This is the first book of Dreaming Of Jason.
In Pawprints, we get a sense of who these people are, and what their back story is.
I hope you enjoy reading this.
Close contact, small touch.
You have to go, you're moving.
To a new place, leave.
My heart hurts to see you packing.
Maybe you know how I feel, maybe you don't.
That will be my punishment for not telling you.
I hug you tightly from your back.
You smile at the mirror to me, assuring, loving.
And inside, my heart swells with sadness and sweetness at your smile, knowing it will be the last I see of you.
Fully clothed, but bare-skinned, I can feel your heart beating against my chest.
Do you feel mine?
While you bend down and pack, I hug from behind, breathing you in.
You smell of comfort, then of you.
But you are both to me.
You get up, I do too.
Awkward, I stand away.
You reach past me for your coat, brushing against my skin softly
A second, your cheek against mine.
Beautiful, simple, sweet love blooms inside my small, undeserving heart.
You pause, our cheeks, our bare skin, stay, a second too long.
Do you feel the same way?
My heart starts beating again only after you move away and bend over your suitcase, straightening up things, but holding on to an umbrella beside your bag.
Before you started packing, I had come into the old, tatty apartment you and your sister live in.
Susie and I started talking, something about an invasion of privacy
I stood up and said, 'Isn't this an invasion of privacy?' pointing to your windows, wide and screened.
'What's wrong with them?' Susie asks, standing up and walking over.
'People walking by in the street can just look up and see inside your house.'
You stay silent and calm, on the couch, knowing after Susie leaves for her date that we can talk.
'Well what's there to see?' Susie walks around the small apartment that's hardly 320 square feet.
When you walk in from the door, on your right is a rather big bathroom, which is the only un-drabby looking part.
You walk four yards and find a square room with a floppy beanbag couch that's a dirty looking brown, but is actually quite clean and good smelling.
A foot away, on the floor, is a lumpy old mattress that is Susie's bed.
You take the Beanbag at night.
To the left is a small counter with a sink, toaster oven, and pressure cooker.
'What if you have a guest over and he stays the night, you know what I mean, and he stands up and they'll see his abs?'
Susie laughs at this, partly because she doesn't plan on bringing home 'guests' any time soon.
'And then you'll stand up and people will see you half naked!'
Susie laughs again and you smile at my silly, persisting nature.
'Or, yknow, we could just get curtains.'
Susie glances at the clock, grabs her bag and says, 'See ya!'
You get up and turn to me with a sober face.
'I have something to tell you.'
I'm a bit put off by your attitude.
You glance at me as I plop down onto the beanbag.
'I'm leaving tonight.'
Even though we both know what you're talking about, you open your mouth to elaborate.
'For my gap year, I mean.'
You pause and look at me again.
'After that, I'll go to America and study at Harvard and M.I.T., alternating classes. Then I'll start working for Pendragon, my sponsor company. They're paying for Harvard.'
'I thought you only applied to Harvard?'
'Susie got a copy of my Harvard letter and sent it to M.I.T. I don't want to waste the opportunity, so I talked to the administrations and they figured out a calendar for me. I'm sorry I'm only telling you now. They confirmed just yesterday.'
I look down at my feet and murmur, 'It's okay.'
You gaze at me for a moment, waiting for something else.
I only stare out the window, silent.
You look away and we feel the awkwardness seeping into every crack.
Taking down your suitcase, you start packing.
I bite my lip and burn with sadness.