It looks glorious outside, bummer.  And my head is killing me.

I moan struggling to sit myself up.  I lost count of how many shots I had in between the beers last night.  I'm not sure about much from last night.  I rub my skull in agony until I hear a moan behind me, feeling a hand stroking up my back.  Shit I don't remember her but.  Turning my head slightly, letting my eyes do all the work I see Karen, Carrie or something like that.  Shit. I was trying to avoid waking up next to some strange girl like usual.  I was trying to be good, a better man, but I must of had a weak moment last night, so here I am again, waking up with a stranger.  I see a scrappy piece of material screwed up at my feet, along with a scrunched up tissue, I'll assume there is a condom in there, I pray there is a condom wrapped up in there.  I lean down and pick up the dress, throwing it over my shoulder, not even acknowledging her.  I've become a bit of a prick in the last year.  

"Get dressed, it's time to leave.  You should've left last night" I growl at her.  I usually kick them out but I was so drunk actually I don't even remember telling her to go, so this is my fault.  Now in the bright morning daylight I have to do it.  Great.  

"Am I going to see you again? Tonight maybe?" she says leaning up and whispering in my ear.  I pull my body away sharply.  My dick thinks differently.  'Just go' I say shaking my head looking disgusted, I didn't mean to do this again, shit.  I keep on getting myself into these situations, I really need to stop the large consumption of alcohol that leads to this on a regular basis.

"No...ONE night stand is what it's called, get it?" I say nastily to her louder this time.  She gives me a really dirty look, angrily pulls her dress over her head, picks up her shoes and underwear from the ground then looks at me.  I can see tears in her eyes, perfect that's gunna make me feel that little bit worst.  I go to say 'sorry' but she is already slamming the door behind her.  I lay back down on the bed, and talk to myself 'what a fantastic start to a some what god-damn awful day.'  

I sit back up on the bed stretch my arms up over my head, turning my head trying to get the kink out of my neck.  How in the hell that sheet got wrapped so tightly around my neck I'll never know.  Maybe Karen, Carrie or whatever tried to kill me last night because she knew I would kick her arse to the curb this morning.  Not going to think about her again, my mind is too busy planning the shitty day ahead of me.  Today my mum is getting married.  Yeah, yeah I know, whoo-hoo a joyous occasion...NOT.   She should be here with my father, stayed married to this man, not marrying some other man.  You would think by now I would've got over it...but I just didn't.  It seems like just yesterday but it's been like...two, nearly three years now.  Mum leaving and finding another life seemed to consume me, making me this angry boy.  

When it happened we had a choice who we went with, jeez at least they were kind enough to at least let us choose which parent we wanted to watch dissolve in the aftermath.  Will my older brother moved away with her.   I stayed with Dad.  So here I am.  Just me and Dad, Dad and I, taking one day at a time.  I mean it all happened so peacefully, I wonder why I feel so twisted up in side.  Will had just finished school, looked into a university he wanted to go to, chose North Western, which is about three hours from here, so off he went taking my mum with him.  They just packed up and left, went, gone.  At first, the conversation between mum and dad was sort of 'you go to help Will, I'll stay here until Jye finishes school, we'll have a little break from each other, then maybe when Will finishes you'll come back.'  Not awfully romantic I suppose I mean what a joke because that's never happening.  Mum knew she would never be back, Will didn't have to come back, and deep down inside I knew they were never coming back.  Dad was the only one who believed they would return.  Now Dad sits here waiting for her to walk back thru the door...but that ain't gunna happen.  Ever.  And especially after today.

I stand up, feeling hesitant to move towards the bathroom, knowing I need to get ready.  I didn't tell Dad about today.  I feel bad not talking about it but I'm also a little protective of him, after all he didn't leave me behind like she did.  I know I have my defences up, I know they fell out of love, I know all that, but I just don't understand.  I stand looking at myself in the mirror.  Am I a scum-bag for thinking nasty thoughts about her.  I wonder if she will see I've changed in the three years since they've been gone.  I was only fifteen when they went.  A scrawny shy pubescent teenage boy, more interested in my playstation than the going ons around here.  'Skinny runt' was everyones favourite nasty name for me. ' Sticks and stones' mum would say.  But now I've changed.  'Scum-bag arsehole' is probably more suitable now.

Looking down my body in the reflection I flex the muscles in my arms, checking myself out.  Shortly after they went Dad and I joined a gym.  Whether it was for companionship, father and son bonding, I'm not sure but he joined up and so did I.  He changed our eating habits, with me complaining most times, but together in the end he got healthier and I got muscles.  Except of course for Friday nights when I don't care about what enters my body or obviously who's body I enter.  Now I don't look like the average eighteen year old, a boy who's just finished school, thats for sure.  I look much older, old enough that I've never had to worry about age limits with getting tattoos or getting into pubs.  This has been my downfall although because now I have a body covered in ink and can drink most people under the table.  I slip on my boardies,  squeeze into a t-shirt, I try to dress casually, having already sneaking a better outfit in the car yesterday so Dad didn't see.

"Morning Jye, what you up to this week-end?" Dad says as I sit down at the table.  Now school is over I know he's expecting me to start scouting out my next move.  He is a builder, and I've been doing an apprenticeship with him whilst going to school these last few years,  I'm finished school now and will be finished the apprenticeship soon also but I've been thinking that I like the designing side of building, so I'm about to enrol into University to pursue this, but I haven't told him yet.  

"Me and boys are going camping overnight, nothing much just winding down from studying you know, what are you doing?" I ask him casually taking the focus off me.  He sits down, not answering until he has finished his mouth full.  

"Nothing much.  Where are you lot camping then?  Is that girl going with you?" he asks me only curious I hope. 

"Um...No she isn't and I'm not sure yet, we'll probably decide when we meet up" I say putting a big mouthful of cereal in, hoping the questions stop.  He knows perfectly well she was just a quick root.  He knows I don't even know her name.

"Do you need any money or food for this camping trip?" he asks starting to annoy me now.

"No...Shane is sorting it, I'm driving he's cooking, all good, thanks Dad" I say smiling at him.  Shane is one of my good mates.  I drive, he supplies the food.  I help Dad clean up after breakfast, grab my backpack, sling it over my shoulder and head for the door.  He follows me.  I go out the door and turn to him.  He is standing on the front porch reaching in his pocket for his wallet.  

"Here take this just incase" handing me a fifty dollar note.  I make a face at him then take the money.  I don't ask him for much so I suppose this is his way of giving stuff to me with the excuse of 'just incase.'  

"I'll be back sometime tomorrow night, might even be Monday night if the weather's good, see ya Dad."  His hand comes up to the wave position, his face is killing me.  I jump in my car, not waiting for it to warm up before I reverse out of the driveway.  I look back in the mirror, he is still watching me drive up the street, still looking at me with that lonely, sad face.  I know he knows where I'm truly going.  I had warned all my friends to stay away from any of my Dads haunts this weekend seeing they were suppose to be with me.  I hope they remember.  I turn up the music and settle into the next three hour drive. 

SHAY...

I stretch my arms up over my head as I wake up, glancing over to the window, I'm smiling at the gorgeous day ahead of us.  Married, my Dad is getting married.  It will be his first marriage at the ripe old age of fifty.  I literally bounce out of bed, swing the balcony doors open allowing the balmy breeze to blow thru my room.  The sun hits my face warming it instantly.  I smile up feeling it soak into my skin.  I'm so happy for him and I really love Julia, she is the loveliest person.  I suppose it is fair to say I'm pretty smitten with her son Will also.  I hadn't never had anyone to hang around with full time.  He instantly became like the big brother I never had.  Now he is my best friend.  Even though lately I've been thinking of him differently, more than a friend.  My heart beats faster when he is around, and I think he looks at me differently.  He has the most pretty blue/green aura.  It swirls all around him, it makes me want to be close to him.  The only time it changes is when I see him at school, then it has a few red flecks thru it.  His face changes then also, he frowns heaps more.

I strip off my pj's, jump into the shower and start washing my hair.  I'm so happy a hair stylist is coming to tame my long blonde ringlets today.  I laver up all my body, singing at the top of my lungs while the bathroom steams up.  It isn't long before I hear the door open and a deep voice talking to me, stopping me from the grand finale of my song that I realise Will is sitting in the bathroom with me.  Trying to make sure the shower curtain doesn't stick to me I peek my head around at him.  I never use to care but Will has scolded me telling me to cover up.  I know my body has changed in the last year, I was a late bloomer, but finally I have boobs and my body is a bit curvier.  Will keeps telling me to be more wary because boys will start trying stuff with me.  I think I want to try stuff but. 

"Are you excited for today? I can't wait...I've never been to a wedding.  What colour is your suite? Are you wearing your hair like that? Why aren't you getting ready? Just let me finish the rest of the song or it will get stuck in my head all day okay" I say then break out singing the rest of the song. Will just continues sitting on the closed toilet seat quietly.  I turn the shower off then a towel appears over the rail for me.  I wrap it around my body before I step out of the shower.  His glow isn't with him today, and he looks worried.

"My suite is grey.  And no I'm not very excited" he says slouching on the toilet seat.

"Why not? Whats wrong?  Is your mum not happy?" I say looking worried back at him.  He gets up and pulls my towel wrapped wet body to him for a hug.

"No don't be silly, she is really happy.  It's seeing my brother.  He sort of ignored mum and I after we left.  Mum tried to communicate with him but he totally fobbed her off.  He was going thru a rebellious teenage stage, hated not being able to understand why we left, why we didn't come back, you know usual stuff associated with divorce.  He was a good kid but according to mum he's been a little wild these last few years, of course she blames herself, so I'm just worried if he is coming to wreck this wedding or reconcile."  I shake my head like I've heard him, but I'm not sure what to say to him.  I walk out of the bathroom, awkwardly pulling a pair of undies on, then turn and drop the towel, quickly pulling a large t-shirt over myself.  I leave the towel that is wrapped around my wet hair.  Will is sitting on my bed now, watching me.

I sit next to him and pick up his hand.  He takes a deep breathe, almost like he is smelling the air around us.  Of course my body tingles like usual.   

"Did you have a good relationship with him before you left?  I mean was it special or did you two just put up with each other?" I ask him sympathetically.  

"I suppose it was just a normal sibling relationship.  He would gawk at girls I brought home like any prepubescent boy, he would storm off when times got tough, wanted to join in everything I did, sneak a smoke and a beer every chance, sit in front of a video game for hours, usual stuff."

"But did you talk to him, like nicely like you talk to me, look after him, like you do me, make him know you have his back, ask him things about school and girls and stuff?" I say as I squeeze his hand.  He looks down like he is thinking about it.

"Not really, mum did all that, it is different with boys.  I was wrapped up in sports, school, girls I didn't have the time, then we left and now I feel bad about it."

"Well it's never too late Will, just make sure he knows your still around for him...what is he like other than the typical boy?" I ask curiously.  I wonder if he is as great as Will.  Does he look like him? Will he like me? I wonder if I could think of him as a best friend as well.  

"It's been three years Shay, I don't know whether it will be the same old Jye or what, that is why I'm worried.  He was skinny and gangly when I left.  I know he use to get called names because he hadn't 'filled out' yet, mum would pacify him you know."

"Pfft...sounds like my problem" I say to him as I get up and move to the mirror.

I spread some moisturiser on my face.  Then I smear a load of strawberry smelling bodyshop lotion on my legs, and my arms.  Will is still sitting watching me.  Then I flick my head over and rub the towel a little and pull it off my mop.  Wet ringlets fall down over my shoulders.  I dare not touch them or it will become one big frizz fest.  Will comes and stands behind me talking my reflection.

"So, this is it then.  I'm really happy to have you and your Dad as family Shay" he says awkwardly.  I smile at him.  His colour has come back around him, probably a little more blue than green.  

"Me too Will, it's going to be great."  I watch him leave the room, then my shoulders slump.  He has finished his Uni degree now, he is going to be moving to the city soon.  It isn't going to be great, I'm losing the brother and best friend I've always prayed for just as we are going to be legally joined as a family.  This sucks balls.  I go back out the balcony and watch the grounds below me being prepared for the wedding, smiling at the beautiful white flowers that have blossomed just today, for this beautiful occasion I'm sure.  I turn and go and see what every one else is up to.  I pick up Will's hand dragging him along with me.

The kitchen is packed with people.  I hug them all.  This is my usual morning.  Everyone here live in the other little cottages on this land.  It's like a little commune.  Ten little cute A-frame cottages sit gathered around in a semi circle, over looking a lake, with a common kitchen.  All the cottages have their own small kitchens but we like to all eat together, like one big family.  This is all I knew growing up.  And with some couples having kids it was like I was never a motherless only child.  My Dad and nine other of his friends bought the run down holiday park years ago, they then renovated the whole lot, now together they maintain the grounds, and any other necessary spending is decided around a bbq and a beer.  One of them went overseas a few years ago, renting his cottage to Julia and Will, that is how we all met.

WILL...

I wake up confused, not really knowing how I feel about today.  I mean I'm happy for mum, I really like John and I love Shay, well lets just say Shay has a special place in my heart.  It is Jye that worries me.  I feel so guilty about leaving him, I realise now how vulnerable he was.  I should've been there to protect him.  Both mum and I should've been there, I know this now.  I didn't care about anyone when we first moved here, I was too wrapped up in going to University, excited to be leaving the town we lived in, even happy to leave Dad.  I wanted mum to be happy.  You see I was the one who knew the truth about there marriage dissolving.  I watched it, and I couldn't do anything to help Jye with what was happening.   

Jye was too young to understand exactly what went on behind closed doors.  He didn't hear mum cry herself to sleep every night.  I didn't even know until we left exactly what happened.  But when she finally made the move, using the excuse of helping me out is when she opened up to me.  And the truth hurt.  He didn't love her.  He was always in love with someone else.  He had always been in love with his first girlfriend, and together they continued their love affair, both of them being married to other people.  This made me hate him just that little bit more.  So honestly I should be ecstatic about today.  But I still have to face Jye.  

I stand looking at the beautiful morning happening outside.  I see the breeze making the tree's sway.  I can see people starting to construct the podium that mum and John will stand on.  I then look up at Shay's balcony.  I spot her standing holding the rail, head bent up soaking in the sun. Her long blonde curly hair lifts slightly as the wind catches it.  She was my saviour when we moved here.  At first mum and I were cautious living here like this.  I wasn't sure about living so close, sharing things.  Mum had been a business women all my life, then suddenly it was like she was free.  She stopped, put her guard down, opened her heart and found her real love.  So when the divorce was finalised I didn't feel bad.  Dad was free to pursue his true love, he didn't love mum, isn't that what he wanted all those years?  Now mum is free to finally have the love of her life.

Mum ended up opening a small cafe in town, Shay and I work it with her when we can.  John owns a small law firm in town.  He is smart but looks nothing like a lawyer.  He has offered to help me with my future endeavours, I trust him, I know he will look after me.  Dad wanted me to work for him, but I was more into the design side of the building industry and now I am a Architect, hoping to start my own company soon.  I have only talked to Dad over the phone a few times in these past years, I think I let him down, and now I will never go back, and I know he knows that.  

He had been good at hiding his affair.  I wondered about the other woman.  Why hadn't they just got together? What does her husband think? What does her kids think or even know? I have a quick shower, waking myself up then head on over to Shay's.  I can hear her singing from all the way outside.  She is always singing or humming.  She is always smiling and happy.  She radiates love and kindness, everyone falls in love with Shay.  And now she will be heading to the same university I was at, now I will have another thing to worry about.  I've already spend the last few years making sure she didn't hear all the horrible names people called her due to her lifestyle, the way she looks.  How am I suppose to protect her now.  'Sticks and stones' mum would me, Shay is strong, she know who she is, she will be fine.

I head up to her room, sitting on the toilet in the bathroom, she knows I'm here.  She leans against the shower curtain, I turn my head away just incase, making her cautious about me there.  She throws a thousand questions at me excitedly, then finishes off singing the rest of her song.   I hand her a towel and stand waiting for her the other side of the curtain.  She knows there is something worrying me, she always does.  She hops out turning to talk to me.  Her smooth skin glistens with small water drops.  I avoid her seeing my 'stunned mullet', my usual look when she is around lately I pull her to me for a hug.  then she heads into her bedroom.  I sit on her bed trying my hardest not to watch her, and failing miserably.  She awkwardly pulls some undies on, then she drops the towel allowing me to see her slender curvaceous body.  I watch the t-shirt drop down her body, hiding it from me.  I try and snap myself out of the Shay trance.  Next thing I know she's holding my hand consoling me while I tell her my troubles.  Her smell invades my senses.  Her closeness calms me.  After I've talked to her I meet her downstairs, where she drags me to the commune kitchen.  

After breakfast I go with her so she can check that all the flower arrangements are perfect for the wedding.  When we are walking back I tickle her, making her giggle stupidly.  We fall thru the commune kitchen door and are suddenly stopped in our tracks.

"Jye" I say staring at a huge little brother standing in front of me.  I don't even hesitate, all I can do is hug him.  Tightly.  He is probably a little bit bigger than me now.  He is eye to eye with me.  He is strong, I can tell by the way his arms at built.  I don't let go until I can feel him relaxing a little.  Before I say anything Shay has him in her hold.  He hugs her back, totally overwhelmed obviously with all the free hugs we get around here.  I watch him looking at her while she speaks to him...yep she has cast her spell on him already, he is already under the 'Shay spell.'